She didn't feel she is attractive besides me and that I want her. ?

[memoboy]

Today is my 32 birthday and really, by far I can the this is the most ****tiest one so far. I don’t know if I should give up or not.

 

My ex says she deeply cares of me and still loves me at least in some level. Cries often when see sees my stuff at her place etc. She still misses me a lot but doens’t want to contact too much as she knows I’ll be hoping then again. She feels really attached to me still. But she says for some time she didn’t feel as an attractive woman besides me. She didn’t feel I want her and only her publicly. She felt as a housewife. She is still young too. She is 24. I didn’t show it enough. So she says some of these important feelings are gone. Butterflies are gone because of it. And how she is also seeing this another dude, at least casually who is showing her attention and who has been after her for a while. They know each other for the entire time we were together. She says she didn’t feel I want her and only her in public places. I was mostly showing affection and attraction at home. Some time ago she was also really was scared to loose me and she was insecure.

 

She says I’m very good looking, have great body etc. That’s not the issue. But I’ve killed the chemistry with this.

 

Not married, no kids. Just 2 years together. I was just very busy and she had a lot of time in her hands. yeah, way too early to have these sort of feelings of letting the relationship go. To took each other for granted. We moved together almost right away we met. It was so awesome, that we didn’t see the warning signs. Spent too much time together at home. Didn’t go out with her enough, so she went alone. If someone would have told me 3 months ago, she feels like this, I would have changed things around immediately. I didn’t know. I was stupid.

 

Basically see is seeking fun and attraction elsewhere. As she doesn’t feel it with me. I’m showing it now but it's too late. She doesn’t feel the pull any more from her side. Just caring, loving a bit. She knew I think she is pretty. I did told that often. Just there wasn’t enough public kissing, hugging. I guess. That sort of affection that could boost her insecurity. Not enough at least and not in front of friends.

 

She felt jelalous during the relationship. So being with another girls and showing it to her doesn’t work. She just feels some old bad feelings due to that. (although I never cheated or anything). She already knows I’m hard working, successful, handsome guy. Maybe could be a bit more social. But all else, I’m a catch and she knows it.

 

It feels impossible to build that attraction back… As it was how I made her feel.

 

What can I still do?

We have talked about it very openly and it’s all out. We have been honest.

 

She still wants to see me for my birthday today. Should I disappear or still keep some kind of contact and try to build attraction somehow.

 

This is so **** complicated and I’m so tired. It’s been 2 months ob breakup now.

 

Thanks so much!

[memoboy]

The stupidest thing is that she never told me this she feels that way. But I guess it’s a bit common with women or girls sometimes. They assume you should know and they don’t tell you when something is not how they want or feel. They think you should know. But often you don't see it.

[me85]

If you've talked about everything then all you can do now is your own thing and see if she comes around. Respond if she reaches out but keep cool and calm. Don't go too deep anymore at this point. Time apart could benefit you both very much.

 

Distance can make the heart grow fonder.

[FeuFollet]

Take the power back. It's horrible to be alone after being with another person for so long - but that horror is only temporary. Maintain a no contact policy, and if you need a goal to get you through the day, make that goal creating a life for yourself that she will regret not being a part of.

 

Once you are at that point, you might be surprised if she comes back around and you suddenly aren't so sure if you want her.