385 Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 Hey! So my biggest issue with dating is that initial approach. I am always torn between approaches. Worst part is, you only get to use one and can't go back and use another. I would like to get your thoughts. A little about me: I'm not bad looking and am decently educated. Approaches: 1) Witty line: Try to come up with a witty line about the situation. I don't prefer this one because it can be tough to come up with a witty line on the spot. And, I've read and heard many 'pick up' lines and frankly I feel most of them are really dumb. Like I wouldn't even laugh. However, girls seem to like witty lines... 2) Small talk: This is my preferred method. I would say something like Hey, what are you drinking? Hey, have you been to this bar before? Hey, you like this type of music? etc... However, everyone says this is boring... 3) Compliment: I haven't really tried this one because it's hard to come up with a genuine one that isn't coming on too strong but I would like to try this one in the future. Question: Which approach is preferred? I also have some general observations that I would like to hear your opinion on. 1) I generally switch between witty/small talk and frankly I don't really see much of a pattern. This leads me to believe that it doesn't matter what approach you use if she's interested in you. As long as you aren't weird, creepy, etc... the approach does not matter. 2) The only pattern I've found is it seems like older women, 24+ prefer the small talk and the younger women 21-24 prefer the lame pick up lines. Obviously, if your witty line is actually, witty, that's a different story...but like I said, hard to come up with a genuine witty line on the spot. 3) I also feel like the more educated you are, the less you are into the lame pick up lines. Comments?
Mister Zen Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 I was a PUA in my 20's so I have cold approaching down pretty well. The truth about approaching is every woman is different. There is no magic bullet. You can use the same line on 20 women and you will get 20 different reactions. This is why "be yourself" really is the best advice. I only learned that after years of PUA practice. With that said. There are some ice breakers that work pretty well. Usually situational ones like: -Asking for directions -Talking about the whether But it all depends on the situation you find yourself in. Supermarket? Coffee shop? Night club? Library? It all depends. Another thing to remember is your success depends on how open the woman is to meeting men. If she is very open almost any opening line will work. If she is closed off, no opening line will work.
Author 385 Posted September 15, 2014 Author Posted September 15, 2014 (edited) I was a PUA in my 20's so I have cold approaching down pretty well. The truth about approaching is every woman is different. There is no magic bullet. You can use the same line on 20 women and you will get 20 different reactions. This is why "be yourself" really is the best advice. I only learned that after years of PUA practice. With that said. There are some ice breakers that work pretty well. Usually situational ones like: -Asking for directions -Talking about the whether But it all depends on the situation you find yourself in. Supermarket? Coffee shop? Night club? Library? It all depends. Another thing to remember is your success depends on how open the woman is to meeting men. If she is very open almost any opening line will work. If she is closed off, no opening line will work. Thanks! Yeah, it does depend on the woman I agree. But from what you've listed, seems like the small talk approach is better? What do you like to say at the bar/club? That's where I encounter the most women... Be yourself is something I try to tell myself all the time because 1) it makes things easy as it's easy to be yourself and 2) you want to know if she's interested in who you are. Edited September 15, 2014 by 385
Mister Zen Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 Thanks! Yeah, it does depend on the woman I agree. But from what you've listed, seems like the small talk approach is better? What do you like to say at the bar/club? That's where I encounter the most women... Be yourself is something I try to tell myself all the time because 1) it makes things easy as it's easy to be yourself and 2) you want to know if she's interested in who you are. In bars and night clubs I usually ask her what she's drinking. If she isn't drinking, I ask her why. I also might comment on her behavior. If she is standing around bored, I'll ask her why she isn't dancing. If she is dancing a lot, I'll tell her I like her dance moves and I want her to teach me. After that you just ask for her name and go from there. If you are looking to take someone home for sex then its best to touch her inappropriately. Don't go for the breasts, but touching her butt is a good test. If you are looking for a relationship.. then just chat with her, tell her she is cute and ask for her number. Then go back to your friends.
Author 385 Posted September 15, 2014 Author Posted September 15, 2014 In bars and night clubs I usually ask her what she's drinking. If she isn't drinking, I ask her why. I also might comment on her behavior. If she is standing around bored, I'll ask her why she isn't dancing. If she is dancing a lot, I'll tell her I like her dance moves and I want her to teach me. After that you just ask for her name and go from there. If you are looking to take someone home for sex then its best to touch her inappropriately. Don't go for the breasts, but touching her butt is a good test. If you are looking for a relationship.. then just chat with her, tell her she is cute and ask for her number. Then go back to your friends. Cool cool, actually what you described is exactly what I'm comfortable with and prefer to do. In fact, I use those lines too haha. All the pick up line crap is just not me.
Destined2B Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 Wow! The ratio of views to replies in this thread is staggering, to say the least. The best way to be yourself,OP, is to start with introducing yourself and then saying why you approached. Everything else is a waste of time, IMO.
Assasda Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 Dont ever "Start off" with introducing yourself. See what is the woman is about before you do that. The woman coiuld be totally closed off, then introducing yourself would be foolish
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