patti_labelle Posted September 21, 2014 Posted September 21, 2014 What does that even mean? We've been seeing each other for 9 months. My bf is more kinky than I am. I personally like more 'boring' sex. like no toys or weird objects.. But I learned a great exercise to control my kegel muscles so I can intensify his orgasms and make him feel really good. I know for a fact that this is one of the easiest ways for a woman to make a guy feel great. On top of that I usually want sex THREE times a day or night. How is that not sexual? I have plenty of fantasies, although admittedly more soft-core, nothing too crazy. Like hair-pulling, handcuffing, having sex in the bathtub, in a secluded public place, different positions, different places all around the house... and I tried telling him and he never said anything or initiated anything. I also LOVE kissing him and touching him and giving him tons of affection. He keeps asking me for pictures too, and videos of me. I don't like to masturbate. I prefer sex. I dont understand. He always asks me for videos. I think he's just personally offended and feels like I'm not 'turned on' by him because i don't masturbate to him. It's because i prefer sex. -_- I'm so confused.
Jules Dash Posted September 21, 2014 Posted September 21, 2014 o How is that not sexual? I have plenty of fantasies, although admittedly more soft-core, nothing too crazy. Like hair-pulling, handcuffing, having sex in the bathtub, in a secluded public place, different positions, different places all around the house... and I tried telling him and he never said anything or initiated anything. I also LOVE kissing him and touching him . Sex 3 times a day and the above is a pretty good menu. I am sure you two can reach a compromise.
lollipopspot Posted September 21, 2014 Posted September 21, 2014 He keeps asking me for pictures too, and videos of me. I don't like to masturbate. I prefer sex. I dont understand. He always asks me for videos. Don't do it, or there's a good chance your pics and videos will make their way onto some amateur porn sites when you break up. 2
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted September 21, 2014 Posted September 21, 2014 Face it he wants you to be a slut. Say no to piccys... unless you want to be put on the net.
LostOnes05 Posted September 21, 2014 Posted September 21, 2014 Yea, I agree with lollipop. Definitely, don't do it. The minute you break up your pictures/videos will be everywhere. If I was in a relationship with someone that wanted sex three times a day, I'd feel like I was the Powerball winner. He shouldn't complain... 1
CarrieT Posted September 21, 2014 Posted September 21, 2014 I hate to say this because I am a very kinky person, but I would rather have really kinky sex once a week than "boring" (i.e., vanilla) sex three times a day. But much may depend on what time of kink he likes. That aside, the guy wanting pictures and videos is a huge red flag and, as others have said, when/if you break-up, they will appear on the internet so don't give in on this one. On the hair-pulling, public sex stuff - that is cool and far from boring! Instead of "telling him" (expecting him to initiate!), why don't you just take him somewhere secluded and hand him handcuffs? That should be a change of pace! Ultimately, if he keeps pressuring you for stuff like the videos, it will ultimately not work out between you two...
preraph Posted September 21, 2014 Posted September 21, 2014 Sounds like he just isn't a happy person or he'd be more than satisfied. The more worrisome part is he's blaming it on you when you are not to blame. That is not good. He's trying to make you feel inferior. Don't let him. That's a type of abuse or the start of it.
Gloria25 Posted September 21, 2014 Posted September 21, 2014 I forgot how it goes, but I've heard that when the sex is good, it does not become the focus of the RL...BUT, when there's an issue with the sex, it IS the issue in the RL (in other words, doesn't matter what else is good in a RL). Dating, IMO, is figuring out if you're a match/compatible. You also gotta figure out what your deal-breakers are. If what you two want in the bedroom is more important than other stuff in the RL, then you guys gotta make a decision
central Posted September 21, 2014 Posted September 21, 2014 If he needs kinks or fetishes for sexual satisfaction, you are never going to really satisfy him, but you'd be great for almost anyone else! Find out what he really means by "sexual enough" and decide if you have a future together.
Assasda Posted September 21, 2014 Posted September 21, 2014 I think he wants you to be more kinky. But if youre not. He'll deal with it dont worry. I dont think he's offended, just tell him that you like to have sex more. With the pictures thing, I see no problem with it, If you feel comfortable, do it. If you trust someone with your body, you should trust them with pictures
lollipopspot Posted September 21, 2014 Posted September 21, 2014 With the pictures thing, I see no problem with it, If you feel comfortable, do it. If you trust someone with your body, you should trust them with pictures Well, so thought every lady who was horrified when her intimate pictures ended up on the internet. Sometimes it may not even be the guy who puts them up - phones and computers can be hacked and images stolen, as per the recent celebrity image dump. Oh - and there is no sympathy from the consumers for the woman whose images wind up on those sites or otherwise in the public realm, when that wasn't her intention. Most consumers seem to take the stance that if you didn't want your images out there, don't take them. I don't agree with that, but take heed. Women have had their lives and peace of mind very damaged from this.
Assasda Posted September 21, 2014 Posted September 21, 2014 Well, so thought every lady who was horrified when her intimate pictures ended up on the internet. Sometimes it may not even be the guy who puts them up - phones and computers can be hacked and images stolen, as per the recent celebrity image dump. Oh - and there is no sympathy from the consumers for the woman whose images wind up on those sites or otherwise in the public realm, when that wasn't her intention. Most consumers seem to take the stance that if you didn't want your images out there, don't take them. I don't agree with that, but take heed. Women have had their lives and peace of mind very damaged from this. Also, I should add. Hide your credit card numbers, your personal information and your tax info. Because people also steal those, those also get hacked, and people lose millions from those. If you want to start a new topic about computer hacking and info protection, we can do that as well
Priv Posted September 21, 2014 Posted September 21, 2014 If it is any consolation, you are kinkier than him if what he complains about is pictures/videos (don't, not in this environment) and masturbation.
lollipopspot Posted September 21, 2014 Posted September 21, 2014 (edited) Also, I should add. Hide your credit card numbers, your personal information and your tax info. Because people also steal those, those also get hacked, and people lose millions from those. If you want to start a new topic about computer hacking and info protection, we can do that as well This is much more than info protection. Most women would rather have to cancel their credit cards and temporarily deal with credit issues than deal with images of them masturbating or having sex on the net. Images are often life and reputation ruining, or carry the threat of it. And they may also get there not through hacking but through intentional posting by the ex. Your idea that if you can trust an ex with your body you should trust them with this seems naive. People misjudge character and have horrible breakups all the time. Also, re. info protection, there is no foolproof protection. Banks can't even protect themselves adequately. http://money.cnn.com/2014/08/28/technology/security/bank-hack/ Edited September 21, 2014 by lollipopspot
Recommended Posts