2.50 a gallon Posted September 23, 2014 Posted September 23, 2014 There is an art to good conversation. First become a great listener, people like to talk about themselves and their lives. Don't interview her like was mentioned a job application. Ask her about her life, her pets. Let her tell you all about the antics of her cat Banzai. Where did she go to school, what kind of music does she like, movies, what kinds of foods does she like, Mexican, Italian, Thai. I've never tried Thai, what's it like? Hot, spicy? Can you recommend a good place to try Thai food? Just go with the flow. If you learn to listen, she will tell you how to seduce her.
Mr Scorpio Posted September 23, 2014 Posted September 23, 2014 Chemistry is overrated as far as I'm concerned. You either like someone or you don't. Maybe? Back in my youth we would say "yeah I know you like him/her, but do you like em like em?" There is a difference between getting along with someone, and having someone who makes your heart skip a beat when they enter a room. Who brightens up your day just with a smile or a laugh or a wink. 1
Emilia Posted September 23, 2014 Posted September 23, 2014 You create chemistry by flirting. Successful flirting relies on your ability of working out what turns on the other person. Somewhat easier when you have been seeing them for a while as people tend to show their more sexual side then. Once he shows me what his thing is, I tease with that mercilessly and he bites each time of course. That's how we maintain sexual tension and chemistry long term. Creating it is harder if it isn't there from the start. It needs to be on a primal level, you have to know what makes her tick.
Trane Posted September 23, 2014 Posted September 23, 2014 You create chemistry by flirting. Successful flirting relies on your ability of working out what turns on the other person. Somewhat easier when you have been seeing them for a while as people tend to show their more sexual side then. Once he shows me what his thing is, I tease with that mercilessly and he bites each time of course. That's how we maintain sexual tension and chemistry long term. Creating it is harder if it isn't there from the start. It needs to be on a primal level, you have to know what makes her tick. I don't get the flirting and chemistry thing. I always thought that if two people liked each other, shared the same views but have their differences and are in general very stimulated by each other, that's is supposedly what chemistry is. Sounds like alchemy to me when you think about it.
Author quidproquo89 Posted September 23, 2014 Author Posted September 23, 2014 as aforementioned I am so reserved and formal when I meet new people that no matter how much interest I show in the other person and listen and ask open ended questions - I can appear boring or unattractive. Its how I am I cant be bold and very funny when I meet people. I guess its up to the other person to look past that right?
Tayken Posted September 23, 2014 Posted September 23, 2014 @OP, of course it can Fe + Cl2 = FeCl3KMnO4 + HCl = KCl + MnCl2 + H2O + Cl2K4Fe(CN)6 + H2SO4 + H2O = K2SO4 + FeSO4 + (NH4)2SO4 + COC6H5COOH + O2 = CO2 + H2OK4Fe(CN)6 + KMnO4 + H2SO4 = KHSO4 + Fe2(SO4)3 + MnSO4 + HNO3 + CO2 + H2OCr2O7{-2} + H{+} + {-} = Cr{+3} + H2OS{-2} + I2 = I{-} + SPhCH3 + KMnO4 + H2SO4 = PhCOOH + K2SO4 + MnSO4 + H2OCuSO4*5H2O = CuSO4 + H2Ocalcium hydroxide + carbon dioxide = calcium carbonate + watersulfur + ozone = sulfur dioxide Unless of course you mean "spark" Chevrolet Spark Road Tax Band | New Chevrolet Spark Car Tax Band 1
Author quidproquo89 Posted September 23, 2014 Author Posted September 23, 2014 @OP, of course it can Fe + Cl2 = FeCl3KMnO4 + HCl = KCl + MnCl2 + H2O + Cl2K4Fe(CN)6 + H2SO4 + H2O = K2SO4 + FeSO4 + (NH4)2SO4 + COC6H5COOH + O2 = CO2 + H2OK4Fe(CN)6 + KMnO4 + H2SO4 = KHSO4 + Fe2(SO4)3 + MnSO4 + HNO3 + CO2 + H2OCr2O7{-2} + H{+} + {-} = Cr{+3} + H2OS{-2} + I2 = I{-} + SPhCH3 + KMnO4 + H2SO4 = PhCOOH + K2SO4 + MnSO4 + H2OCuSO4*5H2O = CuSO4 + H2Ocalcium hydroxide + carbon dioxide = calcium carbonate + watersulfur + ozone = sulfur dioxideUnless of course you mean "spark" Chevrolet Spark Road Tax Band | New Chevrolet Spark Car Tax Band cheeky beggar
Tayken Posted September 23, 2014 Posted September 23, 2014 cheeky beggar Oi Oi.....innit. I'll take that over things my ex has called me 1
Got it Posted September 24, 2014 Posted September 24, 2014 OP - Do you think it is also the girls you are going after that may be setting yourself up for failure? Are you sticking to a specific type or dating many different types? Are you comfortable in your own skin? I think trying to actively date to find someone is very difficult. Maybe join meet up groups where it is centered around an activity that everything is there to do but also open to dating. It allows everyone to concentrate on something else while getting to know each other. If really serious about this and want to put some money behind it, contacting a matchmaker. That way they will give you feedback on yourself as well as setting you up to meet others they think you will have a strong connection with.
2.50 a gallon Posted September 24, 2014 Posted September 24, 2014 The art of conversation can be self taught, it just takes practice. You can practice with the cash register gal in the check out line. They get bored with "Did you find everything OK? How's your day so far," etc. Be courteous and talk to them. 1
Author quidproquo89 Posted September 24, 2014 Author Posted September 24, 2014 OP - Do you think it is also the girls you are going after that may be setting yourself up for failure? Are you sticking to a specific type or dating many different types? Are you comfortable in your own skin? I think trying to actively date to find someone is very difficult. Maybe join meet up groups where it is centered around an activity that everything is there to do but also open to dating. It allows everyone to concentrate on something else while getting to know each other. If really serious about this and want to put some money behind it, contacting a matchmaker. That way they will give you feedback on yourself as well as setting you up to meet others they think you will have a strong connection with. didn't even know there was such a thing as a matchmaker. I try to find common minded people or sometimes I date those who approach me, it will happen eventually I hope. I would prefer meet up groups to go with a friend, but that is an option. Thanks
Emilia Posted September 24, 2014 Posted September 24, 2014 I don't get the flirting and chemistry thing. I always thought that if two people liked each other, shared the same views but have their differences and are in general very stimulated by each other, that's is supposedly what chemistry is. Sounds like alchemy to me when you think about it. Of course you don't get it. That would require emotions and intuition, not logic and rational explanation.
2.50 a gallon Posted September 24, 2014 Posted September 24, 2014 How good can you cook? When my Ex and I broke up, I was devastated. In order to get my life back under control, I got deeply back into my hobbies. I was already a fairly good cook, I could make gravy from scratch and my married sister could not. Then one day I spotted a gourmet cookbook in the half price section and bought it. I figured if I could learn to cook some gourmet meals it would increase my chances in the dating world. A side benefit was that they took a little more time than hamburger helper to prepare, which means it kept me busy, and I ended up with a fantastic meal to eat. As for the dating world, it was a definite improvement. Yes I had them coming back for more.
Author quidproquo89 Posted September 24, 2014 Author Posted September 24, 2014 I did a lot of running, exercise and a bit of weight lifting to get over a woman
2.50 a gallon Posted September 24, 2014 Posted September 24, 2014 I baked Christmas cookies. The Ex & I were married over the holidays. After we broke up I had to finish out the lease, then moved into a large apartment complex of almost all singles. I had only lived there a month and met just a few neighbors by Thanksgiving. That is when the memories started to get to me. By luck when moving I found a bag of old cookie cutters my mom had given us. So in order to keep busy over the turkey holiday, other than football, I decided to bake some cut out cookies, and then spent the weekend decorating them to the ninth degree. They were an instant hit with my new neighbors, and I had several offers to help the next time I baked them. I didn't realize it but I had just hit a gold mine. I baked 3 to 4 more batches and each time I had a new helper. And they always brought some of their cutters, and with a little wine, it was like being back as kids. And don't forget there are also cutters for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Easter. Over the next 15 years, I lost count of the number of times baking cookies got me laid. 1
Author quidproquo89 Posted September 24, 2014 Author Posted September 24, 2014 I baked Christmas cookies. The Ex & I were married over the holidays. After we broke up I had to finish out the lease, then moved into a large apartment complex of almost all singles. I had only lived there a month and met just a few neighbors by Thanksgiving. That is when the memories started to get to me. By luck when moving I found a bag of old cookie cutters my mom had given us. So in order to keep busy over the turkey holiday, other than football, I decided to bake some cut out cookies, and then spent the weekend decorating them to the ninth degree. They were an instant hit with my new neighbors, and I had several offers to help the next time I baked them. I didn't realize it but I had just hit a gold mine. I baked 3 to 4 more batches and each time I had a new helper. And they always brought some of their cutters, and with a little wine, it was like being back as kids. And don't forget there are also cutters for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Easter. Over the next 15 years, I lost count of the number of times baking cookies got me laid. that sounds really great. Good for you. So where did you learn to cook?
Tayken Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 I baked Christmas cookies. The Ex & I were married over the holidays. After we broke up I had to finish out the lease, then moved into a large apartment complex of almost all singles. I had only lived there a month and met just a few neighbors by Thanksgiving. That is when the memories started to get to me. By luck when moving I found a bag of old cookie cutters my mom had given us. So in order to keep busy over the turkey holiday, other than football, I decided to bake some cut out cookies, and then spent the weekend decorating them to the ninth degree. They were an instant hit with my new neighbors, and I had several offers to help the next time I baked them. I didn't realize it but I had just hit a gold mine. I baked 3 to 4 more batches and each time I had a new helper. And they always brought some of their cutters, and with a little wine, it was like being back as kids. And don't forget there are also cutters for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Easter. Over the next 15 years, I lost count of the number of times baking cookies got me laid. Wow.....talk about a smooth operator, this is right up there with helping a neighbour to mow their lawn. Double entendre' perhaps
NYWoman Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Sounds like a fun evening to me. Where were guys like you when I was younger?
2.50 a gallon Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 OP, anyone can follow the instructions in a recipe book Just lost a large post might try later 1
Cristo Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 The thing that you have to realize about chemistry is that it's mostly BS. It's basically the word that women use when they are physically attracted to a guy and also like his personality. It's not a magic otherworldly phenomenon or anything crazy like that lol. So, yes, it absolutely can be created over time. 1
Author quidproquo89 Posted September 25, 2014 Author Posted September 25, 2014 The thing that you have to realize about chemistry is that it's mostly BS. It's basically the word that women use when they are physically attracted to a guy and also like his personality. It's not a magic otherworldly phenomenon or anything crazy like that lol. So, yes, it absolutely can be created over time. who else agrees with this?
2.50 a gallon Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 When I was 27 I met a girl who worked at the local sporting goods store. She was a dead ringer for a young Sofia Loren, and for me it was love at first sight. Naturally I tried to get a date, but with no luck. Normally when turned down, I walked away but this time I persisted. Over the next 3 months she turned me down about half a dozen times. She flat told me to give it up as I was too old (me 27, her 22), too short, too poor (I am a T-shirt and blue jeans guy, she liked her men to wear suits), and too white, (she was Hispanic) and only dated Hispanic men. Then one Wednesday we were told to take the next day off, so I stopped by her store for a supply of worms in order to use my day off fishing. As she was ringing me up, I gave it one last shot and asked her if she wanted to go fishing with me the next day. I was shocked to hear her say yes. She had never been fishing, wanted to try it, knew that I was a good fisherman and she had never been to the river and being as she had the day off too, figured it was a great way to improve her tan. What I did not know was she was dating 2 main guys, #1, was a business man she had been seeing for almost a year. Being a good catholic girl they had had sex only a few times. #2, was a new guy she had just began dating a few month back. He was the son of a local politician and was taking her out that next Saturday night to a big fancy ball for the off spring of the local big wigs. And she had already decided #2 was probably going to get lucking Saturday night. On the way to the river she reminded me several times, we would never be BF and GF, as she was just not attracted to me, because of the number of Toos, By luck I did everything right that day. We caught fish, I built her first campfire and cooked hot dogs. When she stripped down to swim suit and went for a swim I joined it, and we horse played in the water, I was even so bold as when I got a chance I stole my first kiss. That ended the water games as she got on her towel to catch some rays. The rest of the afternoon we spent talking, I had to listen all about her boy friends. And later we took her first nature hike along the river edge where she was able to check out the plants, the baby fish and her first tadpoles. When we went back to fishing, we again caught fish, and this time she said that she wanted to eat the fish she had caught. And agreed to go back to my place for a fish fry. When we got back to the car, she surprised me by kissing me, and it was no short one. At my place we fried up the fish, and drank a bottle of wine, more kissing, which lead to the bedroom and me taking her home about midnight. On the way home that night, I felt that I at least still had a outside shot at this ladies heart. Shortly after 5 the next afternoon, I was surprised to find her standing at my front door with a hot pizza in hand. Wanting a repeat of last nights loving. She had broken off her date with #1 and he had been told he was history. And with my permission she went out with #2 one last time, her chance to play Cinderella and then he was history also.
Cristo Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 When I was 27 I met a girl who worked at the local sporting goods store. She was a dead ringer for a young Sofia Loren, and for me it was love at first sight. Naturally I tried to get a date, but with no luck. Normally when turned down, I walked away but this time I persisted. Over the next 3 months she turned me down about half a dozen times. She flat told me to give it up as I was too old (me 27, her 22), too short, too poor (I am a T-shirt and blue jeans guy, she liked her men to wear suits), and too white, (she was Hispanic) and only dated Hispanic men. Then one Wednesday we were told to take the next day off, so I stopped by her store for a supply of worms in order to use my day off fishing. As she was ringing me up, I gave it one last shot and asked her if she wanted to go fishing with me the next day. I was shocked to hear her say yes. She had never been fishing, wanted to try it, knew that I was a good fisherman and she had never been to the river and being as she had the day off too, figured it was a great way to improve her tan. What I did not know was she was dating 2 main guys, #1, was a business man she had been seeing for almost a year. Being a good catholic girl they had had sex only a few times. #2, was a new guy she had just began dating a few month back. He was the son of a local politician and was taking her out that next Saturday night to a big fancy ball for the off spring of the local big wigs. And she had already decided #2 was probably going to get lucking Saturday night. On the way to the river she reminded me several times, we would never be BF and GF, as she was just not attracted to me, because of the number of Toos, By luck I did everything right that day. We caught fish, I built her first campfire and cooked hot dogs. When she stripped down to swim suit and went for a swim I joined it, and we horse played in the water, I was even so bold as when I got a chance I stole my first kiss. That ended the water games as she got on her towel to catch some rays. The rest of the afternoon we spent talking, I had to listen all about her boy friends. And later we took her first nature hike along the river edge where she was able to check out the plants, the baby fish and her first tadpoles. When we went back to fishing, we again caught fish, and this time she said that she wanted to eat the fish she had caught. And agreed to go back to my place for a fish fry. When we got back to the car, she surprised me by kissing me, and it was no short one. At my place we fried up the fish, and drank a bottle of wine, more kissing, which lead to the bedroom and me taking her home about midnight. On the way home that night, I felt that I at least still had a outside shot at this ladies heart. Shortly after 5 the next afternoon, I was surprised to find her standing at my front door with a hot pizza in hand. Wanting a repeat of last nights loving. She had broken off her date with #1 and he had been told he was history. And with my permission she went out with #2 one last time, her chance to play Cinderella and then he was history also. How did this work out for you in the end? She sounds like a princess and a pain in the a** to me. She must have been VERY hot for you allow this kind of behavior.
2.50 a gallon Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Years later, at a party at Berkley, I would meet a professor who studied "Love Chemicals" who was able to explain the quick turn around First off the river is romantic place to begin with, and this being her first time made it all that much more romantic. That started her body to begin producing those love chemicals, then catching fish, the camp fire, the walk, more love chemicals, began to flood her brain. The horse play in the water, I showed off my masculinity and being so bold to steal a kiss, and us sitting and talking, added to the stew. Then having a night of great sex, and her body upped the production of the love chemicals, and her brain was overwhelmed with love chemicals, and whether she liked it or not, she was falling in love with me. She was like a drug addict and the only source for her drug was me. On Wednesday she was not attracted to me, a little more than 24 hours later she was falling in love with me, that is the power of love chemicals. We ended up getting engaged, but the too white was our down fall, as her older sister, did not want her younger sister marrying a non-Hispanic and eventually us breaking up about 3 years later.
2.50 a gallon Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 (edited) For me she is the one who got away. She was a fantastic woman. Once she fell in love with me, I was her man. Very easy to get along with, she was not the demanding type and very giving. Our first Christmas together, she shocked me with a room full of gifts. New Clothes, new hiking boots, new rod and real, new tackle box, filled with all kinds of new spinners and lures. We spent a lot of out time outdoors, many trips to the river and the mountains for trout fishing. Trips out of state to through out most of the Rockies front range, Colorado Wyoming, New Mexico. She was a fantastic lover, there were a few times, when after hours of loving I found myself on the floor crawling for the door, begging for mercy. The too white only came from her older sister. Her mom loved the song "Blue Spanish Eyes" and being as I have blue eyes, let us know she wanted a grand daughter with blue eyes. But her sister, just would not let up and trying the break us up. Until that conflict was resolved, I refused to set a date for the wedding. After being engaged for over two years, and me still refusing to set a date, she finally told me good bye. Forty years later there is still a part of me that wishes we had been able to make it work. Edited September 25, 2014 by 2.50 a gallon
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