mantlefan Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 Hi all, I met a girl about 6 weeks ago, and we went out to dinner. It seemed like we had a good time, we had lots to talk about, and she texted me afterwards and said "I had a great time, thanks for everything. Till next time!" The past few weeks she has been gone to friends' weddings on Saturdays, and Fridays I can understand if she is too tired to do much of anything after a work day (we are both new in town, in our first year of teaching, so it's 70ish hour weeks), but if she really did want to get together again it seems like she would try harder. A week ago we happened to see each other at a social for new educators in town, and we chatted for a bit but the speeches went late and everyone left. I told her before the event that I was going, but she didn't say either way if she was. So when I saw her there and she hadn't told me, I interpreted that she wasn't interested. But then 1/2 an hour after I get home, she texts me saying she was sorry we couldn't have talked more and wondered how I was doing. She didn't have a wedding this weekend, but still didn't text me back after saying "let's see about Saturday. Have a good Friday!" and I responded. "Sounds good! I should be free by early evening." I'm attracted to this girl, but I have no idea if I am wasting my time. At this point, the ball's in her court. Should I just leave it there, or somehow be more clear that I want to go out with her again?
Atticus9292012 Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 I'd leave it alone. She may just want to be your friend. If she were interested she'd make it a point to see you again. I would for a guy I liked a lot. 1
mightycpa Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 I'm leaning toward the Atticus POV. There's a lot worse things than having an opposite sex pal who can feed you dates. Of course, you'd be expected to do the same. Why don't you do something ballsy and tell her you're getting the feeling she's not interested in dating you. Then shut up. If she gets all uncomfortable and starts making excuses, you can just cut her off, tell her that it's perfectly ok, you just wanted to know. Tell her you want her to go with you anyway, not as a date, but to make friends. Then jokingly suggest that if she knows any cute single women, you wouldn't object if she invited them along. You could certainly make a joke here about all the weddings she's been attending. On the other hand, if she expresses interest, then you're good to go. I don't think you'll have that problem, but who knows? The point is you're both new in town, and you can be a good source of things to do with and for each other, even if being a couple's not in the cards. This is especially true if otherwise you hit it off, as you say you did. Might as well play all the angles.
Yookie Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 Wait, I don't see where you actually ASKED her out and she declined??? Are you waiting for her to ask you out? Forget about trying to just show up at a spot where she might be. Ask her out point blank then if she flakes act accordingly... 2
smackie9 Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 If it were me I would keep looking and put her on the back burner.
Assasda Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 I agree with smackie9. She's got your number. See other women. If she show back up? Great if not? Great, youre going out with other exceptional women. For some reason though, I sense that your "date" with her was too formal and stuffy
singsparkles Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 Hi all, I met a girl about 6 weeks ago, and we went out to dinner. It seemed like we had a good time, we had lots to talk about, and she texted me afterwards and said "I had a great time, thanks for everything. Till next time!" The past few weeks she has been gone to friends' weddings on Saturdays, and Fridays I can understand if she is too tired to do much of anything after a work day (we are both new in town, in our first year of teaching, so it's 70ish hour weeks), but if she really did want to get together again it seems like she would try harder. A week ago we happened to see each other at a social for new educators in town, and we chatted for a bit but the speeches went late and everyone left. I told her before the event that I was going, but she didn't say either way if she was. So when I saw her there and she hadn't told me, I interpreted that she wasn't interested. But then 1/2 an hour after I get home, she texts me saying she was sorry we couldn't have talked more and wondered how I was doing. She didn't have a wedding this weekend, but still didn't text me back after saying "let's see about Saturday. Have a good Friday!" and I responded. "Sounds good! I should be free by early evening." I'm attracted to this girl, but I have no idea if I am wasting my time. At this point, the ball's in her court. Should I just leave it there, or somehow be more clear that I want to go out with her again? Not to sound like the villian right now, but I've been that EXACT girl you're talking about. I personally think she's giving you just enough attention to keep you there because she likes your attention...unfortunately. And a lot of these girls that do that, they always realize how much they like you/care about you when its too late, when you're over them, or onto the next girl and thats the unfortunate part. She is playing games, plain and simple. I would advise you to stop giving her attention ASAP, because you dont deserve that treatment! If she ends up calling you, then answer and set up plans and take it slow. If she doesn't, then you know she just wasn't the one for you and you deserve better... someone who won't play games with your heart!!! xo
Author mantlefan Posted September 23, 2014 Author Posted September 23, 2014 Wait, I don't see where you actually ASKED her out and she declined??? Are you waiting for her to ask you out? Forget about trying to just show up at a spot where she might be. Ask her out point blank then if she flakes act accordingly... I have asked her three times after the first time we went out. First two she was out of town, third (this past weekend), she suggested her sister might be coming to town and she would let me know whether she was free or not Saturday. As for the other comment about the date being stuffy, I wonder why I gave that impression. I was very comfortable. I think she was too. She was telling me all sorts of things that might be considered embarrassing (nothing major). When I went to her apartment, we had a beer and chatted and listened to music for about an hour, and then drove around aimlessly until we found someplace that looked decent. A good local bar. We got some bar-ish food. Then she mentioned that she hadn't had time to go shopping and I needed a couple things so we wandered walmart and talked a lot more. I guess that was kind of weird and maybe not very good first-date material, but it was a little quirky and that's why it was fun. She seemed to like it too. Now that I think about it, I wonder if she was just happy to have someone to talk to, being new in town and lonely. So her initial enthusiasm "till next time" maybe wore off later. IDK. I don't know if she's playing games, but I think she knows by now that I do want to go out again. I think I'll go with the majority and drop it.
preraph Posted September 23, 2014 Posted September 23, 2014 I think you've asked her out enough. If she is just super busy which is possible, once she settles down, she knows where to find you. 1
travelbug1996 Posted September 23, 2014 Posted September 23, 2014 if she declined 3 times she's not interested. sorry but i think you should forget about her. Women accept dates with men they like. 2
2sunny Posted September 23, 2014 Posted September 23, 2014 It doesn't matter how busy someone is - when they are totally interested they make time. She seems just lukewarm. 1
smackie9 Posted September 23, 2014 Posted September 23, 2014 It sounded more like two friends hanging out rather than a date of romantic interest.....that is probably why seeing you again is not so much of a priority. 1
moie Posted September 23, 2014 Posted September 23, 2014 At least she is spending time with you although this whole "till next time" thing or "talk to you later" type that never arrives is kind of puzzling for me as well. I really hope things progress well with you
Author mantlefan Posted September 23, 2014 Author Posted September 23, 2014 At least she is spending time with you although this whole "till next time" thing or "talk to you later" type that never arrives is kind of puzzling for me as well. I really hope things progress well with you Thanks. I think if she hadn't texted me after we happened to see each other at that social saying she wished we could have talked more I wouldn't be so confused.
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