Michalzone Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 (edited) My boyfriend and I had been together for 7 years. When I met him he was a horrible mess. Drinking heavily, depressed and in debt. Despite of this i saw the raw diamond in the man and decided to ignore or learn to live with this and helped him out. Because he was being evicted from his house, I took him in, two months after we started our relationship and together with him we cleared his debts. His drinking had remained an issue but he had a job, did well and would constantly try to deal with this. As time went by, we had given each other our best and our worst and the past year and a half the relationship had become under a lot of strain due to mainly his drinking. We had been fighting more and spent very little time together. I turned to my friends and spent much time out of the house. Last February i left for a short family visit overseas and found out he had made a profile in an Asian dating site and took interest in a Chinense girl. When i got back we had discussed our situation, and he did admit wanting to break up. I was devastated but willing to put up a fight to save us, as i do live him. We had decided we will no longer live together but continue to see each other and see what can be done, after he told the Chinese girl he was no longer interested. He found a new place to stay and would spend the weekends there, as i work most weekends and would spend the week with him refusing to move out completely, with most of his belongings still in the house i live in. We spent 5 wonderful months rediscovering each other, talking, dating again and reconnecting on all levels. He kept his site claiming he is interested in Japanese culture chatting to both men and women and showing me all the correspondences to prove its innocent until he met a Japanese woman his age. In the beginning he claimed this is just like any other chat friend and on my second family visit, he stayed behind and informed me it had become more. When I got back he had told me she is his new girlfriend and he loves her. We live in Europe she in Japan, they had not spoken to each other yet, not by phone neither by video they have exchanged pictures and had set a date for her to come here in the end of November. I was devastated. He did insist on keeping seeing me and in the beginning said he is open to hanging out and more, and as I did love him i did recommend no contact in the beginning but was too weak to follow through. We would hang out and more, he would not tell her but last night i had just felt it is not working for me. The pain is too much to bear, and although right now i do not want him back i did live under the illusion that somehow as time will go by we will have a chance. I realised it is not the case and that although he has not met her je may be using me until she gets here or as back up if it does not work between them. I can not do this and told him that an occasional conversation via text is ok but I am suspending our interaction until he figures out what he wants because he claims he still loves me and does not know what he is doing. I told him i can not exist alongside her and told him i am clearing the field as he needs to figure out this thing with her. What now? How do i manage this? I am constantly wondering if it will work with them and what will become of me and how to deal with this blow. Tips? Anyone? Edited September 14, 2014 by Michalzone
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