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Posted

I am quoting this from a book I have just read 'The Wrong Knickers" by Bryony Gordon. It's not a book about affairs just a girl whose 20s did not live up to what she envisaged and she was involved in an affair. I guess it is how I felt.

 

 

"When I look at Michael, I feel sophisticated by proxy. I feel I have come a long way from the feckless and witless men of my past, from snowboarding Sam with his single bed and his love of pot. The truth, of course, is the complete opposite. If anything, I have gone back not just steps, but whole miles....Michael is a bit of class, despite the fact that anyone else would see his behaviour as anything but. He has a bit of money and stability, even though that stability belongs to someone else...And when I look back on my chequered love life, I will realise that while Michael and Sam and all the other men appear to have little in common, there is one huge bonding factor, and that is their unavailability. None of them are really there for me, be it physically or geographically.

Posted

I think having a continued attractions towards unavailable people is a result of two things or a combination of both

 

1) protection. Fear of true commitment

 

2) validation. Having the wiles to pull away anothers partner add even more

 

Both are products of low self esteem and self worth. Fear of not being enough to maintain a relationship, and the tool used to make one feel better about that self imposed short coming.

 

Just my opinion.

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Posted

Girls like excitement until they want maturity and responsibility in a man.

 

my first gf, expected me to be into partying and casual drugs. Though the few peeps i hung around were in contrast to me. i quickly distanced myself from affairs that i felt there was a bit of wreckless desires.

 

 

I guess like being naive to such things, as I don't need any boost of excitement to be exciting for the one that i'm in connex with. Lets say I am a bad boy in being an enabler to passions, not drugs and careless activities.

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