Author lostsoul6486 Posted August 27, 2014 Author Posted August 27, 2014 (edited) I just saw her at a school event and almost lost it. She came up to my friends (mutual friends) and I and said hi. I just said hi back. I felt frozen. It was so hard to see her. Thank goodness she didn't hang around us for long and went off to do her own thing. Either way, I would find myself glancing at her for some stupid reason. I have never felt anything like this. I actually had to leave because I started feeling sick. This is so different than the first time because I can't find the strength be angry at her. I am the reason why I'm hurting like this. I'm the one who trusted her. I let her back in and now I'm paying the price. Her new boyfriend wasn't there, but just knowing she has someone else kills me especially when I look at her. She caught me on my way out and told me that she "liked" seeing me today. I'm really falling apart right now. I never thought anything would hurt as much as when we first broke up, but I was wrong. This is way worse. Now I have work tomorrow and my first classes of the semester and I have to get some rest for a long day ahead of me but my mind is going 1000 miles per hour. I've always been an over thinker and over analyzer. I put my phone to charge in the living room because I want it far away from me. I want to call her and talk which is stupid because I don't even know what I would say. Her and I did everything together when we were dating. It was really hard to start letting go the first time and the hope of something similar starting up again seems to be even harder to let go of. Edited August 27, 2014 by lostsoul6486
Liverpool Bloke Posted August 27, 2014 Posted August 27, 2014 I just saw her at a school event and almost lost it. She came up to my friends (mutual friends) and I and said hi. I just said hi back. I felt frozen. It was so hard to see her. Thank goodness she didn't hang around us for long and went off to do her own thing. Either way, I would find myself glancing at her for some stupid reason. I have never felt anything like this. I actually had to leave because I started feeling sick. This is so different than the first time because I can't find the strength be angry at her. I am the reason why I'm hurting like this. I'm the one who trusted her. I let her back in and now I'm paying the price. Her new boyfriend wasn't there, but just knowing she has someone else kills me especially when I look at her. She caught me on my way out and told me that she "liked" seeing me today. I'm really falling apart right now. I never thought anything would hurt as much as when we first broke up, but I was wrong. This is way worse. Now I have work tomorrow and my first classes of the semester and I have to get some rest for a long day ahead of me but my mind is going 1000 miles per hour. I've always been an over thinker and over analyzer. I put my phone to charge in the living room because I want it far away from me. I want to call her and talk which is stupid because I don't even know what I would say. Her and I did everything together when we were dating. It was really hard to start letting go the first time and the hope of something similar starting up again seems to be even harder to let go of. I don't understand why You would wanna end on good enough terms for her to have the cheek to text You.No need to get angry band rant & rave to tell her to leave You alone(she will buzz of that thinking she was such a big deal) simply say,I really don't want to hear from you again,there is absolutely no point. Then enjoy NC with her desperately trying different pathetic excuses to get in touch(her ego wont be able to cope)Twist the tables Lost Soul,get your power back.
Author lostsoul6486 Posted August 27, 2014 Author Posted August 27, 2014 I don't understand why You would wanna end on good enough terms for her to have the cheek to text You.No need to get angry band rant & rave to tell her to leave You alone(she will buzz of that thinking she was such a big deal) simply say,I really don't want to hear from you again,there is absolutely no point. Then enjoy NC with her desperately trying different pathetic excuses to get in touch(her ego wont be able to cope)Twist the tables Lost Soul,get your power back. This girl would have the cheek to do pretty much anything. I told her I wanted nothing to do with her after she broke up with me the first time and she would still text me breadcrumbs every once in a while but I would ignore her. Finally, after 5 months of NC, she would call and text incessantly until I answered one night. She started off by saying that she thought it had already been a while since we broke up. I stopped her right there and ripped her a new one. I told her how I didn't want to hear from her, etc. She started crying and said the real reason she called was because she wanted another chance and you know the rest of the story. She came up and said hi to me yesterday as if I had been answering her texts these past couple of days (I have not) 1
Liverpool Bloke Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 This girl would have the cheek to do pretty much anything. I told her I wanted nothing to do with her after she broke up with me the first time and she would still text me breadcrumbs every once in a while but I would ignore her. Finally, after 5 months of NC, she would call and text incessantly until I answered one night. She started off by saying that she thought it had already been a while since we broke up. I stopped her right there and ripped her a new one. I told her how I didn't want to hear from her, etc. She started crying and said the real reason she called was because she wanted another chance and you know the rest of the story. She came up and said hi to me yesterday as if I had been answering her texts these past couple of days (I have not) Oh I would just enjoy the attention Lost Soul & even ask her new boyfriend to help stop her from pestering You.Let him do the hard work for You.She didn't have respect for You when she was cheating and hasn't any for You now,bullying You incessantly to literally try & force You into taking her back! she's just like a couple of girls I wasted my time on,total bad news.Tell her new bf to stop her,tell her parents,tell anyone who can help keep this girl well away from You.She knows that if she hovers around You,You will find it near impossible to find a new girl too.Its all her,her,her,total selfishness & she doesn't know what love is.Oh & ignore any crocodile tears too,she will try any trick in the book. 1
Author lostsoul6486 Posted August 29, 2014 Author Posted August 29, 2014 Oh I would just enjoy the attention Lost Soul & even ask her new boyfriend to help stop her from pestering You.Let him do the hard work for You.She didn't have respect for You when she was cheating and hasn't any for You now,bullying You incessantly to literally try & force You into taking her back! she's just like a couple of girls I wasted my time on,total bad news.Tell her new bf to stop her,tell her parents,tell anyone who can help keep this girl well away from You.She knows that if she hovers around You,You will find it near impossible to find a new girl too.Its all her,her,her,total selfishness & she doesn't know what love is.Oh & ignore any crocodile tears too,she will try any trick in the book. You know, I never looked at it that way. I'm in a lot of pain right now with what's been going on, but a lot of it has stemmed from the jealousy I have of her new boyfriend. I shouldn't be jealous. I'm her ex. I shouldn't be receiving this attention. If anything, he should be the one who's jealous. She supposedly told him that she's not over me and that she still loves me so she's basically treating him like a doormat and he's letting it happen. I hate to admit it, but I've been letting her do that to me too. I guess she just has a knack for finding guys who are okay with that because she knows they won't hurt her. And yeah, she does know that hovering around me would make it nearly impossible to move on. At the end of the day, as much as it sucks, the heart wants what the heart wants. Maybe it's because I just got home from a night of drinking with my friends, but I sometimes have these moments of clarity where I feel good about myself and I don't feel like the piece of **** she has been treating me as. I wish I could feel like this more often when I'm not a few beers in. All I have to look forward to now is the morning and that's always the worst because she's the first thing on my mind.
Requiem4Dreams Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 All I have to look forward to now is the morning and that's always the worst because she's the first thing on my mind. Anytime I have even a fleeting thought of my ex I think of something else immediately. Any sense of jealousy of the other man is associated with the simple thought "It's his problem now" and a chuckle. I know it's hard to get to a point where it's an acceptable response to the heart, but the greatest gift my ex gave me was letting me go for another. It gave me insight into just how amazing my life could be without someone who is incapable of honoring a commitment. The things that I could do since I was no longer tethered to someone I had to waste money on. It may sound incredibly mean and selfish but let's be honest here, this now needs to be all about you. Take her off the pedestal because she left, she's gone. She no longer deserves to be hailed as the queen of everything, because if she was everything would she not be by your side if she truly cared? Place yourself high upon that pedestal and cater to YOUR needs, YOUR desires, and make a masterpiece out of YOUR life, and self. I guarantee that not only will you enjoy it, but you will up your stock and that will get the interest of those that ARE worthy of you. 1
NoLeafClover Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 She doesn't love you...she says she loves you but has DOES NOT love you. You kept believing her words and fell for it again even though your gut feeling told you otherwise. Keep in mind one thing,..that is .. TALK IS CHEAP She did not prove and kept up to her words and that makes her a terrible girlfriend. Give yourself some time and you will find someone that means what she says and says what she means. 1
Liverpool Bloke Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 You know, I never looked at it that way. I'm in a lot of pain right now with what's been going on, but a lot of it has stemmed from the jealousy I have of her new boyfriend. I shouldn't be jealous. I'm her ex. I shouldn't be receiving this attention. If anything, he should be the one who's jealous. She supposedly told him that she's not over me and that she still loves me so she's basically treating him like a doormat and he's letting it happen. I hate to admit it, but I've been letting her do that to me too. I guess she just has a knack for finding guys who are okay with that because she knows they won't hurt her. And yeah, she does know that hovering around me would make it nearly impossible to move on. At the end of the day, as much as it sucks, the heart wants what the heart wants. Maybe it's because I just got home from a night of drinking with my friends, but I sometimes have these moments of clarity where I feel good about myself and I don't feel like the piece of **** she has been treating me as. I wish I could feel like this more often when I'm not a few beers in. All I have to look forward to now is the morning and that's always the worst because she's the first thing on my mind. Trust me Lost Soul, Your pain is temporary and her bf,although deserves none of your respect has simply taken and is now stuck with effectively a poisonous waste product that You are now totally free from.I was and still am in your situation.The vile one I was living with who had more than one secret boyfriend the whole time is still stalling on picking up her furniture after 6 weeks! I will sell it all on Monday if not collected.She will not hover & meaningless apologies do not affect anything,that creature is history 100%.I had 2 choices when I found her out.1.Get bitter & distrusting and be wary of all women(I.e emotionally destroyed,undateable & end up alone for life)or 2. Refuse to change,still wear my heart on my sleeve,believe in myself & immediately look for a real girl. I chose option 2. I am now deeply in love with an absolutely amazing,cool,funny and adorable girl & am quite in shocked just how huge the upgrade is in every way.Stay positive Lost Soul,believe in yourself,buzz off the pathetic texts from your ex but dont let her within a mile of You,You will then win this war & be with someone You deserve. Plus tell any new girls You find attractive what has happened?I did & it attracts the real Angels who want to look after You.The world is now your oyster if You refuse to let your ex destroy your positivity. 1
Author lostsoul6486 Posted August 31, 2014 Author Posted August 31, 2014 Well, this morning was pretty tough but I'm glad to say that I had a great day! College football season just started so I tailgated all day. It was tough at first because we went to every game together last year, but once I got there I made a concerted effort to just not think about her and let loose. This is the best day I've had in a while. I even met a girl and we've been texting back and forth. I'm obviously not looking for a relationship right now or anything, but just being flirtatious and exchanging teases with someone else was fun. Just getting her number has done wonders for my self confidence. It was great because she was all over the place jumping from tailgate to tailgate, but she kept coming back to me and she was the one who texted me after the game so I must have made a good impression. Also, thanks to all of you for the support thus far. I know not every day is going to be as good as this one, but I probably wouldn't have even gone out today if it wasn't for you guys responding to my posts and making me feel better when I'm feeling down. 1
Author lostsoul6486 Posted September 16, 2014 Author Posted September 16, 2014 I've been nc with her for a few weeks. She used to text me breadcrumbs that I would ignore. I just ran into her at school. She came up and said hi to the people I was with. She said hi to me too. I coldly responded with a "hi" and awkward hand wave. It was just in passing so she said bye to the group as a whole. I didn't even look at her as she walked away. Now I just feel like crap. I didn't think just seeing her in passing would make this feeling come back. She wants to pretend everything is ok between us and all I want to do is tell her how ****ed up of her it was to come back to me and give me hope just to leave me for another guy. I know it's best to bite my tongue so I will, but damn this hurts a lot more than I thought it would. Knowing her, I almost expected her to text me asking me why I was so cold but thank God she hasn't because I think I would explode. She's been on my mind pretty much every day but little by little I've been able to push her out. Just one second of interaction with her and I'm reeling again. I thought I was doing way better than I actually am.
d0nnivain Posted September 16, 2014 Posted September 16, 2014 Of course you are reeling. It has not been that long. Cut yourself some slack. Cold & aloof are fine. It's the whole, never let 'em see you sweat kind of thing. Yelling at her will only weaken your overall position. Go do something with your friends, even if it's just stuff yourself full of junk food. Play video games. Do anything to get your mind off her. You will be fine.
whichwayisup Posted September 16, 2014 Posted September 16, 2014 Don't give her the satisfaction of how you feel. Be aloof and in different if you run into her again, and if she texts you, ignore it. 1
Author lostsoul6486 Posted September 16, 2014 Author Posted September 16, 2014 Of course you are reeling. It has not been that long. Cut yourself some slack. Cold & aloof are fine. It's the whole, never let 'em see you sweat kind of thing. Yelling at her will only weaken your overall position. Go do something with your friends, even if it's just stuff yourself full of junk food. Play video games. Do anything to get your mind off her. You will be fine. Thanks. You know, I really want to cut myself some slack. I really do, but the **** I put up with from her is really pissing me off right now. I'm hurting, yes, but I feel like it's not even because I want her back even though I do miss her. It's because I was such a doormat. It bothers me that the last real conversation I had with her was her crying in my arms and telling me she's a ****ty person because she hurts everyone she loves including me. This was a day after I had gotten back from vacation to find out she was dating another guy while supposedly trying to work things out with me. She had left some stuff in my car that I had to give back to her and she broke down when I went to deliver them. Any respectable man would have given her her **** and left her there to cry. Of course I was there to console her and for what? She had literally just ripped my heart out and stepped all over it yet I held her and told her everything was ok when it was painfully obvious that it wasn't. I have never hated anyone. I've disliked people. Some people annoy me, but I have never truly hated anyone. I hate her though which in turn makes me hate myself. I hate her for being so manipulative and I hate myself for letting her manipulate me. I hate her for being so nonchalant about things as if everything is ok. I hate myself for letting her think it is and most of all I hate myself for caring so much. It bothers me that the heart and the mind are at such odds right now because I know this is all BS yet it still hurts.
Author lostsoul6486 Posted September 16, 2014 Author Posted September 16, 2014 Don't give her the satisfaction of how you feel. Be aloof and in different if you run into her again, and if she texts you, ignore it. Thanks. It's more a matter of when than if I run into her. I just froze when I saw her today and that really sucks. It's hard to be indifferent when you're angry and hurting.
d0nnivain Posted September 16, 2014 Posted September 16, 2014 All of that makes you human. Many people -- I'd go so far as to say most people -- have done dumb things for love. You seem like a good guy. Don't lose that part of yourself but be aware of any doormat tendencies & stick up for yourself in your next relationship. Yes, there will be a next relationship. If you are angry tonight, be angry & find a constructive way to deal with it but don't call her, & don't do anything really stupid. I found darts to be therapeutic, especially if the EX's picture happens to be in the middle of the board.
bubbaganoosh Posted September 16, 2014 Posted September 16, 2014 Thanks. You know, I really want to cut myself some slack. I really do, but the **** I put up with from her is really pissing me off right now. I'm hurting, yes, but I feel like it's not even because I want her back even though I do miss her. It's because I was such a doormat. It bothers me that the last real conversation I had with her was her crying in my arms and telling me she's a ****ty person because she hurts everyone she loves including me. This was a day after I had gotten back from vacation to find out she was dating another guy while supposedly trying to work things out with me. She had left some stuff in my car that I had to give back to her and she broke down when I went to deliver them. Any respectable man would have given her her **** and left her there to cry. Of course I was there to console her and for what? She had literally just ripped my heart out and stepped all over it yet I held her and told her everything was ok when it was painfully obvious that it wasn't. I have never hated anyone. I've disliked people. Some people annoy me, but I have never truly hated anyone. I hate her though which in turn makes me hate myself. I hate her for being so manipulative and I hate myself for letting her manipulate me. I hate her for being so nonchalant about things as if everything is ok. I hate myself for letting her think it is and most of all I hate myself for caring so much. It bothers me that the heart and the mind are at such odds right now because I know this is all BS yet it still hurts. After reading the above post all you have to do is when you see her, think back to how she treated you. She lied and she cheated on you and ask yourself if that what you want and could you do better. If you keep reminding yourself of that then you can get over it. She did you wrong and she'll get her just do in the future.
Phenomena Posted September 16, 2014 Posted September 16, 2014 She probably did it on purpose. She knows you're pathetic and a doormat and enjoys seeing you still wanting her badly. It makes her feel powerful.
Author lostsoul6486 Posted September 24, 2014 Author Posted September 24, 2014 Well, it's been over a week since this happened and I have heard nothing from her nor have I ran into her at school. I think maybe she finally got the hint that I want nothing to do with her. I have felt pretty good for the last few days. I still think about her a lot, especially in the mornings, which is stupid. I had a dream about her last night which really sucks because I barely ever remember my dreams, but I vividly remember this one and it has dragged me down. I've had my ups and downs but I've definitely had more ups. It's been a while since I've been this down. Nowhere to go but up I guess.
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