TigerLilly78 Posted September 23, 2014 Posted September 23, 2014 let me say first I think this is more of a rant then anything else..I recently moved in with a new partner. I was living out of state and he came and helped me move up near him. We are staying in his family home until we find a place of our own. Now here is were things get messed up there are over ten adults living in this house yet my partner is the one of the few working and the only one other then his mother who contribute to the bills! So this means he pays more then half the rent on the "family" home plus on top of this they all come to him for anything else they need or want. Why work when Tigers partner will foot our bills and cover anything else we may want on a whim basically! That said since this has been the set up for so long they have become use to and comfortable with this. And my partner is having a hard time coming up with his end of the moneys to move as a result. So recently the last few weeks we have dicided he needs to stand his ground and tell them hes moving out and tell his mom he cant continue carrying everyone! Since he told her that he basically wont be their ATM any longer things in the house have gotten more stressful. People who were nice to me when I first got here are less friendly in general lately and I think my welcome is wearing off due to my motivating him not to allow them to use him as much as they do. We have a application in on a nice place hopefully we will get it and be able to leave here soon then they will ether have to work or start paying or lose their house I guess I dunno. But it just sucks the situation in general and how long its been going on.. The extent they have used him is ridiculous even the deposit for the family home is his money all of it! while we struggle to get one together of our own rant over... *sigh*
d0nnivain Posted September 23, 2014 Posted September 23, 2014 Only he can put a stop to this. You have to bite your tongue & keep looking for a new place.
Author TigerLilly78 Posted September 23, 2014 Author Posted September 23, 2014 Only he can put a stop to this. You have to bite your tongue & keep looking for a new place. Oh I haven't said a word to the family but I have to him I have to if we ever want to move he knows its a prob and hes not happy with it. But up until now hes been going along cause he didn't want to be homeless or have any of the utilities switched off. Case in point his mom came to him last week asking for 300 more dollars on top of the 600-700 he already puts in because the electric is behind and its going to be switched off supposedly. In the mean time his step dad sits home doesn't work yet is well enough to go hunting! I don't understand this mindset his mom had the balls to ask my partner if he really wanted to move out hes 36! isn't a mom suppose to support her children in life and not use them..ugh its infuriating..
xxoo Posted September 23, 2014 Posted September 23, 2014 You will save yourself a lot of frustration if you accept early on that this is your partner's doing as much as anyone. Why didn't he move out ages ago?
Gloria25 Posted September 23, 2014 Posted September 23, 2014 (edited) I'm not sure if he was contributing so much cuz he felt guilty that you guys were living there.... Maybe time will tell to see if he really is their ATM or he just gave them a lot of money cuz you guys were living there... That's what sometimes suck about living with parents...In my case, I lived with my parents till I was like 21 and READY to go, I just couldn't save enough to get my own place cuz they wanted to lean on me soooo much - while my other sisters, their husbands, and kids just sat back and didn't give a thing. Worst, my sisters - although they were "married", would break into my room and use my stuff. They and their "husbands" didn't even help me with the chores around the house. Did my parents care? Nope, they just leaned on who they knew was reliable (me). THEN, my dad would lock me out if I came home "too late" for him (I would come home late cuz I couldn't stand living in the drama of that place). So, you pay them all this money - yet you have no privileges. For that, you get your own place So, until you get another place, you live by their rules Edited September 23, 2014 by Gloria25
Author TigerLilly78 Posted September 23, 2014 Author Posted September 23, 2014 You will save yourself a lot of frustration if you accept early on that this is your partner's doing as much as anyone. Why didn't he move out ages ago? Oh I know it is ive talked to him about it and he knows its a prob he was going to move out but his family lied to him when they moved into this place and said everyone would be sharing everything he had his own place lined up but they guilted him into paying the deposits here it sounds like.. I'm not sure if he was contributing so much cuz he felt guilty that you guys were living there.... Maybe time will tell to see if he really is their ATM or he just gave them a lot of money cuz you guys were living there... That's what sometimes suck about living with parents...In my case, I lived with my parents till I was like 21 and READY to go, I just couldn't save enough to get my own place cuz they wanted to lean on me soooo much - while my other sisters, their husbands, and kids just sat back and didn't give a thing. Worst, my sisters - although they were "married", would break into my room and use my stuff. They and their "husbands" didn't even help me with the chores around the house. Did my parents care? Nope, they just leaned on who they knew was reliable (me). THEN, my dad would lock me out if I came home "too late" for him (I would come home late cuz I couldn't stand living in the drama of that place). So, you pay them all this money - yet you have no privileges. For that, you get your own place So, until you get another place, you live by their rules Yep this is kind of the situation except other then money mooching they are pretty laid back thank god for now! We have no probs living by anyone's rules heck he stays in his room 24/7 me too they barely know we are here. Oh this was happening way before I even met him yet alone moved in. Ive since started to help my partner out were ever he will let me IE I buy him stuff he wants but cant afford and so on. I don't mind cause I know we are getting out of this situation soon he just needed some one to give him a little encouragement and support that he deserves to be happy as well...
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