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Turned a small break into disaster. Any ?

memoboy

By memoboy
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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memoboy Member

memoboy

Posted
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I’ve been trying to get back with my ex as the love was real and she didn't want to break up at all. But I think I've made 1000 mistakes and it's too late.

Any advice would be highly appreciated? I'm considering to give up and just be friends with my ex, at least for the time being.

 

Any insight would be greatly appreciated, if there’s still point to try? Thanks so much! It’s been 2 months from the breakup.

And just maybe, me not trying would actually help me in some way. In case the love was real in the end.

 

Here’s the story.

 

My ex didn’t even want to break up, she really really loved me, she wanted just some space and time to think as I had acted badly and not caring recently. But then I totally freaked out and turned into a manipulative crazy person. I’ve done every possible mistake any advice book tells you not to do. Really, 1000x mistakes. Pushing her further and further away and finally to the arms of another. So it just feels, it’s unsolvable. My ex tells me she still cares and has some feelings but she needs things to be simple and is with another dude for the time being. She also has some life choice and carrier choice issues, so she needs to work on those alone.

 

I also apologised for the wrong things in my apology letter. Which was too long too. About some stuff in the relationship. Yeah, some of those things were there but I overly magnified them and they weren’t that important or unsolvable compared to the love we had. The real reason of the actual breakup I now see, is my actions and manipulations I did over those two weeks.

 

We had umbrage and small fight (we never fought) but instead of caring, I went mad about her. Accusing what she did or didn’t do back. It wasn’t anything yelling or nothing, we never did that. Just more quiet umbrage. Then it quiet down a bit but I tried to resolve it with having sex which she rejected. Then I split and started to manipulate her how she has broken my heart and I want to fix everything and I love her. Really stupid stuff. I don’t know what happened to me or what kind of devil was working in me. Such a thing has never happened before. That went on with some better but mostly stupid actions for a week until the “pause” or “space” turned into a breakup. She couldn’t take the pressure. Because I demanded answers and fix things now. It didn’t fit to my head that she didn’t want to be with me. Things had been really great just a few weeks ago and now they were ****. And then I begged and bleaded and cried bigtime and gave gifts etc? All the attraction blew up. I involved her mother (at first just wanted to ask when she will come home from the party she was with her) but then ended up talking about it with her. She found out etc. I was such an idiot.

 

I ****ed up 2 years of beautiful love with 2 weeks.

Then I went to no contact for 25 days. worked on myself and my goals. Was devastated but got better. Had a goal. She went on a trip and came back. Then slowly built the contact. She initiated mostly. Then had a fun date, where she asked me but the next day saw her at a party with this other dude being friendly and confronted her about this and wanting to talk about the relationship. Being really drunk. Totally stupid move. She rejected me and saw that the old me is back. Then I really blew it. that pushed her to his arms finally. I apologised later that I was drunk but what was done was done.

 

How can one fix this ****?

 

We’re friendly. have been meeting and chatting a bit. Me more than her. She says she cares about me, I'm dear for her and she wants me in her life somehow but I think I've made too many mistakes over the short course of time.

 

I’m considering to send a short apology letter for this actually. To show that I now know what happened finally.

I’m seeing her anyway day after tommorrow. She wanted to bring me cake for birthday.

 

But was thinking to get this out of the way so on my birthday we can just hang out nicely.

 

I think I’m broken stuff beyond repair.

 

Thanks so much for the help!

Edited by memoboy
h20-50 Member

h20-50

Posted
Posted
I’ve been trying to get back with my ex as the love was real and she didn't want to break up at all. But I think I've made 1000 mistakes and it's too late.

Any advice would be highly appreciated? I'm considering to give up and just be friends with my ex, at least for the time being.

 

Any insight would be greatly appreciated, if there’s still point to try? Thanks so much! It’s been 2 months from the breakup.

And just maybe, me not trying would actually help me in some way. In case the love was real in the end.

 

Here’s the story.

 

My ex didn’t even want to break up, she really really loved me, she wanted just some space and time to think as I had acted badly and not caring recently. But then I totally freaked out and turned into a manipulative crazy person. I’ve done every possible mistake any advice book tells you not to do. Really, 1000x mistakes. Pushing her further and further away and finally to the arms of another. So it just feels, it’s unsolvable. My ex tells me she still cares and has some feelings but she needs things to be simple and is with another dude for the time being. She also has some life choice and carrier choice issues, so she needs to work on those alone.

 

I also apologised for the wrong things in my apology letter. Which was too long too. About some stuff in the relationship. Yeah, some of those things were there but I overly magnified them and they weren’t that important or unsolvable compared to the love we had. The real reason of the actual breakup I now see, is my actions and manipulations I did over those two weeks.

 

We had umbrage and small fight (we never fought) but instead of caring, I went mad about her. Accusing what she did or didn’t do back. It wasn’t anything yelling or nothing, we never did that. Just more quiet umbrage. Then it quiet down a bit but I tried to resolve it with having sex which she rejected. Then I split and started to manipulate her how she has broken my heart and I want to fix everything and I love her. Really stupid stuff. I don’t know what happened to me or what kind of devil was working in me. Such a thing has never happened before. That went on with some better but mostly stupid actions for a week until the “pause” or “space” turned into a breakup. She couldn’t take the pressure. Because I demanded answers and fix things now. It didn’t fit to my head that she didn’t want to be with me. Things had been really great just a few weeks ago and now they were ****. And then I begged and bleaded and cried bigtime and gave gifts etc? All the attraction blew up. I involved her mother (at first just wanted to ask when she will come home from the party she was with her) but then ended up talking about it with her. She found out etc. I was such an idiot.

 

I ****ed up 2 years of beautiful love with 2 weeks.

Then I went to no contact for 25 days. worked on myself and my goals. Was devastated but got better. Had a goal. She went on a trip and came back. Then slowly built the contact. She initiated mostly. Then had a fun date, where she asked me but the next day saw her at a party with this other dude being friendly and confronted her about this and wanting to talk about the relationship. Being really drunk. Totally stupid move. She rejected me and saw that the old me is back. Then I really blew it. that pushed her to his arms finally. I apologised later that I was drunk but what was done was done.

 

How can one fix this ****?

 

We’re friendly. have been meeting and chatting a bit. Me more than her. She says she cares about me, I'm dear for her and she wants me in her life somehow but I think I've made too many mistakes over the short course of time.

 

I’m considering to send a short apology letter for this actually. To show that I now know what happened finally.

I’m seeing her anyway day after tommorrow. She wanted to bring me cake for birthday.

 

But was thinking to get this out of the way so on my birthday we can just hang out nicely.

 

I think I’m broken stuff beyond repair.

 

Thanks so much for the help!

Honestly you can't.

 

You stay in contact and it will only push her away even more no matter what it is you say.

 

Go NC, she may she what she is missing, she may not but it will give you the time to work on yourself and you may realize there are better fish in the sea for you.

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