Xerxes1986 Posted March 5, 2005 Posted March 5, 2005 so i was talking to this guy i work with...who i asked to probe that girl i have been talking about for information he gave me the following information 1)She thinks of me as just a friend //i already knew this but ok next! 2)She isn't looking for a relationship //maybe cuz she's leaving for basic training in june...i don't know, i don't care 3)Her guy friend "cody" from work and her have been hanging out and they make out alot too //this is the part that confuses the **** out of me. we all work at the same place. when i started hangin out with kylie...she had already been hanging with cody so she was already all over him. why would she lead me on if she was already with another guy? i think she is playing both of us. what a ****ing bitch. you all were right. anyways my dillema is that i can't just stop calling her or ignore her because we both work here at the same place...so wtf do i do? i don't want to be around a manipulative bitch who is trying to toy with my emotions...but i can't do what i want, walk up to her and tell her to go **** herself either....what do i do?
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 5, 2005 Posted March 5, 2005 In the words of Alphamale, say nothing and do nothing. Just cut her off cold, avoid contact with her if you can, don't look at her, don't make a show of how angry you are. I expect she feels she did nothing wrong. Acting like she did do something wrong by showing a good deal of anger and resentment toward her isn't going to accomplish anything. You can't make someone feel sorry for something they didn't feel they did. . i wanted to make double sure that she only looked at me as a friend and her answer came back as cold as it was the first time. she still wants to hang out with me because she "really, really likes me as a friend and really enjoys spending time with me". I JUST WANT TO BEAT A STRAIGHT ANSWER OUT OF HER!!! I think the only person who led you on in this situation was yourself. She was very clear about how she felt in both word and deed. I never saw anything in your posts that indicated she had any feelings for you outside of friendship. When a girl says "just friends" and hangs out with you that doesn't mean she is harboring latent romantic feelings for you. It means she enjoys your company. That's not leading someone on.
Author Xerxes1986 Posted March 5, 2005 Author Posted March 5, 2005 Originally posted by LucreziaBorgia I think the only person who led you on in this situation was yourself. She was very clear about how she felt in both word and deed. I never saw anything in your posts that indicated she had any feelings for you outside of friendship. When a girl says "just friends" and hangs out with you that doesn't mean she is harboring latent romantic feelings for you. It means she enjoys your company. That's not leading someone on. i don't think so lucrezia...she was telling me that she thought that dating was really a very casual thing so maybe this is why she made out with that guy and didn't even bother to tell me...cuz she didn't think anything of it but then again when have i ever been right? i don't like the "cut her off" thing because for some reason i need to hear it out of her mouth that she played me like a cheap game of poker....or that she didn't...i dunno...i'll play it by ear i guess
Author Xerxes1986 Posted March 5, 2005 Author Posted March 5, 2005 lol where's EC when i need her advice?
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 5, 2005 Posted March 5, 2005 she has told me very clearly that she only likes me as a friend. She explains her mixed signals because she says that she has a really flirty personality. What specific things did this girl do and say that made you think that she had a romantic interest in you? In the posts I've seen of yours, the girl in question repeatedly said she just wanted to be friends. I'm not certain how this is 'leading you on'.
Author Xerxes1986 Posted March 5, 2005 Author Posted March 5, 2005 Originally posted by LucreziaBorgia What specific things did this girl do and say that made you think that she had a romantic interest in you? I may have your situation mixed up with another very similar one. she said we were going on dates, she was always touchy feely (brushing up against me), and i dunno...it just FELT like it if you know what i mean
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 5, 2005 Posted March 5, 2005 Are you basing that on that one time when she said "is this some sort of date"? If so, you can't take that one thing she said and apply it across the board. "Is this some sort of date" is not the same thing as "we are dating". Was she consistently calling what you were doing 'dating'.? If she was consistently calling it dating, then yes - that was misleading of her because in just about every other post there is some description of how she was telling you that she only liked you as friends.
Author Xerxes1986 Posted March 5, 2005 Author Posted March 5, 2005 Originally posted by LucreziaBorgia Are you basing that on that one time when she said "is this some sort of date"? If so, you can't take that one thing she said and apply it across the board. "Is this some sort of date" is not the same thing as "we are dating". Was she consistently calling what you were doing 'dating'.? If she was consistently calling it dating, then yes - that was misleading of her because in just about every other post there is some description of how she was telling you that she only liked you as friends. yes she told me that she thought that it was dates what we were going on
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 5, 2005 Posted March 5, 2005 Well, that sucks. Anyhoo... I still stick by what I said earlier - say nothing and do nothing. I seriously doubt you would succeed in making her feel anything but contempt for your behavior should you do great shows of anger. You can't make her feel sorry. You can't make her like you. What you can do is be a better man and pull yourself out from under this, or at least give the appearance that you are doing so. Girls can be some vicious creatures - imagine everything you do and say: now imagine her telling her friends - or other guys about it and bitching/laughing about you. The only way you can prevent her from continuing to play you as the fool is to prevent her access from doing so - and by denying her any fuel for a fire to burn you with. If you can't be strong right now, you at least have to look and act strong. Hopefully soon, you'll begin to believe in the strength that you are playing at and will be able to move on.
Author Xerxes1986 Posted March 5, 2005 Author Posted March 5, 2005 ya...i don't know how to explain it but im wondering why i was even interested in her in the first place she is pretty good looking, and has a great personality...but i guess the rejection + the fact that i know i was being played killed off anything i had felt for her. its like she killed a little bit of me...but i like it...i feel free but i still feel like a loser that can't even "get the girl" if you know what i mean
Hund1976 Posted March 5, 2005 Posted March 5, 2005 Well if she's going off to basic training in June then it doesn't really matter that much anyway. If you were with her and started to really get into her she would be leaving just three months into your relationship anyway. So just chalk it up to experience and go chase some new tail.
Author Xerxes1986 Posted March 5, 2005 Author Posted March 5, 2005 Originally posted by Hund1976 Well if she's going off to basic training in June then it doesn't really matter that much anyway. If you were with her and started to really get into her she would be leaving just three months into your relationship anyway. So just chalk it up to experience and go chase some new tail. lol yeah there is this girl in my accounting class....but i don't know....i mean she is cute and everything but i thought i heard her say once that she had a kid...im 18...no need for that kind of baggage...sounds like im an ass but seriously...i'm too young to think about that stuff
Hund1976 Posted March 5, 2005 Posted March 5, 2005 i'm too young to think about that stuff Hey its better to be honest with yourself. Dating a girl with a kid would be a lot different if you got into a serious relationship. Watch where you're sticking your pole or you might wind up with one of your own!
Author Xerxes1986 Posted March 5, 2005 Author Posted March 5, 2005 Originally posted by Hund1976 Hey its better to be honest with yourself. Dating a girl with a kid would be a lot different if you got into a serious relationship. Watch where you're sticking your pole or you might wind up with one of your own! i don't think so... my philosophy...sex can wait, masturbate
Author Xerxes1986 Posted March 5, 2005 Author Posted March 5, 2005 thx for all the help u guys...i just can't make up my mind...one part of me says get rid of her...the other says be friends with her...i know what i should do...but i can't pull myself to do it...im not normally the kind of person that just "hurts" other and i think that ignoring her might hurt her...even though she deserves it....gawwwwwww why can't life be simple?
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