KeroX2 Posted September 17, 2014 Posted September 17, 2014 Hi guys, this is my first thread. Found this website on google and hoping this will help me.Just before writing here, I want to say that I am Indonesian and my English is quite limited, so please do mind me. Thank you. So, here's the story... I've met this Indonesian girl in a website. We have been talking since the past 5 months, constantly chatting on phone. Sadly she is from another city. She lives in Surabaya and I am living in Jakarta. It's about 1hr n 30mins flight. In the first 2 months, we chat from day to night, we even webcam sometimes. We clicked quite well. So I decided to went to her city, since it is just 1hr n 30mins flight. We agreed on meeting each other, she says that she is willing to guide me around in her city. But actually, she wasnt allowed to do that, because her mum restricts her from doing so. But fortunately she did meet me when I travel to her city for 3 days. It was a short trip, since I needed to work. Overall, it was fun. We went out everyday for the 3 days, n had lots of fun. Unfortunately, I did a very wrong move (in my opinion). Before I went back to my city, I wrote a card and told her that I am fond of her. But before that I did tried to hint her that i really like her. Sadly when I was on the way to the airport, she sent me a msg telling me that both of us wont be tgt because her mother 100% wont allow her to date a guy she knew from the internet. fYi: SHE is a mama's girl, she listen to almost her mother's words. so indirectly she rejected me. But after sometime, she msged me that she is very sorry n cried, saying that how good I am all these stuffs... So i asked her if she likes me, she replied me "I dont know". When I reached Jakarta, she was all fine... back to normal. we did still chat. But the next day, she suddenly told me that she doesnt want to talk to me anymore because she felt guilty since she had rejected me n she is still chatting with me thinking that she is giving me a false hope. After that, we stopped chatting for 1 or 2 weeks. But I start to chat with her again, because I still like her. I dont know if I should talk to her or should i just stop. And I cant control myself from talking to her. Slowly n bit by bit. we talked again. just that she tried to be more careful with her words. I can see that she is just treating me as a friend only. But I really want this to work. If anyone can give me any advice on this, pls give me some pointers. Because I am really in a dilemma now. Stop or continue ? Reason?
Zahara Posted September 17, 2014 Posted September 17, 2014 Stop. She is telling you she isn't interested in you that way. The only thing you're doing is inflicting pain and anxiety in your life by clinging on. And you can't make it work when there's only one person wanting it to work. It takes two and unfortunately she doesn't feel the same way about you. And contact isn't going to change her feelings. This is so fairly new. Stop now and go through those uncomfortable feelings. You'll feel much better if you just give yourself some time to overcome this. 1
Crila16 Posted September 17, 2014 Posted September 17, 2014 Haven't you ever read Romeo and Juliet? Their families hated each other...and the two lovers were so in love, they couldn't stay away from each other, no matter how much their families protested. Great love stories have come from two lover fighting against the odds. When you're in love, there is no logic. You just know you can't stay away from that person...can't be or live without them. With that being said...this was a very nice way of this girl telling you she wasn't interested after meeting you in person. You may have had the spark, but she didn't. She likes you as a person, but not a lover. That's why she's still communicating with you. You're her friend and nothing more.
Assasda Posted September 18, 2014 Posted September 18, 2014 I say continue on, but keep your feelings to yourself. Where you went wrong is, you put a lot of pressure on the girl telling her that you like her and all that other crap- You traveled to see her, ofcourse you like her. You also asked her a useless question. Keep your mouth shut and keep doing what youre doing, still try to meet her but keep your emotions to yourself
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