Michael 93 Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 Those of you who have followed my story, you will be well aware that me and my ex work with each other albeit at different offices. Well last week I made the decision to finally up and leave. I am at a place where I feel I am a lot stronger than previously. I feel a lot better and when happy I feel good. Something I have not in a long time. The only thing holding me back from totally detaching I feel is my work. I regularly have to hear my ex on the phone to a colleague or leave messages for managers or how she gets picked by the directors to meet the prince (queens son) True story btw.....My manager actually selected me but her manager had got the e-mail in first. Man I was pi**ed off for about a week over that one..Cant wait to see that advertised all over the work page You see its little things like that, that still give me that sinking feeling every time I hear about them. Its that type of news that makes me feel terrible and depressed every time I hear them. If I don't hear that stuff I'm ok. I'm getting by, I'm keeping busy and getting stuff done. Its time now. Its finally time to try and remove all of these memories of this woman from my life. I feel that is the only way I'm going to truly get over this fully. I decided this a week ago, updated my profile and started applying, had some exciting news since then too which is good. I loved this place, it has given me great memories.. I've been here since apprentice level and its extremely sad that I feel this way now but it needs to be done. I just find it difficult that this has come to this. Its a shame really, I guess I want to see if you guys think im weak to do this?? By the way my company doesn't exactly pay fantastic wages which is another bonus but I have made some great friends here and met the woman that brought my to this site here. Kind of a sad day today for some reason. Hope you are all well.. Mike 1
tim_tom Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 I've read your whole story, surprised you are still effected by her. Hasn't it been 2 years? (I am not making fun, I am 5 weeks post BU and really hope I don't have 2 years of this crap to look forward too)
Author Michael 93 Posted September 15, 2014 Author Posted September 15, 2014 I've read your whole story, surprised you are still effected by her. Hasn't it been 2 years? (I am not making fun, I am 5 weeks post BU and really hope I don't have 2 years of this crap to look forward too) Haha. It feels like 2 years man!! Only kidding. Nope 9 months post B/U 2 months NC 9 months seems like 9 minutes mate seriously. Don't rush. Keep busy and implement as many positive changes as possible. My friends Chi townD and Simon Phoenix are excellent figures around this place and have helped a lot of people out. Check them out. Mike
BC1980 Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 I think you did the right thing. You can't move on when you keep seeing or hearing her. That's too much to take on. My ex is back at the same place I work, and, while the chances of seeing him are slim, just the thought that he is lurking around gives me pause. It kind of gets to me if I think about it too much. I'm definitely thinking of looking for another job next year. I'm giving it a few months to see if it works, but I'll leave in a heartbeat if it hinders me from moving on. I think a new start is great. For me, it's like the entire place is tainted because we met at work. The entire place will be forever linked with him. 2
Author Michael 93 Posted September 15, 2014 Author Posted September 15, 2014 I think you did the right thing. You can't move on when you keep seeing or hearing her. That's too much to take on. My ex is back at the same place I work, and, while the chances of seeing him are slim, just the thought that he is lurking around gives me pause. It kind of gets to me if I think about it too much. I'm definitely thinking of looking for another job next year. I'm giving it a few months to see if it works, but I'll leave in a heartbeat if it hinders me from moving on. I think a new start is great. For me, it's like the entire place is tainted because we met at work. The entire place will be forever linked with him. Hey BC..Exactly. My thoughts exactly, we also met at work so its like everything is linked and ..."remember when" Its time to push past that now and literally eradicate everything from my thought pattern, I have done the best I can whilst at work but I'm at the point where I don't want to hear anything at all. By moving on I am getting rid of that anxiety and starting a fresh. I wont have to worry about the next internal call I pick up. I feel bad it has taken over my life like this.. But I need to move on and develop. Planning on talking to Chi asap to discuss if he knows much about working abroad..and anyone else who knows about this kind of thing?? Hope your ok BC. I know how anxiety can still set in. I think working together makes things that whole lot worse. We should be proud of how far we have come. Mike 1
BC1980 Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 Hey BC..Exactly. My thoughts exactly, we also met at work so its like everything is linked and ..."remember when" Its time to push past that now and literally eradicate everything from my thought pattern, I have done the best I can whilst at work but I'm at the point where I don't want to hear anything at all. By moving on I am getting rid of that anxiety and starting a fresh. I wont have to worry about the next internal call I pick up. I feel bad it has taken over my life like this.. But I need to move on and develop. Planning on talking to Chi asap to discuss if he knows much about working abroad..and anyone else who knows about this kind of thing?? Hope your ok BC. I know how anxiety can still set in. I think working together makes things that whole lot worse. We should be proud of how far we have come. Mike Working together is a real problem when it ends. It also sucks because people at work know you as a couple, and you feel like a sideshow. You want desperately to move on, but you keep getting pulled back into it. Just the other day, someone at work was telling me she was sure my ex and I would get back together. I don't need that at work. 1
Magnet Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 Working together is a real problem when it ends. It also sucks because people at work know you as a couple, and you feel like a sideshow. You want desperately to move on, but you keep getting pulled back into it. Just the other day, someone at work was telling me she was sure my ex and I would get back together. I don't need that at work. Ha, I know just the feeling! I'm the same- probably got it worse than you or Mike93... I work at the same place as my ex too. I have to walk past her on the stairs 3 x a day and highly likely I will pass her in the corridors. Today at lunch in the basement diner I was preparing my lunch to pop in microwave, guess who walks down, turns her cheek in the other direction and collects a glass of water from right next to me without so much saying a word or exchanging a glance.....! Feeling is mutual though, I don't want to talk to her and the only way I can cope is to treat it as a 'game' of not blinking first and just accepting the **** situation I am in. It does get easier... (So far!!) I guess it's the price you pay for dipping your pen in the company inkwell lol! I will get a new job eventually but right now I am enjoying my job and I need to see my commitments and projects through. 2015 will make the move if I can to the right company.
Magnet Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 Anyway congrats to you Mike 93 for venturing out in the unknown, it will be a great adventure and hope you get a new job soon! I am sure you will move on much quicker.
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 16, 2014 Posted September 16, 2014 I moved 425 miles away. Now when I see the type of car she has, I KNOW it's not her. No chance of running into her, anywhere. And that feels nice!! 1
Author Michael 93 Posted September 25, 2014 Author Posted September 25, 2014 (edited) So.. Yesterday was the day my ex and another 3 apprentices from my company went to meet the Prince (Queen's Son) For an apprenticeship event that my company was invited to, one of the girls works in my office, I have previously asked her not to mention anything about her when she comes in and when colleagues ask questions.. Firstly I was pretty Piss** initially for them not asking me, purely because I have been here since trainee stage and have been the face of campaigns before but that was by the by. I decided to book the day off because I just didn't want to hear much about it. Today I gets into work, Literally signed into the staff homepage and BAM! Pictures everywhere. Our apprentices meet Prince. And there she was. Don't even recognise her any more man. Even my co-workers have said "mate look at this picture she has gone downhill since leaving you" Some pictures were quite unflattering but others she looked great. Next I'm sitting in the office and the managers come in with a local newspaper "oh look our kids are in here!! and literally gave a copy to every sector" there she was again, laughing and joking with the Prince having pictures meeting and greeting. This S*** has just really got on my tits man.. I'm sitting here kinda fuming. I'm not like absolutely gutted but I can feel it do you know what I mean?? I'm not expecting a response as people may feel I'm going on about it a bit, I just need to vent and get this off my mind. This is just getting too much for me I constantly have a few days a week where I feel quite crap. I am scared of the fact I still feel something about this girl Its driving me crazy Edited September 25, 2014 by Michael 93 added words
Simon Phoenix Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 Just keep sending out that resume man. And don't talk to her. Only real advice.
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