She says she dosn't want anything serious, but she acts different or am I just dumb

[Spaart]

Okay, I somehow dug myself into this ****hole of a situation with this girl. We first hung out about 3 times, kinda like dates, wasn't till the 4th time that we had sex, and we'd hangout a lot whenever shes not busy, btw we hangout like all day and next day sometimes. She lives really far away about 45 minutes, she is actually the one that drives down to my place everytime, when she's not working or when shes close to her school. Anyway, its been like this for about 3 weeks, and honestly spending all this time with her made me really really like her, I think im falling in love because when she leaves I can't stop thinking about her. last week she told me she dosnt want anything serious. She loves sex, but I don't understand why she didn't just approach me from the beginning so we can be sex buddies, which I would of been fine with but instead we spent so much time together, I can tell she's genuinely happy when shes around with me, and so am I. We hold hands when we go out to eat, party etc we pretty much act like couples infront of others she also says she trusts me and she dosnt trust people much at all, but I don't know and it is killing me thinking that she's not going to be mine. I have a huge problem of thinking too much and getting easily attached. WHICH is why during the first 3 dates I never made any move, and shut my self off completely just to make sure I don't get this stupid feeling which drives me nuts. Now its too late, im falling for her. What do I do?

 

 

I really liked it when I was about me and had no girl in my life, I could care less, I go out hookup at parties and clubs all the time, no lies lol. I occasionally break some poor girls heart too but this girl really has gotten to be and made me realized something, that there is a void in my life and I really never thought of it before. **** I need expert advice. I hate dealing with relationships and uncertainties, I think too much and its all bad situations whenever I think too much, so it just pains me.

[quidproquo89]

sounds to me you can either except her as a friend with benefits or tell her you can't see her anymore if it is too much.

 

I'd think this through carefully though, you could be doing yourself a disservice either way.

 

Is there a reason why she doesn't want anything serious?

[yololin]

She likes the company. And the feeling of love etc, she's had that before. She's manufacturing it with you though. Sounds like she's in control. Not so much you sweeping her off her feet.

 

It's like 500 days of summer.

 

I think when I say i don't want anything serious, it means I don't want a future with that person. However. We still like each other.

 

To really get your head screwed on straight where it's supposed to be, you need to sleep with someone else too. Realise your bones is for everyone, not just for her. That is what she's thinking about her vagina.

[Emilia]

She has attachment issues like you OP. People with anxiety like yours tend to attract those that are similar. I say just ride it out, it can't get much worse can it so just stick around.

 

Don't listen to that negative c**p here about how she must be seeing someone else. Those people are all single because they don't trust.

[SJC2008]

Her actions dont equal her words. You're probably a reboubd. I was in the same situation a while back. I really started to like her and started to think she was warming up to being in a relationship but I was wrong.

[start at the end]

Your situation sounds very similar to my own.

 

There's a guy I've hung out with 4 times now who says he doesn't want anything serious. Our hang outs are all-day, multiple activity dates that sometimes go into the next day (no sex yet though). I've already met a number of his friends and he acts like we're dating in front of them and out in public...hand holding, little pecks. I'm trying to remain emotionless/unattached but I'm falling for him. It's frustrating.

 

Live for the moment and enjoy it I guess, yeah? Not much else we can do but end it.

[Spaart]

Thanks for some of the advice, I hate having this easily attached issue.

 

 

Would it be a good idea, for me to take a step back, kinda stop texting her or asking her to hangout and make it about me again? So maybe she will miss the attention I used to giver her?

[yololin]

Yes take a step back. One sided relations don't work. Take it back to a medium which the deal is most effective.

[Assasda]

YOU DO HAVE A VOID IN YOUR LIFE.

If you use this girl to fill it, she'll realize that she's filling your void and realize what a loser you are.

 

I say, handle your insecurities first, then be with the girl.

She'll love you for it in the end

[Spaart]

But what exactly are my insecurities? I don't even know? Is it because I don't trust people and always think the worst situation case? I have no clue how to get over those insecurities, please give me some advice.

 

 

 

 

Update, we've hung out some more recently, and she kept saying im the only guy shes seeing or whatever tell me not to worry etc, but idk

[Tayken]

She has attachment issues like you OP. People with anxiety like yours tend to attract those that are similar. I say just ride it out, it can't get much worse can it so just stick around.

 

Don't listen to that negative c**p here about how she must be seeing someone else. Those people are all single because they don't trust.

 

Wow...talk about being blunt