Natsu21 Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 Never mind! That was not what I said, and I'm not in the mood to explain. It's all good Lol. Sorry, that was sarcasm. I knew what you meant.
Natsu21 Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 (edited) yes, from Chile why? Knew it. I had a couple of friend from Chile... The girls said that material wealth is a HUGE deal there. That explains our difference in opinion. I think what we can agree on is that OP needs to work on goals for himself. Heck, I was homeless a couple of times and I still got dates. I've known guys with 6 figures who couldn't get dates... And I got girls from all ages. Your culture is different from mine. OP's directive should be on what he wants. Trying to get rich and or stable makes me depressed. Too much focus on money. I just want to work to make a living for myself. Divorce rates have scared the crap out of me with marriage so I don't see myself getting married. Getting jobs these days isn't as easy as people think it is. Maybe in YOUR country but not in the USA. Things are steadily getting worse. But it hasn't stopped me from living. Edited September 14, 2014 by Natsu21
dclan Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 (edited) Knew it. I had a couple of friend from Chile... The girls said that material wealth is a HUGE deal there. That explains our difference in opinion. I think what we can agree on is that OP needs to work on goals for himself. Heck, I was homeless a couple of times and I still got dates. I've known guys with 6 figures who couldn't get dates... And I got girls from all ages. Your culture is different from mine. OP's directive should be on what he wants. Trying to get rich and or stable makes me depressed. Too much focus on money. I just want to work to make a living for myself. Divorce rates have scared the crap out of me with marriage so I don't see myself getting married. Actually, it has nothing to do with it, I know a few exchange students from USA at my university, that would describe america the same way you described chile. Its more of a socio-economical background thing, than the country itself, because you can find all types of people in any different country. When people date someone, not just for sex, but in order to build a future with someone, it all goes back to the persons expectation in life. A woman that comes from a wealthy background, with a college education, and a good paying job, may sleep with any kind of man she finds attractive, but it is unlikely she will marry a guy that doesn't share her goals in life (or that at least helps her getting there). Some women are happy with having a husband making minimum wage. Others want more. I'm not saying it is a good thing, but it is the truth PS: Honestly, I have to say that the different culture thing was a bit unsettling. Its not that I feel offended, but its just plain ridiculous to assume that women are different just because they are from another country. Specially because south america shares around 95% of the north american culture, with some small variations :rolleyes: PS2: Jobs are getting harder to find in every part of the world. Dude...grab a newspaper please! Edited September 15, 2014 by dclan
Natsu21 Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 Actually, it has nothing to do with it, I know a few exchange students from USA at my university, that would describe america the same way you described chile. Its more of a socio-economical background thing, than the country itself, because you can find all types of people in any different country. When people date someone, not just for sex, but in order to build a future with someone, it all goes back to the persons expectation in life. A woman that comes from a wealthy background, with a college education, and a good paying job, may sleep with any kind of man she finds attractive, but it is unlikely she will marry a guy that doesn't share her goals in life (or that at least helps her getting there). Some women are happy with having a husband making minimum wage. Others want more. I'm not saying it is a good thing, but it is the truth PS: Honestly, I have to say that the different culture thing was a bit unsettling. Its not that I feel offended, but its just plain ridiculous to assume that women are different just because they are from another country. Specially because south america shares around 95% of the north american culture, with some small variations :rolleyes: Hahahaha. Don't get me started on the whole socioeconomic thing. I dated an upper class woman and her parents hated me because I was poor(and because I was African American) Didn't go so well. But I'm 23. I don't have to worry about settling down.
dclan Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 (edited) Hahahaha. Don't get me started on the whole socioeconomic thing. I dated an upper class woman and her parents hated me because I was poor(and because I was African American) Didn't go so well. But I'm 23. I don't have to worry about settling down. Exactly...you are 23, you are young. Thats the whole point. Right now you may not care about it, since, as you said, your not worried about settling down. And at that stage of your life, dates are about sex, good looks, having a good time, etc. Like I said in my post, when woman get closer to 25 years old...they start to think about the future, they start to think about marriage, kids, etc. And some of them will want a lot more things, than just having a good time in bed and going to the movies. They will start to wonder about that house they want to buy, all the money those 3 kids will cost, putting those kids through college, buying them clothes, those expensive family trips, etc. At that point, doesn't matter how attractive you are, how good in bed you are. If they feel that they won't be able to have that bright succesful future with you, they will dump you. Even if you have godzilla between your legs, if they want that kind of life, they will go on to date someone else.. :o:o And the OP's case, seems to be exactly this one. He and his gf seem to be around that age, or getting there. Edited September 15, 2014 by dclan
Natsu21 Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 Exactly...you are 23, you are young. Thats the whole point. Right now you may not care about it, since, as you said, your not worried about settling down. And at that stage of your life, dates are about sex, good looks, having a good time, etc. Like I said in my post, when woman get closer to 25 years old...they start to think about the future, they start to think about marriage, kids, etc. And some of them will want a lot more things, than just having a good time in bed and going to the movies. They will start to wonder about that house they want to buy, all the money those 3 kids will cost, putting those kids through college, buying them clothes, those expensive family trips, etc. At that point, doesn't matter how attractive you are, how good in bed you are. If they feel that they won't be able to have that bright succesful future with you, they will dump you. Even if you have godzilla between your legs, if they want that kind of life, they will go on to date someone else.. :o:o And the OP's case, seems to be exactly this one. He and his gf seem to be around that age, or getting there. Yeah, my ex said the same thing. I want kids...I want to settle down. Dates a guy who keeps losing his job
jay1983 Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 OPeezy I'm gonna tell the best way to maintain NC. Find someone else. The sooner you do that, the quicker you forget about her and not worry about contacting her.
dclan Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 (edited) Yeah, my ex said the same thing. I want kids...I want to settle down. Dates a guy who keeps losing his job Like I said before, its not every person (its mostly about their personal expectations, and their background), but it is an important factor to some. Maybe she wants kids, and to settle down, and she doesn't mind doing so with someone who can't hold on to a job. Just because your ex wants to settle down with someone like that, doesn't mean ALL women want to date guys that can't keep jobs. A big number of women, want guys with good jobs and financial stability, others don't care. And if your ex is about the same age as you, she might not really pay attention to those things right now. Some women start to want this at 25, others at 31, others at 19, and so on (the number 25 is more or less the average) I think we've dragged this on for too long already. I do agree with what you said that the OP should work on himself and try to move on. My original post, was mostly explaining to him what was (in all probability) going on with his relationship, because most dumpees, usually can't understand what the hell happened to them. Edited September 15, 2014 by dclan
Natsu21 Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 Like I said before, its not every person (its mostly about their personal expectations, and their background), but it is an important factor to some. Maybe she wants kids, and to settle down, and she doesn't mind doing so with someone who can't hold on to a job. Just because your ex wants to settle down with someone like that, doesn't mean ALL women want to date guys that can't keep jobs. A big number of women, want guys with good jobs and financial stability, others don't care. And if your ex is about the same age as you, she might not really pay attention to those things right now. Some women start to want this at 25, others at 31, others at 19, and so on (the number 25 is more or less the average) I think we've dragged this on for too long already. I do agree with what you said that the OP should work on himself and try to move on. My original post, was mostly explaining to him what was (in all probability) going on with his relationship, because most dumpees, usually can't understand what the hell happened to them. True, but I also don't want the OP to feel like he's only validated by the amount of money he makes. No one should be. It hurts their self-esteem. He needs to know he has potential and that's all I was trying to perceive. Anyway, we've talked about this long enough, let other people comment, lol. Agree to disagree?
dclan Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 (edited) True, but I also don't want the OP to feel like he's only validated by the amount of money he makes. No one should be. It hurts their self-esteem. He needs to know he has potential and that's all I was trying to perceive. Anyway, we've talked about this long enough, let other people comment, lol. Agree to disagree? Of course, i wasn't trying to say that. In fact, its most probable his ex was probably acting lazy breaking up the relationship, before trying to fix it. agreeeeeeed Edited September 15, 2014 by dclan 1
SoThatHappened Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 Let me sum up what this person said in layman's terms. She thought she could do better than you, so she dumped you for someone she viewed as better. Happened to me too. But said girl got dumped...didn't work out. But please, don't worry about having a great job, looks, or reputation. You can have all of those things and women will still leave you. It's been proven. Just be a positive person with ambition, set on a goal and a passion for life and for your dreams, and women will be attracted to that. Don't let what you seem to "lack" in the financial or social department get you depressed. Cause trust me, you could be Bill Gates and still have trouble with relationships. Girls in their 20s have trouble figuring out what they want, so they try everything they can. You do the same and try different things. Enjoy life. It's the only one you got. Thread got hijacked a bit, but this needed to be quoted again. 100% agree with this
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