rowboat2596 Posted September 19, 2014 Posted September 19, 2014 About a week ago my girlfriend and I of 4 1/2 months went on a really fun date and had a great time. On the train going to my apartment (she wanted to stay for a little bit before taking the train to her house), I started playing around and putting my face next to hers in a joking kind of manner. She felt uncomfortable and said stop, which I did, and I apologized to her (she doesn't like it when people are to touchy feely). We talked for a little bit and I thanked her for going out of her way to accompany me, and we parted. I felt really bad for what I did so I texted her an apology to which she didn't respond. A couple days later she sends me a funny picture asking for my opinion which I take as things are going alright. I send her a couple funny pictures which she looks at (this is on snapchat), and the following day I asked her if she was free if she'd like to hang out. She said she was free in the evening due to her long hours on her volunteer shift. I ask for what time and she didn't respond - that was Tuesday. Wednesday afternoon, the tentative day for the date, I tell her that if she's busy, we can meetup on Friday or the weekend. It's been a day and a half and she didn't respond to that either. It's not odd that she takes some time to respond, or that we don't talk for awhile, but it's a little weird that she didn't respond to a proposal for a date since Tuesday night, and now it's Friday morning. I feel torn up about what I did and worry that she might be having second thoughts. I tell myself that because she sent that picture, and to see the picture I sent her and responded to my text about a date, she is still interested. I hope she can forgive me for what I did, as I've done for her when she gets late sometimes for our date, or doesn't show up by accidentally sleeping through alarms, or gets disorientated because she forgot to take her medication. I always tell her that's it's fine and that I'm worried about her. I really miss her and need a second opinion, so anything helps, thanks!
evanescentworld Posted September 19, 2014 Posted September 19, 2014 What med's and why would she be disorientated...? Might be a factor....?
Author rowboat2596 Posted September 19, 2014 Author Posted September 19, 2014 They're anti-seizure medications and one of the side effects is dizziness and disorientation. She forgot to take it one a date awhile back.
evanescentworld Posted September 19, 2014 Posted September 19, 2014 Instead of texting can't you actually call her, or go round to see her? What's wrong with Face-to-Face communication, or at least speaking with one another......?
Author rowboat2596 Posted September 19, 2014 Author Posted September 19, 2014 We don't call each other, and the point of meeting up was so that I could talk to her. She knows where I live, but I don't know where she does - a couple weeks ago she moved to a new town. I was thinking about calling her tomorrow around noon if she still doesn't respond today, but I'm not quite sure.
Toodaloo Posted September 19, 2014 Posted September 19, 2014 Instead of texting can't you actually call her, or go round to see her? What's wrong with Face-to-Face communication, or at least speaking with one another......? This. She could be ill. I wouldn't have left it this long. I would have called by now. I know youngsters do this differently these days but sometimes you can't beat a bit of good old fashioned talking. If I am worried I call. Its always better to actually speak to someone than text etc.
evanescentworld Posted September 19, 2014 Posted September 19, 2014 Wait... you've been going out for nearly 5 months, and you never call each other, (Why ever not - ?!) and she hasn't told you - her partner, BF, SO... where she lives - ?! I detect a few red flags. You know what I would do in your situation? Absolutely nothing. Don't call, don't text, don't contact her... drop off her radar completely. Leave her be. if you still hear nothing within the next week - I would if I were you, consider her an ex, and you, dumped.
Author rowboat2596 Posted September 19, 2014 Author Posted September 19, 2014 She has told me where she lives before and I met her there, but I haven't had a chance to visit her new home because of school and issues with transportation getting there. As for the calling we've never felt the need to - if we want to share something or meet-up we text each other. She's on anti-depressant medication and sleeps a lot because of it, and I don't want to wake her up if she needs rest.
evanescentworld Posted September 19, 2014 Posted September 19, 2014 Look: You are nearly 5 months into a relationship. You should be way further ahead than this. You should be hanging out together almost daily, speaking regularly, planning Christmas together, and you should certainly be far more aware of each other's movements and basic information, than you are... Could I ask how old you both are?
Toodaloo Posted September 19, 2014 Posted September 19, 2014 She's on anti-depressant medication and sleeps a lot because of it, and I don't want to wake her up if she needs rest. My best friend is in a similar situation and we also have problems regarding time zones... If I am worried about her - I call. I don't bother with what the time of day is. I call. She does the same. You can leave a message along the lines of "hi ya not heard back form you and was getting worried so just checking that you are ok - hear from you soon". Stop being timid. If you care about this girl the way you say you do its time to step up and do something about it. If she is ill etc ok but if she doesn't want to see you any more take it on the chin. Either way you need to call.
Author rowboat2596 Posted September 19, 2014 Author Posted September 19, 2014 The thing is we can't hang out daily - I have uni from eight to six for most days and she has volunteer shifts at an animal shelter so we usually meet up on the weekends and once during the week. I'm 20 and she's 22, and we do plan things like what we're doing for Halloween and our upcoming birthdays, what we're going to get each other and where we're going to go. Our dates usually are around five to eight hours and we talk a lot while doing activities. We used to go to the same uni but she graduated a few months ago and now lives about an hour away.
evanescentworld Posted September 19, 2014 Posted September 19, 2014 I stand by my previous advice. Go No Contact, leave her alone, and if you hear absolutely nothing at all by the end of one week's time, I would consider yourself single/dumped, and be well within your rights to contact her THEN and ask her what her game is. You're both young, she's a little older and I suspect (although I could be completely wrong) she's not getting out of this what she's looking for. I think you may be too accommodating and compliant. Maybe she wants - and/or needs - someone with....how can I put this....? A bit more 'backbone' than you're showing....
ExpatInItaly Posted September 19, 2014 Posted September 19, 2014 You shouldn't feel so hesitant and nervous about calling her after 5 months of dating. Pick up the dang phone and get some answers
mrslovely Posted September 19, 2014 Posted September 19, 2014 We talked for a little bit and I thanked her for going out of her way to accompany me, What?! You thanked her?! Why...? lol I felt really bad for what I did so I texted her an apology to which she didn't respond. No need for an apology. Seriously. I think she just didn't want you to touch her. A couple days later she sends me a funny picture asking for my opinion which I take as things are going alright. I think she sees you as a friend and not a boyfriend. She made an excuse about the volunteering and she hasn't responded at all which means she's giving you the big brush off. It's not odd that she takes some time to respond, or that we don't talk for awhile Women rarely take time to respond. I hope she can forgive me for what I did What have you done?? as I've done for her when she gets late sometimes for our date, or doesn't show up by accidentally sleeping through alarms, or gets disorientated because she forgot to take her medication. I cannot stress how invalid those reasons are. I always tell her that's it's fine and that I'm worried about her. OK... now I want you to dump this girl right away. Your both not right for each other
mrslovely Posted September 19, 2014 Posted September 19, 2014 I think you may be too accommodating and compliant. Maybe she wants - and/or needs - someone with....how can I put this....? A bit more 'backbone' than you're showing.... I'm sorry to say that he's readily available and easily accessible. I just think that she can have him whenever she wants and that makes her not want to have him. It's dead and gone. I hope learns from this and he doesn't develop a pattern that follows him into his 20's with the next girl he meets.
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