tooshort1979 Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 so i was with my now ex for 3 years. We broke up a week or so ago and found out hes dating already. I know hes been talking to her for a month via text back and forth. I was suspicious and went through his stuff yes i made my mistake because i was insecure. We have been up and down trying to make it work for 6 months, we lived together for a yr. I just dont understand after 3 yrs hes dating already..BTW its a mutual friend of his. So heartbroken. he said hes not sure if theres a future with us because i betrayed our love by snooping. PLEASE HELP!!
Elle1975 Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 He is turning the table on you by using the snooping incident. What he should have said is "I'm leaving you for somebody else (and i have been talking to her for about a month, if not more)." So no, he's not leaving you because of the snooping, he's leaving you for someone else, and dumping the reason on your lap; convenient way not to look like the bad guy. He's not "already" dating, he's probably been dating her behind your back.
mightycpa Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 Maybe this will help you understand it better: |------------------------------------| You've been seeing him for 3 years |xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx------------| living together for one year |xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx------| having problems for six months |xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx-| he's been texting with a girl for a month and now he's dating. I'm not surprised at all by this.
msms21 Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 so i was with my now ex for 3 years. We broke up a week or so ago and found out hes dating already. I know hes been talking to her for a month via text back and forth. I was suspicious and went through his stuff yes i made my mistake because i was insecure. We have been up and down trying to make it work for 6 months, we lived together for a yr. I just dont understand after 3 yrs hes dating already..BTW its a mutual friend of his. So heartbroken. he said hes not sure if theres a future with us because i betrayed our love by snooping. PLEASE HELP!! Were at the same both. My gf left me after 4 years and started dating some one alse after 1 or 2 weeks too. I know how you feel. Its a very hard feeling you must be asking yourself every minute how can he do this to me? Didnt he care about me ? Is she better than me ? I have to tell you something, i did the same thing. Be sure shes not better and he probably not even loves her, but you just need to let go that feeling, tell yourself that if he can do such a thing, you dont need him, tell yourself you dont care and dont, just DONT contact with him. The only reason you should answer to him its only "i want to get back together " and than, if you still want you need to let him work for it. Dont think about him think about yourself because his sure doing the same. Dont look at hia photos, facebook, instgram nothing. Trust me i did the same for 2 months i looked at every video and photo of us and i started follow every photo ahe upload but i only made my self be depress. Win youself and your needs and stop all connection to him. Dont answer to nothing alse beliveme thay if he will want you back he will find a way. Let him live his mistake because he does make one and he will realize it sonner or later. I know its easy to say and hard to make it is to me too. But you have to be strong. Good luck !
lop98 Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 Don't fall for a second for the snooping excuse. Yes it's bad but sometimes lack of honesty and cowardice leaves no other option. It's really no surprise that besides not having the guts to tell you he no longer wanted to work in the relationship, he's now having even less and wants to put the blame on you. He's shown you his true colors... the first year of living with your partner is the hardest, everyday can feel like a test and he gave up on it either for lack of maturity or energy, bottom line is, he didn't want to work in the relationship anymore and has now moved on. Regardless of the type of his new relationship (rebound or not) or how long it's been happening, he's now with someone else, he chose that and chose to let you down. Comfort yourself in knowing he will likely make the same mistakes sooner than you think, people like that sometimes change but veeeeery slowly, don't sit around staring at his his poor decisions like this ":(", just pick yourself up, chin up and focus on healing and moving on (full No Contact). One day, about a year from now, I can promise you the pain will feel like nothing compared to how it feels right now and you'll realize some people exit from our life in a nasty way but usually for the right reason, once great things start to happen (other people, other opportunities) as a result from that loss, you understand why it all unfolded the way it did. Stay strong, girl!
Author tooshort1979 Posted September 13, 2014 Author Posted September 13, 2014 Thanks all for the advice . Easier said then done, as sure it goes for a lot of us. I was just talking to one of his friends and they all believe this wont work out and they dont like this girl. They said i was the best gf hes ever had. I take it as god has a plan and karma is a bad thing. what goes around comes around. And i did find out hes been talking to her for a month. nothing sexual, but still you shouldn't be talking to another girl when your with someone else thats still cheating
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