Distance from my crush by eating my lunch somewhere else

[Darren2013]

I haven't pushed the avoidance thing too far by doing this but recently I have taken another step to avoid my crush by no longer eating my lunch in the employee lunchroom. As of 2 days ago I have changed locations and spend my lunch breaks in my car eating and drinking.

 

I've also made it a point to park my car as far away as possible from her car in the parking lot. I am very familiar with where she routinely parks her car so I can park my car at the farthest parking space available from her.

 

Problem is there's a good chance I will run into her in the company lunchroom and I just want to enjoy my lunch without getting all nervous because she is there. So I re-located to my car.

 

Besides that I am addicted to diet colas and she doesn't seem to like it that I drink that stuff. Even after we went into quiet mode there was one occasion last month when she saw me with a diet cola in my hand and just out of the blue said "You really shouldn't drink that. It is not good for you especially after what you have been through".

 

She is aware of my cancer history and the treatments I have done before. She talks about how the aspartame in diet cola might be feeding my cancer. Whether she is right or wrong about that is not really the main point here. I could get the sense that she called me out about drinking diet soda out of genuine concern for me. This isn't the first time she has gotten on me about drinking diet sodas.

 

So I made a decision to stop drinking diet colas in her presence since it obviously bothers her so much. That's all the more reason I now spend my lunch breaks in the car.

 

Unfortunately to my surprise she caught me yesterday in my car drinking a diet cola. She didn't say anything but she did glance over at me and then looked away with a sigh. I was really surprised to see her walk past my car since she parked way on the opposite side of the parking lot. It just happened that she went on break at the same time and was walking across the street to the gas station.

 

I try to stay far away from her when I can but sometimes I still run into her.

[Darren2013]

I'm just now recalling a time I believe it was sometime last year when I was talking to her normally and on a friendly level (only saw her as a friend at that time. My feelings were not nearly as strong as they are now) that she bought me a cheeseburger during her lunch-break.

 

Now it isn't unusual for her to go grab cheeseburgers for our work crew provided that they give her the money so that they all pay their way for their own cheeseburger. However I did not ask for a cheeseburger and yet she went ahead and bought me one. I didn't have to pay her or anything. Everybody else had to pay for their own except me.

 

I wasn't really hungry and so I told her no thank you and that she didn't have to do that. Her reaction was like "You don't want it after I bought it for you".

 

See back then I was not paying all that attention to what all this means or why she bought one for me without me asking or why she paid my way but would not pay anyone else's way. Does it really mean interest? Not necessarily. All it proves was that she obviously saw strong value in our relationship as colleagues and as friends too. I've had her phone number for the past 2 years.

 

I wasn't paying attention to all of this like I am now. Back then I was only concerned about the fact I wasn't hungry and wasn't interested in eating a cheeseburger.

 

So to those who say that I would know it by now if she liked me that's not always true. I would only know it if I was paying attention for a long time. The truth is it is only recently that I have been paying attention. Until recently my mind's focus has not been so much on her but on other things such as my health and spirituality.

 

I'm not a normal person and I don't pick up on clues or hints of interest very well whether it is romantic interest or interest in hanging out or just the fact that someone else sees high value in their relationship to me no matter what context that relationship is in.

 

Because of that I mistakingly give off the impression that I'm not interested in building a closer friendship or closer relationship. Even though I did buy her her favorite ice cream last Christmas my behavior probably confuses the hell out of her because I am unintentionally sending inconsistent messages.

 

What would you think if a colleague or friend bought you a treat but when you took the initiative to buy them a small lunch like a 2 Dollar burger they decline it? That's pretty much what happened here.

Edited September 14, 2014 by Darren2013

[spiderowl]

She sounds bossy. Why would anyone buy a burger for someone else without asking if they'd like one? I don't know why you have a crush on this girl. She sounds a bit domineering.

[Darren2013]

She sounds bossy. Why would anyone buy a burger for someone else without asking if they'd like one? I don't know why you have a crush on this girl. She sounds a bit domineering.

 

That's the kind of woman I like anyway.

[Gloria25]

What would you think if a colleague or friend bought you a treat but when you took the initiative to buy them a small lunch like a 2 Dollar burger they decline it? That's pretty much what happened here.

 

Well, depends...

 

Believe it or not, I bring food to work and keep candies available for anyone who wants it...

 

When I was in the military and I knew we were gonna be outside in the motor pool or doing inspection prep, I'd bring a cooler with Gatorade, water, juices. And, in the office environment, I even cooked and brought food to work.

 

Now as a civilian (and after one of my gfs saying not to cook, cuz you never know if someone is gonna blame you for a stomach ache) I bring doughnuts, snacks, pastries, bagels w/cheese and even those little cups with jello and fruits and I keep a filled candy jar.

 

I do it w/o asking a dime from anyone...So, I can't say if your co-worker was buying it for your personally or it's just her nature to buy stuff for people she knows.

[Darren2013]

Yeah there's too many ways it can be explained.

 

Ha just yesterday there was another example of her avoiding me again. We almost ran into each other in the parking lot. She was about to pass me but instead took a detour to deliberately avoid me. There's lots of parking spaces so instead of walking in my direction when she saw me coming she turned and walked 2 rows over to bypass coming in contact with me. I caught all this out of the corner of my eye. When we do pass each other I look away from her and pretend to look at something else.

 

I have taken another step further and avoided going to a gas station that I know she goes to. We used to always run into each other at this same gas station after work. Since I am familiar with her routine I have changed gas stations to go to. I don't care that it is an extra 10 minutes out of my way.

 

Now all I have to do is come up with a convincing cover story if any of our coworkers or anyone she knows happens to ask me why I stopped going to that gas station. It isn't likely that anyone will ask but you never know. I have to be prepared for possibilities of her using other coworkers to try to get information out of me about my recent behavior.

[Darren2013]

Well I suppose it is time for an update. I didn't have to work with my crush today but she did work in close proximity to me. She arrived at work at a much later time than I did.

 

So anyway I overheard a conversation between her and another coworker. I couldn't help myself but laugh at something she said. Then the coworker noticed I was laughing and he told her "Look he's laughing at you". I denied it and said "No I wasn't laughing at her I was laughing at you".

 

This happened twice at work where I couldn't hold back a laugh. This was probably a dead giveaway to my crush because one of the common signs of having a crush on someone is laughing at what they say even if it is normally not that funny.

[Darren2013]

I think some of the others at work have caught on to what is going on. It is not necessary to verbally broadcast that you have a crush on someone and people tend to pick up on it without you saying a word.

[Gloria25]

Well I suppose it is time for an update. I didn't have to work with my crush today but she did work in close proximity to me. She arrived at work at a much later time than I did.

 

So anyway I overheard a conversation between her and another coworker. I couldn't help myself but laugh at something she said. Then the coworker noticed I was laughing and he told her "Look he's laughing at you". I denied it and said "No I wasn't laughing at her I was laughing at you".

 

This happened twice at work where I couldn't hold back a laugh. This was probably a dead giveaway to my crush because one of the common signs of having a crush on someone is laughing at what they say even if it is normally not that funny.

 

Well, I think that's a good thing...If you continue to build rapport, that day when you're ready to ask her out, it won't be that awkward.

 

Also, the more communication between you two, hopefully you can get some "buying signals" to determine if she's interested in you...

[Gloria25]

I think some of the others at work have caught on to what is going on. It is not necessary to verbally broadcast that you have a crush on someone and people tend to pick up on it without you saying a word.

 

True ^^...The way people interact gives a lot of non-verbal signals that others are quick to pick up....

 

I was seeing his guy that was in another battalion and we ran across each other on a training exercise and we just exchanged a few words, then his superior officer walked up and was like "hello?"

[Darren2013]

I almost tripped over something today too when I walked past her. That would have been another dead giveaway. I have read that one of the signs of having a crush is becoming a little clumsy in their presence.