texts and mind games guys do

[liove]

ok so i was dating this guy and i felt that he was beginning to lose interest. I texted him twice he didnt answer so i let him go and deleted his number.

One night in the middle of the week, 2 weeks after my last unasnwered text, a new but known number writes to me to see how i am doing and to tell me that he was really really busy.

I know it's all bullsh*t but i was really happy to receive his text.

Anyway, i decided not to reply. Then, 5 days after, on a weekend day, in the evening i receive another text for this same guy who tells me indirectly that he is thinking of me and he hopes that i am well.

So i decided to reply the next day. i didnt ask any questions, i just told him that i was fine and that i am happy to hear from him.

And now, no sign (it's been a day only i know i am impatient but i cannot take it anymore) i mean ok, he wrote me, i answered, and now what?! i have parents and friends who ask me everyday how am i doing...i dont need him for that

 

The problem is that i am dating someone new, but i really like the text guy after his text, i stopped seeing this one and now he is mad at me and the one i like doesnt seem to be in a hurry to ask me out again...

 

why do guys do that? what are your intentions? i dont get it! dont know what to do, whether ask him directly or call him or ignore him forever?...all i know is that i like him A LOT!

is there any chance that he might badly play 'hard to get' as well?

Edited September 15, 2014 by liove

[Assasda]

How are you texts are the lamest texts ever.

 

Maybe I'm missing something, or you just like lame dudes

[liove]

i didnt quote exactly his words, the idea of his text was this one...anyway, that's not the point ) each person has his own preferences

[Conners]

ok so i was dating this guy and i felt that he was beginning to lose interest. I texted him twice he didnt answer so i let him go and deleted his number.

One night in the middle of the week, 2 weeks after my last unasnwered text, a new but known number writes to me to see how i am doing and to tell me that he was really really busy.

I know it's all bullsh*t but i was really happy to receive his text.

Anyway, i decided not to reply. Then, 5 days after, on a weekend day, in the evening i receive another text for this same guy who tells me indirectly that he is thinking of me and he hopes that i am well.

So i decided to reply the next day. i didnt ask any questions, i just told him that i was fine and that i am happy to hear from him.

And now, no sign (it's been a day only i know i am impatient but i cannot take it anymore) i mean ok, he wrote me, i answered, and now what?! i have parents and friends who ask me everyday how am i doing...i dont need him for that

 

The problem is that i am dating someone new, but i really like the text guy after his text, i stopped seeing this one and now he is mad at me and the one i like doesnt seem to be in a hurry to ask me out again...

 

why do guys do that? what are your intentions? i dont get it! dont know what to do, whether ask him directly or call him or ignore him forever?...all i know is that i like him A LOT!

is there any chance that he might badly play 'hard to get' as well?

 

I don't think he's playing games, 2 weeks is a long time to text back! It would tell me or any normal girl he's just not that interested and is probably dating around and has you on the back burner. Playing hard to get would be 3 days tops I think. My boyfriend admitted to playing stupid games like this when we first started dating but he said he got frustrated when I didn't bother to follow up with a second message (I'm really stubborn) He never went more than 3 days before replying or initiating a conversation.

 

Texting is a dumb and frustrating in dating and new relationships. If a guy took two weeks to reply to me I wouldn't even bother with him unless there was a legitimate excuse and apology. A guy I saw twice didn't reply after two messages once so I just deleted his number, never heard from him again either. Turns out he was a massive player anyway.

[doeblin]

Guys don't play hard to get - they f*ck other girls.

[liove]

i know that, i know he might date other girls, (i date other guys too so i dont see where the problem is) but why does he come back if he is not interested in me then? if he is soooo f*king other girls, why would he bother with me?

i am not saying you are not right, 'cos i'm sure you are but maybe i should give him the benefit of the doubt and believe he might not be an assh*le...or am i too naive?

[Conners]

i know that, i know he might date other girls, (i date other guys too so i dont see where the problem is) but why does he come back if he is not interested in me then? if he is soooo f*king other girls, why would he bother with me?

i am not saying you are not right, 'cos i'm sure you are but maybe i should give him the benefit of the doubt and believe he might not be an assh*le...or am i too naive?

 

I'm sorry I think you are naive, there is always a chance that he is not an ******* but it's a very slim chance. I was just as naive when I was 18-19. I'm not that much older now but I've had a couple of guys do the exact same thing to me and I've learned my lesson (I have also watched the movie "He's just not that into you" wayy too much.) You are his backup plan. When a guy really likes a girl he won't do this to them, he puts most of his time and energy into one girl and would want to see her and talk to her more than once every couple of weeks.

 

You said there's nothing wrong with dating around, you are right. However as soon as this d-bag messaged you, you dropped the other guy you were seeing straight away because you really liked this guy. This is what happens when you really like someone.. he hasn't done the same for you, he hasn't made f all effort in even contacting you either. Just delete his number again, if he likes you, he will prove it to you properly.

[doeblin]

He was testing the waters... to see how you react.

 

Maybe, your answer was terse, so he may think you are not that interested. It's only been a day though. Be patient. Don't be too eager. He is just a bloke.

 

 

He most likely just wants to be FwB.

The first few paragraphs of your original post suggest that you are Plan C. Nowhere near priority.

 

If he was seriously romantically interested, he would make the effort, right?

 

You can send him signals, a playful text or whatever, if you want him to pursue.

[Toodaloo]

but why does he come back if he is not interested in me then? if he is soooo f*king other girls, why would he bother with me?

 

Because why would you just have strawberries when you can top them with cream? Or if the girl you really wanted to have sex with saw you were being an arse and ditched you why not going back to the girl you think you can get lucky with. Change the contact name to "asswipe" in case he texts/ calls again and ignore any further contact from him.

[liove]

He was testing the waters... to see how you react.

 

Maybe, your answer was terse, so he may think you are not that interested. It's only been a day though. Be patient. Don't be too eager. He is just a bloke.

 

 

He most likely just wants to be FwB.

The first few paragraphs of your original post suggest that you are Plan C. Nowhere near priority.

 

If he was seriously romantically interested, he would make the effort, right?

 

You can send him signals, a playful text or whatever, if you want him to pursue.

 

no, my answer was really nice and i think that's the problem, he saw that i am still being nice to him.

 

anyway, i am not sending him anymore signals

i was thinking more of "if he does not answer in 3 days, i will send him a "nice text to finish with it"

[liove]

Because why would you just have strawberries when you can top them with cream? Or if the girl you really wanted to have sex with saw you were being an arse and ditched you why not going back to the girl you think you can get lucky with. Change the contact name to "asswipe" in case he texts/ calls again and ignore any further contact from him.

 

it's funny i have the impression that you are describing me when we were dating.

i refused to sleep with him because i was afraid he was an arse. he knows i have a loooot (too much) principles so i am the last person with whom he might get lucky, and he knows it.

[Toodaloo]

He is using you.

 

You may be happy with that but why waste time, effort and the cost of the text on a person who is using you?

 

Send a hello text to your new chappy instead. He might be worth it.

[Conners]

no, my answer was really nice and i think that's the problem, he saw that i am still being nice to him.

 

anyway, i am not sending him anymore signals

i was thinking more of "if he does not answer in 3 days, i will send him a "nice text to finish with it"

 

Please don't. He doesn't deserve a nice message from you.

I think you're grasping at straws here, by messaging him a final "goodbye" you are wanting a response from him to convince you otherwise.

 

It's not like you've had sex with him yet? Just let it go.

[liove]

i dont get it..he is using me for what? i wont sleep with him unless i am sure he is intersted

i am not richer than him

i dont posses an ultra magic superpower that no one other person in the world have

 

so why using me? why losing his time and mine for nothing?

[doeblin]

Please don't. He doesn't deserve a nice message from you.

I think you're grasping at straws here, by messaging him a final "goodbye" you are wanting a response from him to convince you otherwise.

 

It's not like you've had sex with him yet? Just let it go.

 

 

OP, listen to Conners.

 

 

The bloke doesn't seem like a great catch. He just wants one thing, and you are too invested emotionally already. Don't let him break your heart.

 

so why using me? why losing his time and mine for nothing?

 

He is not using you... yet. He just wants to.

 

Ignore him and move on.

[liove]

OP, listen to Conners.

 

 

The bloke doesn't seem like a great catch. He just wants one thing, and you are too invested emotionally already. Don't let him break your heart.

 

 

 

He is not using you... yet. He just wants to.

 

Ignore him and move on.

 

i wont send him any message, i know myself very well, i juste say things without doing it.

 

anyway, i understand what you're saying but i dont know if it's true.i mean it might be a possibility definitely.

anyway i've deleted his number...

[Conners]

i dont get it..he is using me for what? i wont sleep with him unless i am sure he is intersted

i am not richer than him

i dont posses an ultra magic superpower that no one other person in the world have

 

so why using me? why losing his time and mine for nothing?

 

He hasn't used you yet. His lack of messages is probably due to the fact he knows you won't sleep with him until he is interested.

 

Some guys will pretend to be interested to get you to sleep with them.

THIS GUY is too lazy to even do that.

 

Why would you tell him you wouldn't have sex with him until you knew he was interested.. you gave him the opportunity to at least make an effort to get into your pants by being interested. He's a douche and I hope you don't sleep with him ever because seeing as how much you are stressing over a text from him, you will get hurt.

 

Don't tell guys things like that in the future. Comes off as a bit needy and guys tend to like girls who at least act more laid back.

[liove]

He hasn't used you yet. His lack of messages is probably due to the fact he knows you won't sleep with him until he is interested.

 

Some guys will pretend to be interested to get you to sleep with them.

THIS GUY is too lazy to even do that.

 

Why would you tell him you wouldn't have sex with him until you knew he was interested.. you gave him the opportunity to at least make an effort to get into your pants by being interested. He's a douche and I hope you don't sleep with him ever because seeing as how much you are stressing over a text from him, you will get hurt.

 

Don't tell guys things like that in the future. Comes off as a bit needy and guys tend to like girls who at least act more laid back.

 

i never told him that my god!!! do you think i am that stupid?! but he got the point that i dont sleep with everyone.

 

ok he knows i wont sleep with him unless he is interested, he is too lazy to pretend to be interested then why the f* is he writing to me and then stop replying?!?!

 

possible answer: because he wants to get in my pants;

i replied: bingo for him!

than why doesnt he take advantage of it or at least try?

 

i think it's a bit contradictory what you're saying.

he also knows i love challenges, so he might play the "seduction game" and he is damn good at it!!!!

[doeblin]

ok he knows i wont sleep with him unless he is interested, he is too lazy to pretend to be interested then why the f* is he writing to me and then stop replying?!?!

 

possible answer: because he wants to get in my pants;

i replied: bingo for him!

than why doesnt he take advantage of it or at least try?

 

It's only been a day.

And you are Plan C.

And he is lazy. ("How are you?" is the least creative text ever. I mean, c'mon.)

[Conners]

i never told him that my god!!! do you think i am that stupid?! but he got the point that i dont sleep with everyone.

 

ok he knows i wont sleep with him unless he is interested, he is too lazy to pretend to be interested then why the f* is he writing to me and then stop replying?!?!

 

possible answer: because he wants to get in my pants;

i replied: bingo for him!

than why doesnt he take advantage of it or at least try?

 

i think it's a bit contradictory what you're saying.

he also knows i love challenges, so he might play the "seduction game" and he is damn good at it!!!!

 

Sorry my mistake.

I just mean he is keeping you on the hook by messaging you incase another girl doesn't work out..

Hope that makes sense