morphius Posted March 5, 2005 Posted March 5, 2005 So...Background, Me and my GF have been together for 16 months give or take. We have had a really rocky relationship, lots of breaking up, reconciliation and tough times. What made it so hard was that we were best friends for about 4 years before we both realized how we felt, Due to this we have struggled so hard to find that middle ground between lovers, soul mates and best friends. To cut to the chase...We have been fighting/arguing a lot lately, not about anything huge just smalltime bullsh*t. I have recently been placed on an Electronic Curfew Tagging System for driving offences which dictates that I have to be at my flat between 10:30 at night and 07:30 in the morning(we don't live together) This has caused a few problems due to her having a job in which she doesn't get home till 8pm some nights. We haven't really had much time for us, and of course I haven't been able to stay over. She broke up with me 8 days ago, Saying that she needed some time on her own and "some space", she was fed up with the fighting.... She immedietly initiated NC which was so tough for me to accept and hard for me to go along with. Apart from the first day of the break up I haven't contacted her. Yesterday I had 3 dozen roses delivered to her house with a note, nothing heavy just saying "sorry" "still love you" blah blah blah... To my surprise she called last night, we spoke for about an hour. Unfortunately it wasn't particularly what I wanted to hear... She said that she still loves me and misses me, But needs me to be strong and not fall apart like I normally do. She said that she can't commit herself to a promise of reconciliation but that in two weeks time we can meet up and REVIEW the situation. She said that she just needs some time to be herself and that we may be able to sort things out. Coincidently, Two weeks is roughly when this hideous plastic device comes off my leg. I guess I'm just looking for some advice really from you guys!! Like so many on here, I am falling apart without her, I find the whole concept of NC pant ****tingly scary but will do what she asks of me because I love her. She has said that I can e-mail her and call her if I want, I will e-mail at some point but I don't think I will call her, I think that it would show weakness to call. Any wise words would be welcomed...
Israfil Posted March 5, 2005 Posted March 5, 2005 She is asking for space. Give it to her. However, I advise all-out NC. No e-mails, no phone, no texts. Nadda. It will benefit you both. Good luck.
Author morphius Posted March 5, 2005 Author Posted March 5, 2005 I understand about the whole NC philosophy, But when we spoke she said that she needed to see that I could be strong and cope without her.. If there is NC then how will she know whether I am coping or not?
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