irc333 Posted September 21, 2014 Posted September 21, 2014 (edited) The recent post about "caring mostly about looks" has got me thinking that online dating is a bit of a crutch because the reality of the situation is that some or most people who would reject someone online would likely not do it in person. I've heard cases on message boards, where they contacted someone locally only to be ignored then bumping them into person which allowed the opportunity for "face time". They easily hooked up, dated, and wound up in a relationship. The man revealed to her a few dates into it that he'd already contacted her online, but just didn't say anything yet. She said, "Wow, I would not have ignored you if I'd known what you were really like!" It's funny how when you introduce the senses into it, it all changes. There was a time where I would carefully pick who I email, but now...I'm just emailing people willy nilly just to see if I get a response, I know that sounds bad, but this is what I would resort to. When I was being selective and carefully reading a woman's profile looking for the same cores, beliefs, ideas of romance and values that matched up with mine. And from reading the profile I would actually believe a person would "Get" me and my brand of humor, basically FEEL that we're on the same page, you'd figured that'd elicit a response. What prompted this post is that after I had taken a few months from online dating, I jumped back on...saw this familiar face RE-join after a time as well, and even mention she's been "on and off this thing" and now is back on board. I saw a pic of her next to the Crypt Keeper and one of her favorite shows is The Walking Dead...and a Christian (go figure, a Christian woman that's into gore? I figured I'd hit the jack pot . LOL) Most women into that kind of stuff are New Age or Agnostic. She's ignored me in the past, but now is back on, so maybe realizes pickings in our area are much slim that she'll consider her limited options? Also, they likely get tons of emails from men WAY out of town or just people using the shotgun method, so it's all "White Noise" coming at her. Anyhow, my point is, do you thinking online dating is keeping people apart that would have been a great couple if they'd met them in person? That's what happened when me and my last g/f met, she doesn't even touch online dating with a 10 foot pole and was more about the character/personality of the person. Real life encounters gives people the opportunity to show their true colors whereas online you're just flippin' through a catalog and inadvertently passing by "Mr. Right". LOL Edited September 21, 2014 by irc333
WesternWizard Posted September 21, 2014 Posted September 21, 2014 Well, Mr. IRC, after all is said and done, the frustration over OLD vs. IRL is but one aspect of how it's no longer our parents' dating. It's a new and different ballgame, but most of us are still trying to play by the old rules which no longer work... hence, we get frustrated and some of us end up on LS to say so. It's going to take everyone a couple of years to figure out how the new ballgame works, and not everyone's going to be cool with it... tradition is like that nosey, opinionated grandmother who nobody wants to disinvite from the family picnic because nobody wants to break her heart.
Author irc333 Posted September 21, 2014 Author Posted September 21, 2014 I am wondering, do you think we'll revert back to the "Dark Ages" of getting to know someone through a public outing or cold approaches? I wonder if enough people get frustrated enough or so turned off by online dating, they may go back to that. Even I'm considering cold approaches. Sadly, I've seen a couple of women at Meetup events thumbing through their POF APP on their phones checking out the profiles while MEN are standing there right in front of them. LOL Well, Mr. IRC, after all is said and done, the frustration over OLD vs. IRL is but one aspect of how it's no longer our parents' dating. It's a new and different ballgame, but most of us are still trying to play by the old rules which no longer work... hence, we get frustrated and some of us end up on LS to say so. It's going to take everyone a couple of years to figure out how the new ballgame works, and not everyone's going to be cool with it... tradition is like that nosey, opinionated grandmother who nobody wants to disinvite from the family picnic because nobody wants to break her heart.
WesternWizard Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 I am wondering, do you think we'll revert back to the "Dark Ages" of getting to know someone through a public outing or cold approaches? I wonder if enough people get frustrated enough or so turned off by online dating, they may go back to that. Even I'm considering cold approaches. From the way things are looking, one of the ways the search is evolving is those of us who have laundry lists will start getting together and doing mini-interview meetups, sort of like "slow dating" rather than speed dating. The companies will try getting a handle on it, but ultimately I don't think they'll be able to beat the meetup hosts who get the formula right. One thing which is about to start happening in a couple of years, is women will start initiating more and more. They're already starting to realize that a lot of the men who'll treat them decently are men who are a little socially awkward & need a little breaking through. Yeah, many of the women will complain, but they'll come around. No guts, no guy.
Author irc333 Posted September 22, 2014 Author Posted September 22, 2014 From the way things are looking, one of the ways the search is evolving is those of us who have laundry lists will start getting together and doing mini-interview meetups, sort of like "slow dating" rather than speed dating. The companies will try getting a handle on it, but ultimately I don't think they'll be able to beat the meetup hosts who get the formula right. One thing which is about to start happening in a couple of years, is women will start initiating more and more. They're already starting to realize that a lot of the men who'll treat them decently are men who are a little socially awkward & need a little breaking through. Yeah, many of the women will complain, but they'll come around. No guts, no guy. Right, recently a new Christian singles group opened up. At the first main event I was the ONLY male there LOL. About probably 10 women showed up. Kind of goes to show how anxious women are about meeting someone, more so than men. So maybe things are turning in the men's favor perhaps?
Mirages Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 Sadly, I've seen a couple of women at Meetup events thumbing through their POF APP on their phones checking out the profiles while MEN are standing there right in front of them. LOL That is very funny. It is either a clue for them to put out there, broadcasting availability, or they are being clumbsy. Can you log onto POF and message them while they are doing this? Some good timing might be entertaining.
WesternWizard Posted September 22, 2014 Posted September 22, 2014 Well, yes... but from what I've been seeing at speed dating events and other meetups for singles, a lot of women don't know what they want, but they're still looking for it anyways. Almost all of the women I talk to at speed dating events nowadays are first-timers... they all say the bar scene doesn't work for them, which is understandable enough (those of us who don't drink want to meet people too), but it's like ok, a friend told them about speed dating, so they'll give it a try... then they go to one event and they don't meet a guy they like, so they give up on speed dating and try something else. Who knows where those women have gone on to... I liken it to working on an invention. If the thing doesn't work the first time around, you can either chuck it into the trash and start over, or you can try to figure out why it didn't work the first time. Of course, I favor the latter. Things will start turning in men's favor, and it will turn out good for the women too, once the women start making up their minds what they're looking for in a man BEFORE they try to meet men. Few things in dating frustrate me more than talking to a woman who doesn't have the foggiest idea which direction she wants to steer her love life.
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