jcrew11 Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 I'm sure this has been discussed a lot, but do girls actually like getting "dressed up" to try to meet guys at bars. It seems like girls just generally hate the bar scene because the guys are players or drunks. Its low-quality men. I also hear complaints that women who spend hours "getting dolled up just to look like a stick of meat" at a bar, meaning a girl thinks all she has to do to 'attract men' or meet 'hot guys' is to just stand there and look good. Never mind a girl putting in the effort to approach a guy or talk to guys. Do women have this mindset, that they "just need to look pretty, and the guys should just flock to them?" It just seems like lazy dating. A girl can meet guys anywhere outside of bars. I think girls are too afraid or worried that society does not allow women to "make the first move." Anyways, I just wanted to know if girls liked the bar scene or preferred to meet guys through other ways?
jay1983 Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 They prefer more upscale bars. They don't approach guys because they don't need to. All they have to do is look good and sadly guys will flock to them. As for approaching, if they like a guy, they rather send signals, eye contact, flirts, stuff like that. I have a good looking friend, sometimes girls approach me only to ask me if he's single.
Phoe Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Nah, would never wanna meet a guy at a bar. Not my kind of thing
Phoe Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 They prefer more upscale bars. I personally prefer more low key bars. A sports bar or an Irish pub type place, where I can play pool or darts with friends, or watch a game. Upscale = Meh. No thanks.
hellon Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 I get "dressed up" because I like to. I go to bars to hang out with friends. I don't ever expect to meet a guy at a bar. I don't think it's an ideal place to meet someone you actually want to date (but every once in awhile, it happens. you just never know). So I can't speak for the girls who get dolled up supposedly for the sole purpose of attracting men, but evidently it works for them a lot of them. So yes, they have the mindset that they can just stand there and look pretty, because they don't need to put forth more effort. As far as not making the first move- it's not laziness, it's social conditioning.
Phoe Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 As far as getting dolled up goes, I dont. I dress normally. Jeans and a t shirt, normal everyday hair and light makeup.
jay1983 Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 I personally prefer more low key bars. A sports bar or an Irish pub type place, where I can play pool or darts with friends, or watch a game. Upscale = Meh. No thanks. That's cool, I like those places too. You can actually talk to somebody at neighborhood bars that aren't crowded, but guys usually out number girls at those places. At the upscale bars that are popular is usually where I see a better male to female ratio, it's crowded, people usually go in groups and are doing there own thing. 1
Supernatural Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Been to upscale bars where everyone was dressed up. expensive suits, expensive dresses, perfect hair. Saw old men talking up young good-looking women... Real housewives were there.. It was really awkward. The whole scene. It felt like people were playing dress up on Vicodin and cocaine, whilst holding a over-priced drink. I felt really out of place. I had a beer. I was out of place, but I would put money on it that I was one of the most real people there. Oh, I was the guy in an Iron Maiden Shirt, vintage fly-ass combat boots, ripped jeans and long messy bed-head hair looking at the art on the wall because it was more interesting than the people. Next time I think I'll head to Doolin's pub for a brew and a game of pool. People actually have blood in their veins in normal pubs. 1
Snakechammah Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Hmm... I was in one last night. An upscale bar/club/whaccamacallit that has a live band playing thingy and there were LOADS of GORGEOUS women sitting at the back of the club in bodycon dresses with awesome figures. Way to make me feel like a total loser, lol! But... these gorgeous girls were all ALONE. They were just sitting there, looking like Aprodite incarnate, and even though good-looking guys were all over the place, NONE of them approached the girls?? The poor (gorgeous) girls were sitting alone, totally ignored!! I found that strange so I asked one of my girlfriends, and she replied "Oh those are either trannies or prostitutes." Oh wow, though I look like a measly 4 compared to their 9, I felt tons better about myself!! But guys in clubs are not my thing. I'd rather meet them at the library or animal shelter, or heck, OLD, than bars and clubs. There's always something sleazy about the energy and I'd be disappointed if I meet my future husband in such an environment.
Diezel Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 I wouldn't attempt it. Most of the time they travel in packs so trying to inject myself into getting to know one of them is much akin to a giraffe wandering into a group of blood-thirsty lions.
mammasita Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Usually (I'm older of course) if I'm going to a nice club/bar it's because one of my girls has something going on (old friend in town, bDay, anniversary, holiday...etc). We don't go just to go, it's a planned outing with a group and we're usually dressed up. Otherwise, give me a hole in the wall low key no crowds local band type of place where I can hear you speak any day. Bottom line, depends on the age demographic. I think most younger "girls" like meat markets for that reason.....thinking they'll find a man, loving the attention....but for all the wrong reasons. 1
No Limit Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 The few times I went dressed up to a bar to meet guys I quickly saw that most guys there are drunk lowlives (at least in my area; NOT all). So I go to bars to have fun with friends instead. I'd rather bump into a guy and have him randomly write his number on my arm.
amaysngrace Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 I prefer beach bars where you can just walk right up off the beach and get a drink. They have live bands and everybody is almost naked so not too much dolling up to do...just a nice pedi
Michelle ma Belle Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 I've never really enjoyed the bar scene even when I was younger and that's what I was supposed to do. I mean I went and had a good enough time but it was never something I got excited about. Having said that there can be massive differences when it comes to the "bar" scene. There are those that are basically a meat market where women parade around like cattle waiting to be sold at an auction and those that are more relaxed and social where people can actually carry on a conversation, sometimes they even have live bands. I much prefer the latter for obvious reasons. Oh and I think there comes a point where men and women, if they're still doing the bar scene, need to seriously consider opting for bars that are age appropriate. There is nothing more disturbing than seeing a displaced creeper 1
quidproquo89 Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 as a guy, I find it near impossible to walk up to a complete stranger in a bar. I don't consider myself too shy or unconfident either. There's just something about it that is sooo awkward for everyone concerned. I haven't had a lot of luck with women in the past because of my shyness and lack of confidence. Even though I'm better now, I guess a part of me still prefers to get to know women in other scenarios
Els Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 I've always met guys through other ways than bars. But I don't see how your 'who does the approaching' argument is relevant to that. Guys ask women out in places other than bars, too.
Redhead14 Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 (edited) I posted something about this subject a little while ago. I do go to a very nice bar after work for dinner before I go home a couple of times a week. I don't go there to meet guys, however, I've been fortunate enough to be approached by several men there for my number and dates. I think it's really like anywhere else you might meet someone. It's about whether you hit it off with them enough to go out with them on a date. Even in "divey" kinda places you might meet someone who is nice and not a sleaze or anything. You can usually tell who is Ok and who is not. Just be careful and filter accordingly. I don't approach men often at all. Only one in fact that I just gave my business card to without being asked. He seemed to appreciate it, but never called. I see him there all the time, we are friends but he apparently doesn't want to date me. It's all good. A woman approaching a man is pretty much the same as a man approaching, in my opinion. They are going out on a limb and risking rejection, the same is true for a woman. Oh, and I should answer your question directly . . . as for girls liking to dress up and go to bars for that purpose . . . I can't say I do that or like that. However, a woman dressed to the nines going anywhere is more likely to be approached. If you are wanting to meet men and date, you should always look and smell good when you go anywhere Edited September 25, 2014 by Redhead14
d0nnivain Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 I liked going to bars to dance & hang out with my friends. I worked in all sorts of bars (neighborhood joints, fancier places, mid-range places & clubs) all through college & law school. The money was fantastic. I met my husband in a bar. My parents met in a bar. I do agree that the type of bar may have an effect on who you will meet there.
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