TazzieDomo Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 He cheated on me twice with a girl I will call D both times HE initiated it and it was a very graphic sexual and long talk, apparently this was happening over the internet while he was also talking to me. The main issue here is we were discussing having kids and even talked about names we would like, he also talked to her about having a son with her. I feel sick and vomit when I think about it but I honestly love him that much hasn't changed. What do I do about these feelings I really feel completely betrayed and hurt and I have no idea what to do about this deep pain that's cutting at me.
PegNosePete Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 What ground rules have you laid out to prevent this happening again? What consequences has he felt for his actions?
Author TazzieDomo Posted September 22, 2014 Author Posted September 22, 2014 I know he has felt very very bad he seems very regretful and is still very depressed over it as am I. I have told him I have 0 tolerance over anything of that nature and if it happens again even if we are married with kids I will leave. I will walk away and there will be no chance of me EVER coming back.
PegNosePete Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 You obviously don't have zero tolerance otherwise you wouldn't be taking him back. It sounds like he has given you some words, but what actions has he taken to ensure this does not happen again? 1
ExpatInItaly Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 (edited) I know he has felt very very bad he seems very regretful and is still very depressed over it as am I. I have told him I have 0 tolerance over anything of that nature and if it happens again even if we are married with kids I will leave. I will walk away and there will be no chance of me EVER coming back. He already knows this isn't true. You'd be gone now if it were. Put some actions behind your words. Otherwise, he won't take you seriously at all and it will happen again. You say you'd walk away if it happened again, even if there were children involved. Why let it progress to that stage, in which an entire family is being broken up? He showed you he's not trustworthy. He also showed you he's not as committed or interested in you as you are in him. I'd show him the door. A couple of questions to clarify the situation: How old are you both? How long have you been together? How did you discover he's been cheating? And is this a real-life or online relationship? (Sorry if I've misinterpreted your status - it's not clear from your OP if you know each other in real life or not) Edited September 22, 2014 by ExpatInItaly
No Limit Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 You are deliberately staying with a serial cheater, so it's incredibly foolish of you to even expect him to be faithful to you. Either you accept he bangs whoever will let him or break up. If you decide to stay anyway, get tested for STDs every month so that HIV and syphilis can be treated early and your life saved.
longjohn Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 Get rid of him otherwise be ready to post about the next time he does this and the next.. and the next. 2
preraph Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 The only way you should agree to stay is if he agrees to full transparency. You get his passwords and to look at his phone.
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