mbscaredtodeath Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Hi there, First time here. So this is my first relationship I've entered into and I'm seriously having the hardest time with it. I'm 24, he's 22 and I've never been so into someone in my whole life. He is perfect for me and even as I type this I know i'm being stupid. We started dating for two weeks and then he had to move away. He suggested that we stay together and try the long distance thing. It's only a ferry ride away, about 4 hours total travel time. It has been two weeks since I've seen him, he's currently in vegas with his best friend and I'm just so unbeliveably miserable on my own here. I cry on a daily basis, i miss him so much it hurts. He's a good boyfriend in that he texts me almost every day to see how my day was and to say goodnight but I just don't know if I can handle the pain of being away from him. My anxiety is made worse by the fact that he seems to be fine with the distance, he's said he's missed me a few times and has said that it's "hard for him too" but nothing other than that. I just wonder if the pain is even worth it. I can't see myself breaking up with him because that would be painful too. I just don't know what to do. The end game is coming in Jan but I don't know if I can make it until then. Any advice would be appreciated.
acrosstheuniverse Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 If it's bothering you this much already then I'm sorry to say, I don't think you're cut out for a long distance relationship. First relationships are often very intense and difficult to keep a lid on your feelings, making it extra hard to handle the distance. Three months is really not a long time at all, if you mean that that's when he moves back home? It's barely anything. However, if it's just three months until you see him again and then back to long distance, I'm not sure you believe your heart can handle it. Relationships are supposed to be fun, exhilarating, in the first stages. It sounds like you've only been together around four weeks? Two weeks of dating before he left isn't long to build up a base strong enough to withstand the distance. He will be picking up on your sadness and anxiety and it's not likely to make the relationship much fun for him either. Personally I'd recommend ending it on good terms as friends (you're not really THAT much more only four weeks in anyway) and looking for somebody closer to home. First relationships can make you feel nobody else in the world could ever be as perfect for you as this person, but take it from me and others who've been through several relationships: there's always somebody else amazing and compatible around the corner. He isn't the be all and end all. You can find somebody more compatible. 1
angel.eyes Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 I agree. If you want to try anyway, you're going to have to keep yourself busy and preoccupied. Join a team or sports league. Do something. You can't sit at home and mope. That will be the kiss of death on the relationship.
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