Lipitor11 Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 So, I decided to try OLD again, and a few guys messaged me, this one one in particular wrote me like 5 paragraphs about himself, gave me compliments, told me his life story. He seemed like a guy that I would want to meet, so I quickly replied back. He responded, then I responded then after that, he longer replied and poof he's gone! I'm like wth? Am I suppose to wait like 4 days to respond? Play hard to get? I mean, if I don't respond in a timely manner, then he will think I'm not interested, then move on. But if I reply quickly, I come off as desperate and its a turn off??? Is this how it works? Makes no sense.
Emissary Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 No, usually "nailed it!" pops in my mind though. I'm not afraid of clingy or desperate women. The quicker the reply the better, it means she's more invested in what you're saying, which makes it quicker and easier to get her on that first date with you. I took a real gamble today when I met this girl from Tinder for coffee. She was kind of ugly in most of her profile pics, but in person she's actually quite beautiful I think. After chatting for like an hour and a half we started talking about how we felt, we agreed we wanted to where things go and set up a more romantic walk through the park. I think like after 1 hour I decided, I can love this girl.
guest569 Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 It was probably nothing to do with you or the time you took to respond.. He probably found someone and deleted his profile. A lot of people on there are sort of hedging their bets whilst on their search until they find a partner.
ffw Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 So, I decided to try OLD again, and a few guys messaged me, this one one in particular wrote me like 5 paragraphs about himself, gave me compliments, told me his life story. He seemed like a guy that I would want to meet, so I quickly replied back. He responded, then I responded then after that, he longer replied and poof he's gone! I'm like wth? Am I suppose to wait like 4 days to respond? Play hard to get? I mean, if I don't respond in a timely manner, then he will think I'm not interested, then move on. But if I reply quickly, I come off as desperate and its a turn off??? Is this how it works? Makes no sense. I don't use OLD, but generally speaking, it doesn't turn me off. In fact, I will much appreciate if the other person (irrespective of the gender) reply quickly. Moreover, I don't like playing games it's a waste of time.
Emilia Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 So, I decided to try OLD again, and a few guys messaged me, this one one in particular wrote me like 5 paragraphs about himself, gave me compliments, told me his life story. He seemed like a guy that I would want to meet, so I quickly replied back. He responded, then I responded then after that, he longer replied and poof he's gone! I'm like wth? Am I suppose to wait like 4 days to respond? Play hard to get? I mean, if I don't respond in a timely manner, then he will think I'm not interested, then move on. But if I reply quickly, I come off as desperate and its a turn off??? Is this how it works? Makes no sense. LadyLuck is right. Don't fall for some long paragraphs where a guy keeps talking about himself and supposedly what he is offering and looking for. Unless he makes specific references to your profile, he hasn't read it and sends those cut and paste mesages to loads of women.
TheyCallMeOx Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 I ****ing love it when a woman responds quickly. I especially love it when they get on IM or some kind of program where we can talk faster. If I enjoy a conversation with you, it doesn't matter how soon we talk.
Diezel Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 I'd much prefer a woman who responds quickly than a woman who takes her sweet time. Specially now that OLD has phone apps and I can clearly tell when they are using it because their messages come with: "Hi, how r u. Like ur profile!" That irks me when they just take a day for the next message after.
Jules Dash Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 I like a quick response. It is not a turn off at all. It suggests that the womamay be serious about finding someone, I have some sort of priority and I might not be lost in the shuffle.
fortyninethousand322 Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 I wouldn't be turned off by a quick reply at all. But I'm not the kind of guy who would be getting replies in the first place so...
GemmaUK Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 5 paragraphs and life story will definitely be a cut and paste and tend to be scammers. If he is no longer on the site he probably got reported.
Tayken Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 @OP.....Lets turn the table, do girls/women do when guys/men reply too quickly?
acrosstheuniverse Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 Ask yourself... do you want to be with a man who is 'turned off' by a woman showing interest back? Screams of somebody who likes the chase but then bottles it. I want a man who is excited to speak to me and glad we're in touch. If the simple act of me replying to a man is enough to put him off, then I'm bloody grateful. I've never judged a guy for replying to me instantly either, I just presume I caught him when he is online, or that he has an app which alerts him to a message. I AM turned off by somebody that takes a week to reply to every message, their interest level in me/dating in general can't be that high if he's waiting literally days to check and reply to messages.
Mascara Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 When I was doing OLD I found that soooo many guys send out hundreds of messages, and then pick and choose who to reply to once they get the responses in. Those kind of people pay very little attention as to whether they are actually interested in who they're sending messages to. They just bomb anyone in x age group and y location. So you'll get someone who either sends you an initial message and then never gets back to you, or they'll fizzle out after 2 or 3 messages.
Tayken Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 When I was doing OLD I found that soooo many guys send out hundreds of messages, and then pick and choose who to reply to once they get the responses in. Those kind of people pay very little attention as to whether they are actually interested in who they're sending messages to. They just bomb anyone in x age group and y location. So you'll get someone who either sends you an initial message and then never gets back to you, or they'll fizzle out after 2 or 3 messages. And this is different from women that pick and choose from al the messages they receive how?????
fortyninethousand322 Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 When I was doing OLD I found that soooo many guys send out hundreds of messages, and then pick and choose who to reply to once they get the responses in. Those kind of people pay very little attention as to whether they are actually interested in who they're sending messages to. They just bomb anyone in x age group and y location. So you'll get someone who either sends you an initial message and then never gets back to you, or they'll fizzle out after 2 or 3 messages. I mean, it really makes more sense to send out a bunch of messages than to select a few people you think you'll like and send them a good message. Trust me, I've been doing the read the profile then write a good message thing for years and it's gotten me nowhere. A lot of messages that were never responded to.
DazedandConfused8 Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 So, I decided to try OLD again, and a few guys messaged me, this one one in particular wrote me like 5 paragraphs about himself, gave me compliments, told me his life story. Red flag! This was his initial correspondence with you and he already wrote his entire life story? Either: A) Clingy to the max; or B) He has this pre-typed paragraph that he sends to everyone, which also isn't healthy. He seemed like a guy that I would want to meet, so I quickly replied back. He responded, then I responded then after that, he longer replied and poof he's gone! I'm like wth? Am I suppose to wait like 4 days to respond? Play hard to get? I mean, if I don't respond in a timely manner, then he will think I'm not interested, then move on. But if I reply quickly, I come off as desperate and its a turn off??? Is this how it works? Makes no sense. You're right, this doesn't make sense. Maybe he's been busy working/at school/doing something else? Do you know if he's ignoring you (i.e. he's been online but not responding) or if he's not even coming online anymore?
Mascara Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 And this is different from women that pick and choose from al the messages they receive how????? I would have thought that was obvious; women are picking and choosing from unsolicited messages. If some sends a message and you reply to that message - your reply is not unsolicited. It's a response. My point is that the OP should not blame it on "replying too fast". It's just the way some people operate - message bombing everyone and THEN sifting through.
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