dandt Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 I feel my marriage is coming to an end - emotionless and sexless for half a year now. While visiting my sister alone this past summer in NY I met a guy I really clicked with and we spent alot of time together such that it felt like dating - nothing physical happened but we went out to dinner a couple of times, went to see a play and talked for hours... I've since come back home to San Francisco and emailed the guy, but he has not replied - that was almost 2 weeks ago. I liked his profile picture on FB thinking that would let him know I was thinking of him and he could approach me. Nothing. Should I forget about him or be less vague/more clear and send him a short FB chat message? Also, I know he was the 'other man' once so I can guess he doesn't want to repeat history since I am not yet officially divorced nor do I want to cause him grief but I just wonder if he thinks we might have something to potentially build upon and, if so, if we could be friends for now.
J2911 Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 If he is evading you , there is reasons behind that. He may feel guilt and protecting his own heart. I would let him contact you when he feels ready to .
Mascara Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 I don't see how you can make it ANY more clear than sending an email and liking a photo. He hasn't responded to either, so what makes you think he's waiting for you to reach out? Imagine you met a guy. You went out but weren't that into him. He then sent you an email, but you decided not to reply since it wasn't going anywhere. A week or so later he interacted with you on FB. You ignored that too hoping he'd take the hint. THEN he called or texted you - by this time you're getting a bit annoyed about the whole thing, it certainly doesn't make you change your mind. Right?
Allumere Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 YOU ARE MARRIED. Knock this crap off. Either work on your marriage or get out but do not put this other person in the middle. He has sense enough to not get involved...he obviously learned a lesson when he was the other man. You aren't in highschool. Liking a FB picture...seriously?! YOU ARE MARRIED.
GemmaUK Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 It doesn't sound like he wants anything to do with you. If he did he would have replied or contacted you.
Author dandt Posted September 14, 2014 Author Posted September 14, 2014 Thanks to everyone for giving their honest opinion, even though some of the feedback was hard to swallow for my pride I guess I needed someone to give me a good shake. I just feel really detached from my life and have been for some time. I felt like we had such a vibe going when we were in NY. He always initiated those outings so I guess I thought that maybe he was willing to pursue something with me once my divorce is finalized. I guess I was wrong..
Mascara Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 Don't get disheartened. You have to have these experiences to truly value the real thing when it comes along.
Mascara Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 Oh and get divorced. I'm unclear whether you ARE actually separated.
FitChick Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 (edited) Why don't you and your husband go on one of those weekend marriage retreats and get impartial feedback and learn tools to save your marriage? Edited September 14, 2014 by FitChick
ExpatInItaly Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 He's probably learned his lesson and is smart enough not to get involved with a married woman again. He's not feeling it or he would have responded, so no, don't reach out. Why not focus on either improving or ending your marriage instead? Are you separated? Or are you playing around while your husband shares your bed at night?
true-love Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 Why don't you and your husband go on one of those weekend marriage retreats and get impartial feedback
Recommended Posts