PinkInTheLimo Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 That's moderate expectation, I'd say. It's also consistent with the point I'm making... that women just can't separate the money/lifestyle issue from the whole thing, whereas men typically don't look at women and say, nope- disqualified because she only earns half of what I do and that would require compromise. Many women are looking for a man who can provide a significantly better lifestyle than she can attain herself, and others have the attitude that they're being liberal and progressive by not expecting a major upgrade. But you just don't find attractive, intelligent women who say it's all about character, attraction and relationship compatibility and money doesn't really matter. Of course this isn't anything new––it's the same as it has been for many thousands of years. The vast majority of women are focused on a small percentage of men in top tier of the socioeconomic stratum (based on their perceived sexual attractiveness quotient), and men are just happy to find a mate who is reasonably attractive, relatively sane, treats them well and will make a good, reliable companion. Money does matter, period. Money is one of the reasons why people divorce. You talk about relationship compatibility but money is exactly one of the elements of such compatibility. And it also says something about someone's character because there are people out there who prefer a bohemian lifestyle and prefer to just earn enough to travel and have a lot of free time, and then there are those who feel better actually owning things and have more financial security and devote their time to working hard on getting that. Both these lifestyles are OK but I would not feel secure at all with a man like that, plus I would feel that I would have to support him financially, which I don't want to do. You can simply not make abstraction from the role of money in relationships. Character and attraction are not things which exist on their own, this is all related and it is the total package which is attractive. If a man would choose me because I am "reasonably attractive, relatively sane, treats them well and will make a good, reliable companion." I would feel insulted because it would sound as if I am totally replacable by some other reasonably attractive, relatively sane, etc... woman. Where would the uniqueness be which really makes you love someone? As for men not finding the income of their woman important, I think they'd better pay attention to it because it can make a considerable difference in their chances for happiness. If a man marries a woman who does not earn a lot of money and wants to become a SAHM, he risks to lose a lot of money if it ever gets to a divorce. If a man marries a woman who is financially independent, chances are he will be a lot richer because of his marriage than that he had married a woman who was not financially independent. And of course money is not the only thing that makes one happy or unhappy but I have personally found that it certainly helps to feel happy and secure. I have lived from social welfare in the beginning of my twenties and the chronic shortage of money I had then, created a lot of stress.
Tayken Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 Money does matter, period. Money is one of the reasons why people divorce. You talk about relationship compatibility but money is exactly one of the elements of such compatibility. And it also says something about someone's character because there are people out there who prefer a bohemian lifestyle and prefer to just earn enough to travel and have a lot of free time, and then there are those who feel better actually owning things and have more financial security and devote their time to working hard on getting that. Both these lifestyles are OK but I would not feel secure at all with a man like that, plus I would feel that I would have to support him financially, which I don't want to do. You can simply not make abstraction from the role of money in relationships. Character and attraction are not things which exist on their own, this is all related and it is the total package which is attractive. If a man would choose me because I am "reasonably attractive, relatively sane, treats them well and will make a good, reliable companion." I would feel insulted because it would sound as if I am totally replacable by some other reasonably attractive, relatively sane, etc... woman. Where would the uniqueness be which really makes you love someone? As for men not finding the income of their woman important, I think they'd better pay attention to it because it can make a considerable difference in their chances for happiness. If a man marries a woman who does not earn a lot of money and wants to become a SAHM, he risks to lose a lot of money if it ever gets to a divorce. If a man marries a woman who is financially independent, chances are he will be a lot richer because of his marriage than that he had married a woman who was not financially independent. And of course money is not the only thing that makes one happy or unhappy but I have personally found that it certainly helps to feel happy and secure. I have lived from social welfare in the beginning of my twenties and the chronic shortage of money I had then, created a lot of stress. BOLD 1: You are absolutely right with this comment, and I find it's mostly the uneducated men that don't consider this, or the wealthy ones looking for a trophy wife. You are bang on about the happiness point as well. Bold 2: True again. Knowing how the family court (as it relates to kids) works, and how it deals with divorce and the splitting of belongings, it will always be advisable for someone male or female to make sure they find someone that earns the same as them or close to them. Large disparity in income is NOT a good thing, and can come back to bite you in the bum. Those of you in the US am sure know how each state alimony rules work? It's no different to Canada, and places in Europe or Australia and NZ. There are a lot of men that have found themselves in a situation where their wife just flat out told them they are not going back to work i.e. unilateral decision. How do you deal with this?
carhill Posted September 28, 2014 Posted September 28, 2014 They were second hand tyres in good condition, still generous though. & Just because someone makes one many nice gestures doesn't mean they won't turn out to be a jerk.. People are their actions and the one action mentioned here was a generous one. Didn't see any buts so went with the real. One other real aspect is the 50's woman in OLD be more likely to meet men who are very experienced with women, in nearly all the ways a man can be experienced with women. Good, bad and ugly. Real.
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