Co-worker flirting with me. What is your opinion on this?

[JHparkes]

For the past six months I have been working as a secretary to a doctor (he's only temporary). Anyways, we have kind of flirted with each other - prolonged eye contact, lingering around talking about stuff non-work related. When I took the work through to him I would always notice him looking at my legs.

 

About three to four weeks ago things ramped up a notch when he was at the place I work (only there once every two weeks) and he was in the canteen. I went over to him to give him a message and he was really eyeing my body up and down. And talking about his life in his own country (he's not from Northern Europe) then he said, can I take your extension I have forgotten it, so I moved round to stand near to him whilst he put it in his phone. He then said "I can feel it now.." And I said what do you mean? And he said doesn't matter. He then changed the subject. I said I had to go and I would see him later. He said "see you later" then said "I was glad to see you today" and I said me too and went off to sit with my friend.

 

After that I didn't see him for about two weeks cause of being on holiday etc, then I got a phone call from the boss saying that we are getting a new doctor who is replacing that one - I will call him S - basically because the new one would be cheaper) and I was gutted.

 

So then I kind of avoided S coz I was told not to tell him., then when we did speak it was strictly work and no joking.

 

Finally, this week he has to message me about something work related and he jokes about something, which opens the lines in communication. I say good luck in new job he says thank you and he didn't want to go, will miss everyone blah blah then he asks for my email address so that he can keep in touch with me. Which I give him. The next day he is at my place of work and he seems nervous when I go to give him some work. Then he reaches round to the side of his desk and says he has something for me and hands me a bag with a present in and says it's to say thank u for all my help and support. I say thank you and get shy and embarrassed and he kind of comes towards me!! I kind of put my face toward him and it's a quick awkward kiss on the lips/side of mouth!!!! I go bright bright red and awkward. He is kind of smiling. He says email me any time please stay in touch. Later on I have to go to see him again and as I'm walking off he says "i was glad to see you again"

 

He had given me chocolates and a card which read "thank you for your hard work, support and smile!"

 

I'm confused about this. My friend says it's not a dead certain that he likes me in "that way" as foreign men kiss on both cheeks and maybe that was what he was doing originally when he came towards me. He's definitely single and not married or cohabiting. But he hasn't asked me out either or admitted he likes me as more than a friend.? He is 20 years older than me too. What is your opinion?

[Diezel]

He has your email.

 

Let him keep in touch with you.

See what happens from there. Just don't jump to conclusions yet.

[d0nnivain]

I have no idea. Both possibilities are equally plausible: he's just being friendly or he does like you.

 

Romance in the work place is extremely hard to navigate & for that reason some people avoid it altogether no matter the attraction / flirtation.

 

Until he does something more overt, like actually ask you for a date, I would not assume anything.

[JHparkes]

Thanks for your take on this peoples. Should I now leave it to him to get into contact with me first ?

[carhill]

I'd carry on as usual unless and until he asks you on a formal date. Focus on work at work. He knows both how to contact you and how to ask you on a date. He's a mature man. Up to you what you answer if/when he asks.

[Emilia]

That was a rather aggressive response, are you speaking from experience ?

And I can say with 100% certainty he is not married or cohabiting.

Because she is an older, more experienced poster and she knows what men like him are like.

 

He is a doctor, only a temp, your are support staff, 20 years younger, we can all guess where this is likely to be going. Not towards a long term relationship.

[JHparkes]

Because she is an older, more experienced poster and she knows what men like him are like.

 

He is a doctor, only a temp, your are support staff, 20 years younger, we can all guess where this is likely to be going. Not towards a long term relationship.

 

What men like him are like? How do you even know what he is like? Has he done anything wrong apart from gaze at my body from time to time? If you/she were that knowledgable you'd realise that men do this all the time they see someone they find attractive - it's involuntary and unless they are married/taken I don't see what is the big red flag about what I have posted. BTW I said he was 20 years older but I didn't say how old I was either!

[Emilia]

What men like him are like? How do you even know what he is like? Has he done anything wrong apart from gaze at my body from time to time? If you/she were that knowledgable you'd realise that men do this all the time they see someone they find attractive - it's involuntary and unless they are married/taken I don't see what is the big red flag about what I have posted. BTW I said he was 20 years older but I didn't say how old I was either!

I'm pretty sure you are in your 20s at most.

 

Men are perfectly capable of checking you out without your noticing it. For him to look at you up and down that way was designed for you to notice it. Not appropriate behaviour towards junior staff. Junior refers to your position, not your age.

[CarrieT]

BTW I said he was 20 years older but I didn't say how old I was either!

You don't need to.

 

Those of us that have been around this site for a while see these textbook postings and can peg you easily at being in your early/mid 20s.

 

A 30-year old would never have the types of questions or concerns you are having.