Dennal Posted September 20, 2014 Posted September 20, 2014 I'm new here, so, I'll try to keep it short. My gal wants to break up with me. We don't live together, but It all started when I failed to attend her birthday party because I had other commitments somewhere else. Its really absurd, because we had talked about it almost a month before the party, I told her I won't be able to attend. Its not like it happened overnight. She knew before hand that I wouldn't be there, but now she's using it against me. A week before her birthday, one of our close friends was due to fly out of the country for her new job. She asked us for a day out since she was gonna miss the party. I initially agreed, but on the agreed day, I cancelled the meet and informed both of them because I had a very tight schedule at office. My gal took it easy, but this other friend called back and told me she REALLY needed to see me at all costs. I told her she could come see me at office if it was that urgent. She came around. Few hours after she left, my gal got to know about our meeting. She snapped. We exchanged bitter words. Never talked to me for close to three months. Around that same time, a certain guy popped up all of a sudden. I told her it must be this guy fueling this break up. She denied, saying they are just friends. For the whole year we have dated, she had never mentioned him anywhere among her friends. She claims we met at my place, not at work. She wants an apology, which I refused to give because I know I never did anything wrong. We are now back to talking terms, but she says she broke up with me three months back. She says we are now "just friends." Wow! This new guy is still involved, though she claims they are just friends. She says she went back with her Ex (the one I replaced) but I highly doubt it. I think she's using him to divert my attention from the new guy. I have friends who are friends to this new guy, and they tell me he introduces her as his galfriend. She says I'm a proud guy, I never apologize (I only apologize when I'm wrong, not when she's wrong), a flirt, and that I never give her time. I'm really confused. I love this gal. So so much. I want her in my life. But I'm not the kind that begs alot. Should I let her go or try to win her back? I feel like letting go and let karma do her magic. But if I beg her to stay, I'm afraid she will keep bull****ting me. I need some advice please.
Ronni_W Posted September 20, 2014 Posted September 20, 2014 Should I let her go or try to win her back? <edit> But if I beg her to stay, I'm afraid she will keep bull****ting me. I need some advice please. I think she's already gone. And dating somebody else, by the sounds of it. She gets to do that now. She told you that she broke up with you three months ago. Therefore also, she's not BS'ing you...you're NOT her b/f anymore, so why would she see/feel any need to BS you about anything at all? Why don't you believe that she broke up with you three months ago? She claims we met at my place, not at work. She wants an apology, which I refused to give because I know I never did anything wrong. From your perspective, is it that you seldom did or said anything wrong in your relationship with her?
Author Dennal Posted September 20, 2014 Author Posted September 20, 2014 I think I've finally decided to let go. I read something about G.I.G.S and got a full understanding of what I'm going through. I've decided to let her go. Thanks anyway.
MrWorkinProgress Posted September 21, 2014 Posted September 21, 2014 I have to say I notice you're not willing to take much responsibility here. The birthday party was important to her, but other things were more important to you. Your plans were important to your friend before she left the country, but other things were more important to you. And when the relationship hangs in the balance, you refuse to acknowledge that you've done anything wrong or apologize. She broke up with you three months ago and has stuck to it, but you didn't seem to take this as valid. If you told her a month prior that you couldn't attend the bday party and she said it was no big deal and to go ahead with your other plans, then it would be unfair for her to turn around and hold it against you. But if she was consistently upset, then, well, she was consistent. I don't know this woman, but do you have any respect for her opinions, desires or feelings? I'm getting a little bit of a sense that you might have a bit of difficulty with empathy, or at least with taking responsibility.
Author Dennal Posted September 21, 2014 Author Posted September 21, 2014 I discussed with her about the party way before the date and she was well aware that I wouldn't be able to make it. It was on a Saturday and I always have classes on weekends so I end up missing many social events. Most times when I'm to see her, its always a day between Monday and Friday. And they happen to be working days, so I have to skip a few office hours since we stay in a different cities. She is the kind of person who never forgets. Even when you apologize, she will still bring back the same issue later when you get a disagreement. For example, as I told you, she knew way before the party that I will be having a class, but she still blames me. There are many other incidents that I was really in the wrong, and I apologized, but whenever we argued, she would bring it back. It makes one wonder why I bothered apologizing if she wasn't gonna forget it. I loved her, and I didn't wanna lose her. But I think she had always wanted to leave.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 21, 2014 Posted September 21, 2014 She already ended the relationship and is dating other people. Not sure what you want to "get back", exactly. Stick with your decision to let her go, because it seems she's already gone.
Author Dennal Posted September 22, 2014 Author Posted September 22, 2014 Thank you. I'm gonna stick to that.
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