Jitsdude Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 I've seen plenty of info online about men who disappear on women instead of actually telling them that it's over. But there's next to nothing about when women do it. Well it just happened to me. We met over the summer and went out a few times. We didn't see each other for a while, at which point I have no problem with disappearing. You don't owe anyone anything after only a few dates. But she did tell me that she was working through issues with someone else that she had met earlier. After a month or so of no contact she got back in touch looking to start seeing me again. I ended up giving it a shot. It just so happened to be before she went on vacation, but we did see each other a few times before she left and we talked almost every day while she was gone. There was a lot of buildup to her coming back. It's when she got back that she disappeared. No contact whatsoever, doesn't answer her phone, doesn't respond to texts. It's been close to two weeks now. The only conclusion I can come to is that it's over and she's too chicken to tell me. True, we were never officially exclusive but she sure made it seem that it was headed in that direction. When she initially broke it off I was more or less fine with it, it was after we decided to continue seeing each other that I really started seeing us together. Her losing interest so suddenly is bad enough, but not even having the courtesy to tell me hurts like crazy. It was about 3 months beginning to end. I haven't tried to contact her in a few days, and when I did i tried to keep it light hearted - nothing more off-putting than whiny text messages. I haven't specifically asked for an explanation, although it seems obvious that that's implied. Am I being unreasonable here? Would anyone else just disappear in a situation like this? This girl is affecting me way more than she should
mightycpa Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Maybe she lost her phone and lost your contact info. I'm just guessing, I don't know. Have any other way of getting in touch with her?
Ecko08 Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 (edited) My (ex)fiancé, whom I was with for 6 years, disappeared. No explanation on why. No contact. Nothing. So, it does happen. Edited September 25, 2014 by Ecko08 Additional text
Author Jitsdude Posted September 25, 2014 Author Posted September 25, 2014 Maybe she lost her phone and lost your contact info. I'm just guessing, I don't know. Have any other way of getting in touch with her? Well, she did lose her passport for a while while she was away, so I suppose anything's possible...lol... But I doubt it. We talked on Whatsapp, and the last time I texted her she was online almost as soon as I hit send. No reply. I don't think it's too likely that someone stole her phone and is lurking on her Whatsapp. Besides, if she did lose her phone, she could still contact me without too much trouble - she knows where I work and the nature of my job makes me easy to find. To answer your question, I don't have any other way of contacting her. Well, other than dropping by her building unannounced and that's just a bad idea. I try to avoid stalking whenever I can help it. My (ex)fiancé, whom I was with for 6 years, disappeared. No explanation on why. No contact. Nothing. So, it does happen. Damn, that sucks. I hope you at least got some sort of closure through family and mutual friends.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 I would wager that she's met someone else or re-connected with an old flame. Whatever the reason, it's quite disrespectful to simply ignore someone and pretend they're not there. She's not quite the stand-up woman you thought she was, apparently. I'd consider it done and get back out there meeting new people again. Sorry this happened to you, OP.
angel.eyes Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Poor behavior, but we can't control others, and that includes how others choose to dump us. Rather than getting upset, look on the bright side. She didn't string you along for a year, and it's definitively clear that this is over...unlike Round 1.
Author Jitsdude Posted September 26, 2014 Author Posted September 26, 2014 I would wager that she's met someone else or re-connected with an old flame. Whatever the reason, it's quite disrespectful to simply ignore someone and pretend they're not there. She's not quite the stand-up woman you thought she was, apparently. I'd consider it done and get back out there meeting new people again. Sorry this happened to you, OP. You're probably right, as much as it sucks to think about her with someone else. Definitely not as honest as I thought she was, which is odd because before she was very straight forward about everything before. It's really tempting to contact her again and try to get an explanation out of her. Trying my best not to. The worst part is that there was so much leading up to seeing each other again. Everything she said to me while she was away was leading up to that. The timing of her disappearing couldn't have been worse, literally mid-conversation the day after she got back. I'll be the first to admit that I don't have enough confidence with women, even when I know they like me. I was pretty timid with her on our last couple dates when some assertiveness would have gone a long way. It's something I need to work on.
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