I used to like this guy romantically and now I'm his relationship counselor?

[ktragers]

I met this guy online and we went out on dates twice and while I liked him a lot, he was still struggling with getting over his ex so he was rather emotionally unavailable then. Being a good and honest guy he came clean to me about the situation and we decided to be friends, and I also assumed he obviously didn't feel anything romantically for me via the dates, which was very disappointing.

 

Since we've become friends, he's told me about his struggle with getting over his past relationship, which interestingly is something I can relate to pretty well since I was in a similar situation once. Through all the communication, it also turned out that we're incredibly similar personality-wise and everything else-wise, like we're almost the same person. Overtime we got to know each other better and can almost talk about anything. He calls me his kindred spirit and we've also gotten together to hang out as friends a few times.

 

The whole situation seems pretty cool as we've each gained a new friend that seems like we've known forever. However, it's also a bit weird that I'm like the only person he can talk about his issues with his ex with because he's ashamed and also feels like no one else would understand. So whenever he reaches out, most of the time it's about his emotions and new thoughts about that. Sometimes I even feel like he's a bit too self involved but we do talk and laugh about other topics pretty often too.

 

I don't know what my confusion is here. I can def see that we're bonding really well and we talk almost everyday and he's my biggest "fan" and commenter on Facebook. We're getting more and more comfortable around each other, but I wonder what I'll be to him after he's finally healed and moved on. Will I still be this friend whom he confides in, or if he'll realize that we're actually a good match, which I've already noticed? Right now it seems like he's exposed too much of his "real" side to me that he doesn't care if I don't like that side or not.

[BluEyeL]

Sometimes men that are not ready for a relationship and are going through a difficult time, a hard divorce, have difficulties recovering etc., will use you as their therapist if you let them.

 

You can help him out as a friend if you want, but if I were you, I wouldn't put ANY hope into this guy working out as a dating prospect for you. You should either cut him off, or go ahead and date other people and see him strictly as a friend.

[HappyLove]

You're being kinda fake. You seem like you're only still communicating with him in hopes he'll like you. He seems like a waste of time dating wise. Move on. We both know even if he gave you a chance if she snapped her fingers he'll be right back with her. Save yourself from a world of hurt and find yourself an emotionally available man worth your time.

[preraph]

I wouldn't hold out much hope for him converting to romantic. I think if he was having some intense romantic feelings, even though he's torn up about the break up, he'd either be expressing that or just trying to have sex or something.