sungoggles Posted September 19, 2014 Posted September 19, 2014 I made the mistake of mixing business with pleasure. I only see the man from time to time as he isn't an actual coworker of mine; rather, he's a vendor that works our entire region. Also, it wasn't serious, although I was quite fond of him. We had a few short dates and no intimacy (he invited me over once but nothing came of it), and in the end I feel that while he did have an interest in me, it probably wasn't enough to pursue anything further. My level of interest just exceeded his. That's how it works sometimes, and I can respect that. I guess my issue, though, is that I didn't get the clean ending we women crave. He canceled our last dinner (I'd arranged this date) by saying that he was behind on his last contract and had an early drive the next morning. That was about a week ago, and he was only scheduled to be out of town for a couple of days. I haven't heard a word from him since then, and I don't expect him to contact me. I've toyed with the idea of contacting him myself, but his canceling our plans with no suggestion of a rain check combined with the lack of contact since have left me with a pretty clear message. So, I've been letting the silence of each day confirm what I already knew... he's out without breaking it off. This part seriously sucks. Anyway, he's due back at my office around the middle of next week, and I'll be required to interact with him directly. I have to admit, though, that I'm a bit frustrated over the way things have ended. So now I'm dreading a day that I once looked forward to, and I'm a bit afraid that my emotions are going to seep through into my professional setting. And I don't know... that just seriously sucks, too. So, fellow forum members, how have you handled situations like this in the past? What did you do to make it easier?
Emilia Posted September 19, 2014 Posted September 19, 2014 There is no such thing as a clean ending. It's always messy when you care. It's not about women craving anything, it's about your wanting more contact from him. The truth is though even if he was nicer the outcome would be the same so..... Just go cold and speak to him as if you had never been out. Strictly business, strictly professional, I'm sure you can keep your emotions in check, you are a big girl.
Art_Critic Posted September 19, 2014 Posted September 19, 2014 You ignore that you even went out and make it all business.... no biggie.. I'd bet he is going to do the same. 1
Author sungoggles Posted September 19, 2014 Author Posted September 19, 2014 There is no such thing as a clean ending. It's always messy when you care. It's not about women craving anything, it's about your wanting more contact from him. The truth is though even if he was nicer the outcome would be the same so..... You make a good point about it being messy regardless, but how things end does make something more or less bothersome for me. This is true in relationships of all kind, not just romantic. I'm envious of those that can say otherwise.
oldshirt Posted September 19, 2014 Posted September 19, 2014 Way back when I was a teenager I read an Ann Landers column where a teenaged girl wrote in all distraught that some boy she went out with a couple times just faded into the background and she wrote Ann Landers wondering what was going on and that she needed 'closure.' Ann Landers reply was that boys don't formally break up with girls, they just stop calling. Their radio silence and their lack of planning and initiative is their closure. Ann went on to tell her not to fall for him showing up on her doorstep six months down the road looking for another kiss when he was bored and lonely. My how things have changed in 30 years now that we are all grown up and we are all adults. 1
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