wayji Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 I'm still feeling broken about a relationship I had (one month) with a co worker. Even though we never slept together, I felt used by him because he was okay with hooking up with me after we had been really good friends. Later gave me a bunch of reasons, but I still can't handle seeing him at work. He gets annoyed because I don't act like a normal co worker. But I still can't bring myself to act normal to him after what he's said to me. I made the mistake of trying to get him back for months and I still feel broken about losing him as a friend. He's constantly telling me that he doesn't want to be friends with me and that he was "just being a guy". I've accomplished so many things, getting my dream job (I have two) and getting high grades, but I still find any time to get through to him. I feel guilty feeling so upset, a year later, about a relationship that was only a month. Especially when seeing so many people dealing with more difficult things. I keep wishing someday he would change his mind.And sometimes I can't understand why I keep caring about someone who might have used me.
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 Because short time or not, you became emotionally invested. This does not make you a bad or weak person. You just fell for him quickly. I knew I was crazy about my ex within a few days / weeks (we lasted 3 years). This is why you shouldn't date people at work. My ex and I were teachers at the same school. She dumped me in Feb 2013 and it still hurts...
dragonfire13 Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 (edited) I don't think anyone can dictate how long it should take for you to "get over" something, so you have nothing to feel guilty over. When you really like someone, and they disappoint you, it makes it harder to move on. Unfortunately, men like this (who seek a casual relationship, and then bail when they don't get the goods or express frustration when a woman expects more) are commonplace. I don't know a single woman who hasn't had to deal with a guy who didn't want commitment. It's a life lesson and you know what type of men to avoid now. And view it as his loss - it's his personal choice if he doesn't want a relationship, which he is entitled to, but there are men who are looking for a committed, loving relationship and those are the ones that are worth your time. There are things you can do to help you move on too. For a start, dating others, socialising and having fun with your friends and generally, continuing to focus on bettering yourself and fulfilling your life ambitions. Being single is a perfect time to do all of these things. From personal experience, I have been really into guys, disappointed that things didn't work out and utterly convinced that I would never meet anyone I had the same chemistry or attraction for (I'm extremely picky when it comes to men)...but then randomly, I've met someone else who has sparked an interest. And it helps me forget about the ex. Which I know is difficult when you still work with a guy and have to see him...but dating others will help. Edited September 13, 2014 by dragonfire13
Author wayji Posted September 14, 2014 Author Posted September 14, 2014 Thank you for your advice. I feel frustrated when I think about being with someone else. It just doesn't feel right.
Author wayji Posted September 15, 2014 Author Posted September 15, 2014 I saw him again today at work and I always feel an urge to talk to him. I feel like my life is going no where even though I'm constantly busy with two jobs and six classes. I made myself busy on purpose but I still feel constant anxiety about what happened with him.
evanescentworld Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 I don't know why, but I think you may benefit from therapeutic hypnosis. You're obsessing about him, and frankly - I apologise if I sound cruel - but I think a one-month liaison, playing on your mind, as strongly as this is, a whole year later, IS quite extreme. And if you're honest, you do too. Otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned it. I also think it irritates the crap out of you, that it still bothers you so much... Try to find a good therapeutic hypnotist. Such people exist, and I know an extremely good one in Oz... Do some research and consider it....
Author wayji Posted September 15, 2014 Author Posted September 15, 2014 I think its partly the fact that I run into him so much. Every time I see or hear about him it makes me want to do something about what happened. It was only a month but in that month I truly believed that my best friend loved me.
evanescentworld Posted September 16, 2014 Posted September 16, 2014 I think its partly the fact that I run into him so much. Every time I see or hear about him it makes me want to do something about what happened. It was only a month but in that month I truly believed that my best friend loved me. Yes I can see how the perpetual reminder of your time together, due to his constant presence, makes it so much harder to move on. That's why I think that a proactive move on your part, by investigating and researching the benefit of therapeutic hypnotherapy would actually really help, in real time, by assisting you to excise the block to moving on, from your psyche....
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