Darren2013 Posted September 20, 2014 Posted September 20, 2014 For the most part the signs I am interested in a woman is that I go to great efforts to pretend I am not interested. I may avoid her or make it a point to avoid looking at her when she comes into the room. So it is possible for someone to be very interested and not give any of the classic signs you read about if they are going to great lengths to hide their high interest level for various reasons. Of course the biggest reason I try to conceal my high interest is the fear of finding out that she doesn't feel the same way about me. I know many people on this site say I need to grow some balls and step up and take a more direct approach. But I have been thinking that is not always a good idea. First of all my feelings for her are really none of her business if she doesn't feel the same way. So until there's a strong case to be made that she feels the same way then it is not information that is any of her concern and therefore I am doing the right thing to keep attraction concealed. Is there a risk that pretending I don't like her will backfire? Yes there is that risk only if she might feel the same way for me. But I would rather take that risk than to stick my neck out and risk rejection. If I do nothing and say nothing and just stay as far away from her as possible then she can't reject me and I can't embarrass myself. I know sometimes women will use mutual friends to test a man to see if he has a crush on her. So in order to really cover my tracts I would not tell mutual friends that I like this woman. I wouldn't tell a single soul outside of this forum not even a Priest. Just the other day a mutual friend asked me if I like this lady and I lied and said no. I knew there was a chance that the information would get back to her so I did the right thing to lie about it. I want to throw off whatever suspicions she or her friends or my friends have about what is going on. Interestingly enough if I am not interested in a certain woman I show some of the same signs such as not talking to her that much, not looking at her at all, etc. My behavior is generally the same but the only difference is that when I have high interest I am going through the motions trying to mimick someone who is not interested. So you couldn't tell if I was really interested or not. So there's no law on the books that says you must always reveal your interest to someone. You have every right to lie and say you are not interested because quite frankly if you are not sure they feel the same way then what you feel for them is none of their business anyway. For what it is worth I know for myself that my feelings for my crush continue to progress. I know this because I can't stop thinking about her. Even when I watch my favorite TV program she comes to my mind. I think my appetite for food has decreased because she has been on my mind alot. Even my sleep is interrupted and I wake up earlier than usual and she is the first thought that comes to my mind. The only benefit to losing my appetite over her is losing some weight and looking at least more physically attractive. As I said I look more attractive being 7 or 8 pounds overweight than being 20 pounds overweight. Granted we are on friendly speaking terms now but I have kept it at reduced contact. I'm also not prepared to risk losing a good friendship yet which could happen if I make it too obvious that I have fallen for her. Until one is ready to risk the friendship then they shouldn't reveal anything.
Phoe Posted September 20, 2014 Posted September 20, 2014 I will say that this is often how I behaved. When I had a crush I'd avoid the person out of fear that they'd read my mind and find out, haha. The risk with doing this, and I always fully knew this, is that because they will never find out it's almost a 100% chance that nothing will ever happen. I personally became accustomed to the concept of being aware and comfortable with the fact that I would never actually end up involved with anyone I developed a crush on.
Gloria25 Posted September 20, 2014 Posted September 20, 2014 Well, good that you're communicating with your crush and keeping it in moderation...just watch out on the sleeping, eating stuff. I know where you're coming from - and I can't explain it. I mean, I'm a woman in my 30's and am getting all giddy like a little school girl with my crush... Actually yesterday, I made sure I was able to exchange "Hi's" with him and I was like all nervous and shaking, wanna make sure I do it right...like crushing on him is keeping me off balance...lol. I mean, sometimes I see him out/about and I just look at him and smile tenderly to myself I also think that is why I try to suppress my emotions cuz gosh darn, it sucks when someone's got a hold on you... But, I guess the way to go is to work on "moderation" of my emotions vs "suppression"? How to go about that? I'm working on it....
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