Atticus9292012 Posted September 23, 2014 Posted September 23, 2014 I have a former love interest that is now just a friend. We have dated other people since and we both know this. We also have a lot of mutual friends. On Saturday I had a party at my house and I mass invited friends of ours, which he was included in. Even when i invited him I told him he could bring a date...and he said "oh I'll just bring a friend." I really didn't expect him to show up given our history and the fact that he supposedly is dating someone else (which he will neither confirm nor deny to me). Well, he did in fact show up with a buddy of his. His buddy leaves after only about an hour. My friend stays. He knew everyone at my house so not knowing anyone wouldn't explain this....but he literally followed me around my house like a lost puppy. A couple of times I went into my room and he'd follow me in there and shut the door behind him. I kept thinking he was going to initiate something, but he never did. I went into my bathroom once and I came out and he was on my bed. I asked him if he was okay (we'd been drinking) so I thought maybe he had a little too much. He said "no, just comfy." I walked out of my room back where the rest of my guests were. He stayed all night and was the last person to leave. The entire night he kept getting me drinks and offered to help me with whatever I needed. At one point we were sitting next to each other on my couch and he showed me pictures of a hiking trip he went on recently. He was showing me pictures of him and suddenly he'd get to a picture of a girl or him and a girl and he'd pull his phone close to him so I couldn't see. He also made a lengthy phone call outside. I asked who he went on the trip with and he said just a friend. I have always been attracted to this guy, but honestly I really just want to be his friend. I genuinely enjoy his company. I was recently invited to a birthday party of a mutual friend of ours in a town an hour away and considered asking him to go with me. I am just worried he is going to expect something or was expecting something to happen Saturday based on his behavior. Am I reading too much into this? I just typed a post and it's gone!!! So I posted the above a few weeks ago. I kind of dismissed the way my friend acted above because he's never reached out or anything. Well, some things happened this weekend that really have me wondering. On Thursday, I was out running. The guy above ran past me. I didn't see him at first, but he yelled my name and waived. We exchanged a long waive/smile. I am surprised he didn't run into something that's how long it lasted. Anyway, I go to a bar I frequent for happy hour on Friday where I ironically met the guy above. He was there and several of our friends were there. He teased me about purposefully not acknowledging him the day before. I seriously didn't, but he kept teasing. He eventually dropped it. We were all sitting outside on the patio. I overhear him tell some other people about this girl he's seeing. I finally ask him if he's gonna tell me about her. He finally admits to seeing someone, but kind of belittles it. Says he misses dating around and makes some strange comment about how he hasn't called her that day and needs space. He starts asking me whether I dated a guy we know (he had asked other people about it too on a prior occasion). I admitted that we dated and asks about whether I had dated anyone else and I admitted to some dud first dates. The conversation goes all over the place. We discuss hanging out later. I had dinner plans and left to meet my friends. After dinner, I texted him asking him what he was up to. He responded weirdly that he was getting food and thinking of me....I asked him if he still wanted to hang out. He eventually comes over. He walked to my house and was here for 2 hours. We just sat and talked outside and it was a nice night. It was kind of nice to connect like that. If I accidentally touched his hand or anything, he'd linger. He mentioned leaving and lingered for a good 20 minutes After he said it. We went inside and asked me all about my son and he played with my dog some. I used to do art and showed him some of my artwork. It was 1am so we were tired. He eventually walks home. I made sure he got home okay and that was our last communication. I keep replaying everything in my head. Part of me wishes he had initiated something but two big problems. 1) girl he is seeing...didn't call her girlfriend but I still feel weird initiating anything knowing that is happening. 2) he ended things between us before because he "wasn't ready"....I feel like if he missed me he'd reach out. Some of my friends think I should express my interest...I don't want to be rejected especially since he ended things before. I don't want an opportunity to pass and I have regret. We do have a lot of chemistry. Any thoughts?
heartshaped Posted September 23, 2014 Posted September 23, 2014 Thoughts? Guy wants to cheat on girlfriend with you + apparently you're a willing participant. He said he misses "dating around" not you, he told you he wasn't "ready" before, and he's downplaying whatever is going on with this girl to you. He sounds like the player type and I'd be more than a little hesitant of even continuing a friendship with this guy.
Author Atticus9292012 Posted September 23, 2014 Author Posted September 23, 2014 I'm not willing to participate in cheating. Not at all.
Author Atticus9292012 Posted September 23, 2014 Author Posted September 23, 2014 I also don't think he'd cheat on someone. We have talked a lot about past relationships and a girl did that to him and he talked about how awful it was. He has also talked about my exhusband being a jerk for cheating on me. I get the impression he is not sure about this girl....but that could all be a show for me.
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