dragonfire13 Posted September 21, 2014 Posted September 21, 2014 I met a guy, we chatted for a while, had the whole banter thing going on but I think I offended him at some point. Which led him to say he's attracted to me but thinks our personalities might clash, so thinks it's best that we be friends. Yet he continues to initiate contact, and is very flirty whilst doing so. He will constantly compliment me, he comments on every social media update, he remembers things I've said and brings it up as an excuse to prolong conversation. He travels around Europe sometimes for work and has even invited me on his next trip. This guy seems like the flakey type so I doubt he will follow through, and I wouldnt go away with someone I have only recently started talking to anyway, whether we are apparent "friends" or not. I'm assuming this guy is trying to set up a FwB situation?
bolase Posted September 21, 2014 Posted September 21, 2014 Yes. He's clearly attracted to you but doesn't see you two in a relationship and has let you know both those things clearly through his actions. He is hoping that you like him enough to come on his trip, keep him company and have sex with him but he has no intention of it being a lasting thing.
mightycpa Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 He is setting you up for the FWB play. 1
Dork Vader Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 Agree with the above all he wants is a FWB thing or some type of fling. I highly doubt he'll change his mind either. It's insanely rare so don't hold your breath thinking he'll come around. He likely wont.
truth_seeker Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 I'm assuming this guy is trying to set up a FwB situation? Oh, yea...
Yookie Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 You're his ego stroke of the day ('cause he knows you drool for him).
Assasda Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 I met a guy, we chatted for a while, had the whole banter thing going on but I think I offended him at some point. Which led him to say he's attracted to me but thinks our personalities might clash, so thinks it's best that we be friends. Yet he continues to initiate contact, and is very flirty whilst doing so. He will constantly compliment me, he comments on every social media update, he remembers things I've said and brings it up as an excuse to prolong conversation. He travels around Europe sometimes for work and has even invited me on his next trip. This guy seems like the flakey type so I doubt he will follow through, and I wouldnt go away with someone I have only recently started talking to anyway, whether we are apparent "friends" or not. I'm assuming this guy is trying to set up a FwB situation? Such a wise girl. Exactly this. He doesnt care for you much. Also being flakey as a guy, is probably one of the worst traits you can have, probably worst than arrogance 1
Els Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 Either your guess (FWB), or, like some women who do the same thing, they like having your attention and they want to keep it.
Author dragonfire13 Posted September 22, 2014 Author Posted September 22, 2014 Lol figured as much. You're his ego stroke of the day ('cause he knows you drool for him). That's the thing though, I chat to him like a friend. The flirting is very one sided. Sure, he's attractive but when he gets aggressively flirty I ignore it half the time, or bat it away coz I'm trying to suss him out. He does sulk for a few days when I call him out on stuff, but then gets in contact again asking how I am but making a point to mention that it bugged him when I made that comment/assumption about him. I should add we didn't meet in a romantic setting, it was more platonic - it was him who chased me down on social media and it's him who initiates conversation all the time. Frankly, I find the whole thing quite amusing. I should probably just ignore him though. Maybe we could have been friends like he suggested if he stopped flirting lol.
windows Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 (edited) He could also be conflicted. Believe me, I know. Everything in his body is telling him you're attractive - but his mind says, "But this wouldn't go anywhere even if it started". So, he makes no deliberate conscious plan to pursue you - yet when he is with you, he finds himself unable to resist flirting with you. How do I know this? I've been the same kind of fool. (And I'm currently trying to stop acting this way towards one particular girl.) In any case, he's fighting against his own mind here (and losing). My advice - don't reciprocate his advances. You can be sure he is not serious about you. Edited September 22, 2014 by windows adding additional info 1
Author dragonfire13 Posted September 22, 2014 Author Posted September 22, 2014 (edited) Definitely would not reciprocate physical, romantic advances - hey, he wanted a "friendship" and I don't make it a habit of fooling around with friends I know I should just ignore him when he initiates contact, but I must admit I do kind of get a kick out of challenging him on his contradictory behaviour, but it really is just a waste of time. Edited September 22, 2014 by dragonfire13
moie Posted September 23, 2014 Posted September 23, 2014 The question I have for Dragonfire is whether you find the flirting flattering, since he is obviously attracted to many aspects of you. Would you want it to stop? Doesnt it feel good to have a guy say nice things about you from time to time, long as you dont have to give anything in return. Why not take advantage of it.
Author dragonfire13 Posted September 23, 2014 Author Posted September 23, 2014 Hmm I guess harmless flirting can be fun, and when I'm not giving him a hard time we do have quite interesting conversations... but when he gets too flirty, my natural reaction is to call him out on it because he's contradicting himself. I don't want to give him that satisfaction of thinking he's successfully setting up a FwB situation lol.
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