Ajen Posted September 24, 2014 Posted September 24, 2014 It's been a few months since me and my ex stopped seeing each other. We are in contact but its very limited and only through facebook, but I am finding myself cyber stalking him a little. I try hard not to do this but am finding it difficult especially when checking his instagram feed (I'm not on the site but know he is and his username ). I find myself checking on who is new friends are on facebook and when they are girls I'll look through their profiles and I feel a little upset when he likes a photo. I also came across apage heis a member of where random people share their BBM or whatspp details for any reason but I'm sure you can think of the reason I think he has joined. I know this is really stupid and I know that I should delete him from facebook and not check his instagram feed but I'm not ready to do this yet. The girls he adds seem the kind of girls that accept any one that adds them basically attention seeking girls but that doesn't help how I feel. I also feel like (and this might not be true) that he messages me from time to time to pull me back in but I could be over thinking this and he could just be being cordial. Basically I need some advise on how to distance myself from him, I know this will be really hard because he is on my facebook but I really need help of any kind. I don't want to be sucked back into anything with him unless he is serious and at the moment based on his facebook and instagram activity he doesn't seem serious.
Feelbettersoon Posted September 24, 2014 Posted September 24, 2014 I was like this too. It is slow self torture. I got the courage to delete him after 5 weeks and still snooped a tiny bit till I have now stopped! And it is so so so so much better not knowing what the ex is doing now
lop98 Posted September 24, 2014 Posted September 24, 2014 I was exactly like this... until on like to one girl then became one like from that girl, then multiple likes, then her tagging him with something like 'had fun tonight with X'. First date... which later became a series of dates, followed by 'found this at my boyfriend's!'. I was sitting there like a complete loser just watching him live his life, feeling pain each time, sometimes he would send me a breadcrumb and I'd rejoice in that... in small thoughts like he may be with her but not completely because he's texting other girls (aka me). It was a time after our BU that really took a toll on my self-esteem and over a year later I can tell you it's been the hardest part to overcome. I wasted a lot of months giving in to my weakness to snoop on social media and hurting myself when I should've tried harder and be completely selfish... focusing on nothing but looking ahead. Treat it like an addiction and combat it at all times... it really works like one and interferes with your chances to move on and heal. 1
Always Pondering Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Come on, you know better than to cyber stalk your ex. It's poisonous behavior and it'll only hurt you. If you're going to go No-Contact, you're going to have to delete him from your social media. Delete him, cease all contact, and block his page. Ultimately in the end it's going to come down to your willpower though because you can always unblock someone as well as just look someone up on Instagram without an account. Social media is just social media. The girls he adds on his account, the photos he "likes", his Instagram feed, and the fact that he hasn't deleted you from Facebook (I read your other thread) doesn't really mean anything that'll matter. It looks like you two tried the friends card, it didn't work out, and now you have your answer. Delete, block, move on. 1
Recommended Posts