irishguy1470 Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 Hey everybody, So recently, like many people I have been online dating..specifically a very popular site. Any way I had received a message from the website saying this particular woman was interested, so I initiated conversation and sent her an email. Even though she had read it (the website notifies you), she did not return an email until about a week later. From that point on we had exchanged about 2 messages each over the course of the past week. She actually apologized to me the one time it took her two days to respond, which no big deal in my eyes. Anyway, she sent me a message Thursday and at the end asked me if I had any plans for the weekend (which to me shows great interest in possibly meeting and giving me the hint to begin asking her out and meet in person) So I sent her a message back letting her know I was busy, but looking at potentially meeting up next weekend. Well, this was Thursday it is now Sunday night and she hasn't even read my message, even though she's logged into her account numerous times (the website allows you to see when they are logged in). So, my question is do I send her a new message assuming she simply overlooked my last one, and if so how long do I wait to do this? Or do I just wait and see if she eventually reads my last message and responds? If she had read it and not responded I would take it as a redflag that she was no longer interested, but since she hasn't even read it I'm not sure what to think. I appreciate any advice.
mightycpa Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 Don't put all your eggs in her basket, but don't give up on her either. She'll get back to you on her own time. Keep looking around. 1
Author irishguy1470 Posted September 22, 2014 Author Posted September 22, 2014 Oh yeah, definitely not putting all of my eggs in one basket. I just felt we clicked pretty well and I saw no negative signs throughout any conversation and was rather confused is all. Thanks for the response.
Assasda Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 The fact is, you dont know someone till you meet. As nice as they might seem online -Kudos for you to trying to meet quickly. I personally wouldnt send her another message. Contact other women 1
quidproquo89 Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 The fact is, you dont know someone till you meet. As nice as they might seem online -Kudos for you to trying to meet quickly. I personally wouldnt send her another message. Contact other women this point is soo crucial! Try not to get carried away or get too hung up on anybody - distance yourself just a little to protect your interests - pursue with your back covered 1
d0nnivain Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 If you sent 1 message without a response, do not send another one. For the most part silence on OLD means I'm not interested. 3
longjohn Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 You need to have other options open to date. More so from those sites. Women get dozens of messages and wield a lot of power. Think about it if you where a woman and had all those guys sending you messages what would you do? Settle or see what else is out there? If you are obviously being ignored take it as a sign that they have a more interesting prospect at the minute and you've been bumped to number 2 position. They may return at a later date if the other guy isn't what they want. You can wait around hoping to get your shot at the prize or move along and find someone actually interested enough in you to maintain a conversation and at least meet in the flesh.
CarrieT Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 Anyway, she sent me a message Thursday and at the end asked me if I had any plans for the weekend (which to me shows great interest in possibly meeting and giving me the hint to begin asking her out and meet in person) First mistake here! You were projecting what you wanted to believe based on her question. Unless she came and said, "I show great interest in meeting" than you don't know what she was thinking when she asked if you had plans. She might have been seeing what type of guy you were: If you *had* plans, it might show you had other prospects, ideas, and a fulfilling life. If you had responded, "nothing planned - going to sit and watch TV," it would have shown you as boring and unimaginative. See how the game works? You jumped to a conclusion of interest based on what you were HOPING would transpire. You said that her question "gave you a hint" when nothing is further from the truth. In corresponding with people, you can NOT assume or project anything beyond what is explicitly written or stated. That is why it is critical to try and talk to people as soon as possible and do the meet-and-greet sooner rather than later = to see if there IS actual chemistry and potential. Otherwise it is just words... 1
mrslovely Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 In the first instance it took her a week to respond? You could've ended it right there. MAJOR red flag. She doesn't want you. At all. She's gone for good. If she were genuinely interested, she wouldn't take 2 days to respond. When she asked about plans for the weekend, she meant it as a friend and was only making conversation. You have to be completely honest with yourself. I know it's hard but next time you'll know that this behaviour means she isn't interested and you can move on quicker. It's actually worse that she hasn't read it yet. Don't waste anymore time. Just move on. Anyway, good luck to you
Mrin Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 When she asked about plans for the weekend, she meant it as a friend and was only making conversation. This. Unless she specifically said "let's meet up", she was just making conversation with a question and as CarrieT suggested, that question also had some probative benefit - are you active, what do you like to do, etc... I'm sorry to say I've used this question myself with OLD when I don't have anything else to say.
slizl Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 First mistake here! You were projecting what you wanted to believe based on her question. Unless she came and said, "I show great interest in meeting" than you don't know what she was thinking when she asked if you had plans. She might have been seeing what type of guy you were: If you *had* plans, it might show you had other prospects, ideas, and a fulfilling life. If you had responded, "nothing planned - going to sit and watch TV," it would have shown you as boring and unimaginative. See how the game works? You jumped to a conclusion of interest based on what you were HOPING would transpire. You said that her question "gave you a hint" when nothing is further from the truth. In corresponding with people, you can NOT assume or project anything beyond what is explicitly written or stated. That is why it is critical to try and talk to people as soon as possible and do the meet-and-greet sooner rather than later = to see if there IS actual chemistry and potential. Otherwise it is just words... One hundred percent agree with this one. What are you up to this weekend is just small talk. This is my go to question for literally everyone I talk to on Thursday's and Friday's. You should have said, I'm doing blah blah blah, what are you up to?
Author irishguy1470 Posted October 2, 2014 Author Posted October 2, 2014 Just to update this situation. She ended up responding. We communicated for about a week and she gave me her number without me having to ask. So I messaged her about meeting and she responded back with a text that essentially ignored my question. So we text back and forth for a day just making small talk. I ended that conversation, then waited a couple of days and text her, she immediately responded. I again suggested we meet, and never got a response. Now all of a sudden two days later she texts me apologizing saying she can't meet on this particular day. Now I am in no ways putting all of my eggs in one basket, in fact I am also talking to a couple of other women right now. My question is do I continue to try with this one as well, or just let it be. And if I do decide to continue how do I approach it. Thanks
d0nnivain Posted October 2, 2014 Posted October 2, 2014 Try calling her . . . using the voice capabilities of the phones.
quidproquo89 Posted October 2, 2014 Posted October 2, 2014 I don't think its a good sign that she is ignoring your meet up requests. Seems like she is just keeping it status quo, keeping you hanging on. I wouldn't bother about her too much. Concentrate elsewhere
deathandtaxes Posted October 2, 2014 Posted October 2, 2014 You asked her to go out twice and were ignored both times. Don't text this one again. She's just looking for a text buddy.
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