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OLD Question: Prefer no response, or rejection?

Kid_Charlemange

By Kid_Charlemange
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Kid_Charlemange Established Member

Kid_Charlemange

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A question for those who use OLD: If you send a message to a person, and they are not interested, would you prefer:

 

a) They just don't respond

 

b) They write back to say "no thanks."

 

I've only gotten a couple of b. One in particular stands out, because she basically said "Wow, what a great message and I love your profile. But I'm really picky about looks so no offense."

 

I guess I felt that was unnecessary... I feel that if any response is provided, it should just be a "thanks anyway" without being insulting, even obliquely. But maybe I'm wrong?

 

What say ye?

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irc333 Established Member

irc333

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Don't forget the, "If I don't answer, it means I wasn't interested." disclaimer they put at the bottom of their profile.

cif Established Member

cif

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What a person finds attractive is relative. So take to mean SHE didn't find you good looking not that you're not.

kolleamm Established Member

kolleamm

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OLD will destroy any self confidence you have left.

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BlueIris Established Member

BlueIris

Posted
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I prefer no response, or did back when I did OLD.

Michelle ma Belle Established Member

Michelle ma Belle

Posted
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I'm not currently online but when I was I personally appreciated when someone responded politely even if it was a rejection.

 

Having read other similar threads on the subject it would appear I'm in the minority but I just think it's polite. I always made a point of acknowledging someone's email or online advances even if I wasn't interested in pursuing anything further. Nine times out of ten those men would email me back letting me know how much they appreciated my reply since most don't and wished me the very best in my search.

 

It's good karma in my books :)

 

As far as the TMI response you received...yeah...a bit too much honesty. A simple "Thank you but I don't think we're a good match" would have been sufficient.

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Kid_Charlemange Established Member

Kid_Charlemange

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What a person finds attractive is relative. So take to mean SHE didn't find you good looking not that you're not.

 

I'm not offended -- I'm not good looking. Period, full stop.

 

But I thought it was a little rude of her to remind me of it; it's not like I didn't realize this before her message :)

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Kid_Charlemange Established Member

Kid_Charlemange

Posted
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Posted

 

As far as the TMI response you received...yeah...a bit too much honesty. A simple "Thank you but I don't think we're a good match" would have been sufficient.

 

Yeah... if at all, that would have done the trick, I think.

 

Her profile did not show her face. She had some text on there about liking to keep her business life and private life separate, or something to that effect. To be honest, the neck-down shots did not make her look like a swimsuit model either, but maybe she's got great looks. *Shrug* who knows -- I can't really be blamed for shooting above my league if I don't know what the hell she looks like, now can I? :)

  • Like 2
jay1983 Established Member

jay1983

Posted
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A lol I've only gotten a couples of B's too. One in particular, her profile said she's been in town for a couple of years and still didn't have any friends and at the bottom said, come on guys don't be shy. I messaged her, "where are you from" and in less than a minute got "sorry not my type" :eek:

 

I wrote her back "nobody's your type, you get kick out of rejecting guys, attention whore" she didn't write me back and the next day, deleted her long paragraph and wrote "just bored" :lmao:

jay1983 Established Member

jay1983

Posted
Posted
I'm not currently online but when I was I personally appreciated when someone responded politely even if it was a rejection.

 

Having read other similar threads on the subject it would appear I'm in the minority but I just think it's polite. I always made a point of acknowledging someone's email or online advances even if I wasn't interested in pursuing anything further. Nine times out of ten those men would email me back letting me know how much they appreciated my reply since most don't and wished me the very best in my search.

 

It's good karma in my books :)

 

As far as the TMI response you received...yeah...a bit too much honesty. A simple "Thank you but I don't think we're a good match" would have been sufficient.

 

Got one polite rejection and I just wrote her back "no worries"

OwMyEyeball Established Member

OwMyEyeball

Posted
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I prefer (a) though I've never gotten a (b). Either way I don't care. Online dating is absurd and something I've come to find amusing.

 

What you got in (b) was probably someone trying to be polite and honest.

 

A lot of people are confused about what's appropriate and what isn't these days. I wouldn't be surprised if she heard the advice "Guys like to hear things straightforward and honest" and went with that response believing it was proper.

Michelle ma Belle Established Member

Michelle ma Belle

Posted
Posted
Got one polite rejection and I just wrote her back "no worries"

 

Exactly.

 

NEXT! :p

Superman2024 Established Member

Superman2024

Posted
Posted
I'm not currently online but when I was I personally appreciated when someone responded politely even if it was a rejection.

 

Having read other similar threads on the subject it would appear I'm in the minority but I just think it's polite. I always made a point of acknowledging someone's email or online advances even if I wasn't interested in pursuing anything further. Nine times out of ten those men would email me back letting me know how much they appreciated my reply since most don't and wished me the very best in my search.

 

It's good karma in my books :)

 

As far as the TMI response you received...yeah...a bit too much honesty. A simple "Thank you but I don't think we're a good match" would have been sufficient.

 

 

Good for you Michelle. I definitely prefer women to acknowledge my messages, especially since I put effort into them. Unfortunately, virtually everyone plays the rude ignoring game. If a girl messages me I'll always say something nice whether I'm interested or not.

michellew Established Member

michellew

Posted
Posted
A lol I've only gotten a couples of B's too. One in particular, her profile said she's been in town for a couple of years and still didn't have any friends and at the bottom said, come on guys don't be shy. I messaged her, "where are you from" and in less than a minute got "sorry not my type" :eek:

 

I wrote her back "nobody's your type, you get kick out of rejecting guys, attention whore" she didn't write me back and the next day, deleted her long paragraph and wrote "just bored" :lmao:

 

Before Tinder, I used to politely say 'no thanks', but never told anyone they weren't my type. However, I'd still get angry replies like this(or persistence) when doing so. Not replying is much easier sometimes.

jay1983 Established Member

jay1983

Posted
Posted
Before Tinder, I used to politely say 'no thanks', but never told anyone they weren't my type. However, I'd still get angry replies like this(or persistence) when doing so. Not replying is much easier sometimes.

 

Wasn't an angry reply.

MissBee Established Member

MissBee

Posted
Posted

I prefer they don't respond.

 

Simple and easy and gets the point across without awkwardness.

 

I don't need you to explain why you don't want me...I don't know you...don't care....just leave it.

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