ImSoLostWithoutYou Posted September 24, 2014 Posted September 24, 2014 Hi. A month ago my ex gf left me for unknown reasons. I was NC for almost a month. Yesterday since i felt pretty well for after a BU (feeling almost nothing) i decided that i should go visit her to give her a present from my mom for her birthday. So without her knowing i went to her place and texted her i'm outside. Firstly she didn't wanted to open the door but finally she let me in. She refused the gift and that is OK for me. She made coffee after all and we went for a chit chat. So i told her that in the past month i've figured out why she left me and stuff and i told her that i'm over her. At the end of the convo she was sad that i was over her so fast (what the ****?) and that my life seems better now and her's is not. Somehow we ended up having sex and out of the blue we decided that we can be FWB. So far so good. So i went home and felt pretty ****ty for only an hour and made the mistake to text her something funny actually. She replied that she agreed to be FWB because she only wanted sex without attachment. I said ok. Later she texted me again with totally different story that she was not only a piece of meat but a human being with feelings and stuff. I didn't reply to that. She proceed to send me a wall of texts till the 2 a.m. stating that she was feeling very low and me instead of helping her was making her feeling ever more down by the fact that i got over her for a month and she didn't. I decided to not be a total prick and surprised her this morning - i went to her place with pancakes for breakfast and we ate them. Then we cuddled for few good hours, ****ed again and had a nap. She asked me why was i hugging her and i asked her the same thing - she said that she felt that way. I answered the same. She told me a couple of times that we will not be together again and i told her that i do not want to. We proceed to have the best day ever with a walk in the park and stuff. At the end she said that we will be seeing each other again. Now she texted me that we should see each other only outside (like walking, drinking coffee and stuff) because she did not see any point of me going to her place again. Yet she said it was so sweet that i did it. It's funny how from "i do not want to see you ever again" she now wants to see me every now and then. It's funny also how from "do not touch me" she was cuddling with me because she "felt that way". Yes, in fact i did a lot of work on myself for that 1 month and i am completely different person, more "masculine" i would say. Edit: Oh boy... after she sent me that text she called me to make sure i got it but i didn't answer right away. I called her 1 minute after and told her i was in the bathroom and now she was in angry mode that she do not want to "play games", yadda yadda... I could see that hamster spinning it's wheel so hard on the way back to me. What do you guys think ? Since you know that non-verbal communication makes the most part of the interaction between people should i trust her body language or her words? Because she says she do not want to be with me yet her body can't lie to me and i feel that me is all she wants.
Dontfindme Posted September 24, 2014 Posted September 24, 2014 I don't see the purpose in what you guys are doing. If you want to eventually get hurt, or hurt her, this seems to be the way to go.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted September 24, 2014 Posted September 24, 2014 I think u played that well but there are a lot of games going on here x it's very push & pull! Not really healthy x
Magnet Posted September 24, 2014 Posted September 24, 2014 I've read some of your posts on your other thread. Seems as if this has been going on for a long time..... First of all, you really should not be going to her place- out of the blue you turn up at her place when you have been NC for nearly a month? You guys are broken up.... If you say that you feel almost nothing then why go to her house? Does your mother know you two have broken up? If your mother really wants to give a present to your ex then she can give it herself- or is it an excuse on your part to see your ex? Be honest with yourself. That isn't really healthy behaviour. You two have a really bad push-and-pull dynamic. It seems both of your self-esteem is really low. You can't let her go and so you get your way back in and she can't put her boundaries up, she WANTED to CLOSE the door, but you WOULDN'T TAKE NO for an answer, and she LET YOU IN. It's really hard to let it go, let it DROP, but trust me, when you do, you finally feel a huge release. You don't need her, man. But only you can realise this. You two were finally getting some space after one month of NC but you've now filled that space and it's back to square one. Want to know why you are gettting CONFLICTING signals? It's because her self-esteem is very low!!! Both of you are accepting unacceptable behaviour from each other. She treated you badly in the past and you are treating her badly by not letting her go!! My final piece of advice: Bite the bullet that you have never done. Never look back and discover a new horizon. GOOD LUCK MY FRIEND.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 24, 2014 Posted September 24, 2014 Do you like touching hot stoves or something?
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