Mizz Layta Posted September 20, 2014 Posted September 20, 2014 they often do in indirect ways which you can usually pick up in hindsight. one girl who dumped me, in the weeks before she dumped me she took ages to respond to my text messages (she never had before) and was all distant and seemed a lot sadder than she normally was. I realised it was because she was weighing up whether to dump me/how to dump me/etc. they usually leave hints and you can pick up on them, a lot of them are too cowardly to be direct. this,When you look back,you will see the warning signs that's its over.Its never out of the blue.They usually get distance and not responding to texts etc and we just tend to not think anything out of it at that time
Boomshine Posted September 23, 2014 Posted September 23, 2014 So how are you feeling now Panatana? You've had a few days to sit on this info. Has it all been helping you?
Author Panatana90 Posted September 23, 2014 Author Posted September 23, 2014 Hi Boomshine, I'm feeling alright. However, I do still kinda feel bad over any times I was abrupt with her or didn't answer the phone as often as she would have liked me to (i hate talking on the phone lol) I can't help but wonder if any of my neglectfulness contributed to her decision. So I guess I'm still "beating myself up." Is that worth wasting my energy on? Despite that, for 95% of the relationship, I was nothing but good to her and showered her with love. So I have to look on the bright side. Strangely, a friend of mine said that the ultimate 'reason' why she broke up with me/any analysis of why is irrelevant now - cos the end result is still the same. I haven't sent any email, despite part of me still wanting to. I contacted her last and any contact from here on in, should probably be done by her. Let me know what you think, you've been a great help
Boomshine Posted September 23, 2014 Posted September 23, 2014 Hi Boomshine, I'm feeling alright. However, I do still kinda feel bad over any times I was abrupt with her or didn't answer the phone as often as she would have liked me to (i hate talking on the phone lol) I can't help but wonder if any of my neglectfulness contributed to her decision. So I guess I'm still "beating myself up." Is that worth wasting my energy on? Despite that, for 95% of the relationship, I was nothing but good to her and showered her with love. So I have to look on the bright side. Strangely, a friend of mine said that the ultimate 'reason' why she broke up with me/any analysis of why is irrelevant now - cos the end result is still the same. I think there is a LOT to be said for taking time after a relationship to analyze what you did wrong, so that you can do better in future relationships. The dichotomy being that if you've already analyzed everything, then there's no sense continuing to dwell on it. The end result is the same no matter what. Your friend is right with that. But to not analyze it at all would be to put yourself in an egocentric state where you're saying "Nope, I was the absolute perfect boyfriend to her, and I never did anything wrong, so there's nothing about me I could possibly make better!" And then you very much have the potential to do the same all over again in the next relationship you enter. I haven't sent any email, despite part of me still wanting to. I contacted her last and any contact from here on in, should probably be done by her. Let me know what you think, you've been a great help That's the key, mate. Take your time to detach from her and become unaffected by all of this. Work towards a point where you can think about her and it doesn't cause you pain. The rest of being unaffected will follow. I'm glad to help! Hope your healing process goes as smooth as can be from here on out!
oracle Posted September 24, 2014 Posted September 24, 2014 Cause they don't wanna be with you and have probably felt that way for awhile, just haven't had the guts to do anything about it. Its like ripping off a band aid. When they finally get up the courage to do it, they just want it over. They have no interest in working it out. They wanna be done with it by that point
indecisive 12 Posted September 24, 2014 Posted September 24, 2014 Speaking from the other side of the coin I would say that sometimes the things the dumper is questioning about the relationship maybe are not the types of things that you can openly discuss with your SO. Maybe there is a fundamental thing that she was trying to decide herself if she would be able to deal with. It's not the greatest excuse.. but sometimes the battle is inside that person and talking about it only adds to the problem. Not great.. but it is reality sometimes. Sorry to hear that man.
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