DontWorryBHappy Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 I just have a simple thought today…. It's just hard to think about how we were so close, and spent all that time together, seemed to be great friends (aside from even being lovers), and then POOF, he's gone, and it's like I don't even know him anymore. How do you guys find is best to look at that sort of situation, to make it easier? Just the fact that you're not even talking anymore, like that close bond you shared with them didn't mean anything? Sometimes I'm ok and I go about my day fine, and if it pops in my mind, I remind myself of the reasons he gave me for breaking up and how he just wasn't in it like I was. In my case, he told me that he wasn't sure if he had been dating me because it was convenient and even told me his friends were more of a priority than me (while at the same time, talking about how he wanted us to move in together, etc). I know with those things in mind, it should be clear to me. I guess maybe I should stop dating confused people, because they leave me… confused.
Agent Orange Posted September 25, 2014 Posted September 25, 2014 I know exactly what you're going through. I'm in the same boat myself, so I don't know exactly what to tell you except to redirect your focus. Spend time with friends, family, etc. Take up a new hobby, or go back to an old one that may have been sidelined by your relationship. You can't necessarily avoid the pain that comes with this sort of a loss, but you can lessen it by surrounding yourself with the people who care about you. Hang in there. He's a douche, and eventually you'll find someone better :-) 1
mightycpa Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 Almost everybody gets "confused" like that. It's a strange thing. If you think back to the time that you met your boyfriend, you'll remember that he was just another guy. Maybe you thought he was cute, or nice, but he was a regular guy. Then one day he changed. But actually, you changed. He didn't change at all, you just started thinking he was the greatest. Now, here's the part where you have to be honest. When you started thinking of him like that, there was probably no particular reason. You guys clicked, but I doubt very much you can tell me why, other than you both "felt" the connection. There really is no "reason" unless you count "you both felt the connection'. Once one of you can no longer "feel" the connection, that's when the end begins. But there was no reason why either of you felt it, and there's no reason why either of you don't feel it anymore. In that way, it is like an infection. You don't know when it will start or end. Ride your feelings out. Don't be afraid to feel pain. You'll get through it, and when you do, it wont' be long before love finds you again. 2
singsparkles Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 I just have a simple thought today…. It's just hard to think about how we were so close, and spent all that time together, seemed to be great friends (aside from even being lovers), and then POOF, he's gone, and it's like I don't even know him anymore. How do you guys find is best to look at that sort of situation, to make it easier? Just the fact that you're not even talking anymore, like that close bond you shared with them didn't mean anything? Sometimes I'm ok and I go about my day fine, and if it pops in my mind, I remind myself of the reasons he gave me for breaking up and how he just wasn't in it like I was. In my case, he told me that he wasn't sure if he had been dating me because it was convenient and even told me his friends were more of a priority than me (while at the same time, talking about how he wanted us to move in together, etc). I know with those things in mind, it should be clear to me. I guess maybe I should stop dating confused people, because they leave me… confused. Oh my gosh, this dude is completely IMMATURE!! If a guy can even SAY to ANY GIRL that his friends are more important, he has A LOT OF GROWING UP TO DO. Thats a huge red flag. Also, I totally understand your situation. It's hard. I went through/am still going through the same thing. You date and everything between you seems great, like a bond you've never had with ANYONE ELSE before... it seems perfect, it seems untouchable, and then poof, they are gone. It's not you. It's totally him. Guys like this will be this way with any girl...and trust me when I say this, because I have dated so many guys like this it's ridiculous. And I'm finally learning I need to change my choices in the men I choose because it's a pattern that keeps happening. Men like this are not ready for a relationship. When you hangout, they treat you wonderful almost like a princess, and when you're not together they are not interested and are constantly riding around town with their buddies. It's a huge red flag and not relationship material. Please trust me when I say you are SO MUCH MORE WORTHY than this dude! You are a lot more mature than him and you have so much more to give than him. He's not able to give any girl what you're looking for. I definitely suggest to do No contact... and unfortunately, dudes like this will probably call you or text you in the process of no contact, because they're immature and thats how they are and they want things they can't have and only want it when it's convenient for him. Do not answer his texts and leave him in the past, no matter how hurt you are... you deserve so much more. There is a wonderful guy waiting out there for you. You need to let this idiot go!!! Hang in there, forget him and focus on you and try to do things to occupy your brain in the mean time so you're able to move on. You are strong and you can do this!!! Hugs:) xxx
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