tpham18nm Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 (edited) Its normal for everyone to stereotype and place people in different categories; a nerd, skater, gangster, pretty boy, metro, etc. Well today I ran into this very beautiful girl working at a small deli. She had tattoos on her hands and wrists. Symbols such as the "him" sign and an anarchy symbol that was kind of faded and 3 piercings on her ears. She seemed very down to earth, a little shy, but defiantly a character (Im just making assumptions based on our small talk). For some reason I was really drawn to her. So I made small talk and found out a little bit about her and before I left, I asked her out. She gave me her number but never responded. (Perhaps she was being polite). I am always the rebellious, adventurous type of person. And I'm not afraid to push any boundaries, I also strive to be very "well rounded". So I learned the guitar, took art classes, got into weightlifting, running and calisthenics, love education and writing. I don't know what stereotype I fall into perhaps an althetic nerd. We were complete opposites on our outside appearance. But I was still attracted to her. When I asked her out, I just finished a teaching gig. So I was in slacks, a polo, and ray ban eye glasses. I think she completely brushed me off because I was so different than her (or that she just thought I was weird). Anyways has anyone of a different type ever asked you out? What did you say? How did you feel? And what should I do about that cutie at the deli?!! Thanks for the read everyone!! P.s. I'm 23. I'm guessing she's between 19-21. I doubt she's much older than 21. I can't make many assumptions though. She just acts young, like Pippy, jolly go happy with a twist of rebel, a naughty BDSM! Im probably exaggerating but you get the picture. Edited September 13, 2014 by Gotpepsi
Ronni_W Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 And what should I do about that cutie at the deli?!! Go back and assure her, in a joking manner, "Hey...I may sometimes come off like an athletic nerd but I'm not JUST that. I can totally do 'twist of rebel' with a side of 'naughty BDSM'...if that's what you're into. But mostly you just come off as cute and smart and interesting, and I'd really like to get-together for <whatever>. Would you be okay with that?" And then she'll say 'yes', and you'll respond with three different day/times that you're available, and you'll both just make final plans right then. If she is NOT available for one of the three options that you offered, then you say, "Well, here's my number. Call me and we'll take it from there." And then, if she doesn't call, it's just not ever gonna be on. Best of luck!
Author tpham18nm Posted September 13, 2014 Author Posted September 13, 2014 I have her number, she didn't text me back. I would prefer to talk to her in person. Just to see her reaction to my twist of rebel and BDSM lol; but I want to respect that she's at work. I feel that is intrusive behavior if I purposely see her again for that only reason. I'll text her tomorrow and see if she responds. If not, F.I.S.H!
acrosstheuniverse Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 Come on, have you heard yourself? You sound about 12. 'Types' belong in crappy American high school movies. 'The Nerd' 'The Skater Boy' 'The Mean Girl' 'The Goth'. Everyone's different. Everyone looks different. I have several large tattoos and many piercings, black hair and wear a lot of eyeliner. I have dated, fallen in love with and fancied men who didn't give a crap about how they looked and had short hair, no piercings, no tattoos, wore shirts every day. If you're into someone's personality and don't find them physically repulsive then there's a chance of a spark/relationship. This is a pointless discussion anyway, she isn't replying to you, so she's not interested. Don't text her again and hassle her, she'll be in touch if she wants to be. And I guarantee it has nothing to do with her body modifications.
Author tpham18nm Posted September 13, 2014 Author Posted September 13, 2014 That's not true, types belong everywhere! In college, in the outside world, in highschool. How else would people know who they want to associate with? Everyone, even you, instantly put people in categories. That's how we know how to appropriately respond. So the discussion isn't mainly about her. Its of people of different categories or "types" being asked out.
preraph Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 I'm completely guilty of only dating within my type, which is music or art people. I'm not saying it's a great thing, but because I do have introvert tendencies, it is only within my niche that I feel completely comfortable and qualified, I guess you could say. I've tried to date out of type a few times and it was very awkward, I felt. All nice guys, I'm sure. The first was a young Jewish man with money who was working on a stage set for a concert that I met out at a bar. He was a bit shorter than me, had conventional short hair, etc., not particularly good looking either, but I liked his outgoing personality and when he asked me out I went. It was a nice date and everything and I was very nice to him, but I don't think either of us were comfortable. I can't remember if he asked me out again or not. I just felt I was out of my element, that's all. Next was a very preppy very handsome guy my friend introduced me to at her wedding. She's dallied with him, I'm pretty sure, but she worked for his father, who was a newspaper editor. He had money, looks, all that (and money isn't a requisite for me, so that was a happy bonus) and he lived out of state. He flew in to see me a few weekends, staying the weekend. I always had to carry the conversation and he was "waiting" and "being respectful" on the sex, so never found out how that was going to be -- might have changed everything for all I know -- but anyway, I just ran out of material and had to stop seeing him. He married the next woman he met and I'm sure she had more in common with him. He was getting his doctorate in marine biology which sounds fascinating but wasn't, actually, at least the parts I was hearing about.
Ronni_W Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 I feel that is intrusive behavior if I purposely see her again for that only reason. I'll text her tomorrow and see if she responds. NO...do not text her again. You already have one unanswered contact out there. Leave it at that, or you'll come off as something far worse than just a nerdy, rebel athlete with BDSM predilections You are not going back so that you can chat her up again...you are going back because her deli makes your very favourite smoked meat sandwich, or cole slaw, or whatever-the-bloody-heck. Customers at a deli are expected and wanted and needed. That is all that you're going as; nothing more. When she has a quiet moment, it is not intrusive to have a quick, more-personal interaction. If a customer shows up and you're not done talking - which in any case, it's a 2 minute convo at best - get out of the way until she's free again (But don't loiter, either .)
Author tpham18nm Posted September 13, 2014 Author Posted September 13, 2014 To late i blew up her phone.. And she didn't respond. Ha jk, I didn't contact her again. That would be very awkward. They do make awesome breakfast burritos though for a good price. Im at this stage where I legitimately like meeting new people. I don't think I gave off any impression other than wanting to get to know her. As a person.
StanMusial Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 You're just decreasing your odds for success, while already playing against the house.
Tayken Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 I'm completely guilty of only dating within my type, which is music or art people. I'm not saying it's a great thing, but because I do have introvert tendencies, it is only within my niche that I feel completely comfortable and qualified, I guess you could say. I've tried to date out of type a few times and it was very awkward, I felt. All nice guys, I'm sure. The first was a young Jewish man with money who was working on a stage set for a concert that I met out at a bar. He was a bit shorter than me, had conventional short hair, etc., not particularly good looking either, but I liked his outgoing personality and when he asked me out I went. It was a nice date and everything and I was very nice to him, but I don't think either of us were comfortable. I can't remember if he asked me out again or not. I just felt I was out of my element, that's all. Next was a very preppy very handsome guy my friend introduced me to at her wedding. She's dallied with him, I'm pretty sure, but she worked for his father, who was a newspaper editor. He had money, looks, all that (and money isn't a requisite for me, so that was a happy bonus) and he lived out of state. He flew in to see me a few weekends, staying the weekend. I always had to carry the conversation and he was "waiting" and "being respectful" on the sex, so never found out how that was going to be -- might have changed everything for all I know -- but anyway, I just ran out of material and had to stop seeing him. He married the next woman he met and I'm sure she had more in common with him. He was getting his doctorate in marine biology which sounds fascinating but wasn't, actually, at least the parts I was hearing about. And that is no different from a White woman that only wants to date White men, or a Black woman only looking for Black men. As you might know, people don't come out and say it on online dating sites, instead they will just not respond or say "I don't think we are a match meaning...I don't date your type 1
todreaminblue Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 people really shouldn't live in boxes of a worlds warped perception.......that includes putting people in multiple boxes....you take people as people not for what they do but who they are.....not for what they participate in......not what they know or they dont know....where they live ro dotn live....what they wear or dont wear.....or even what they believe in..... i met a man.....ragged clothes....told me he lived in cartons at the back of a deli.......he was a maths lecturer at a university...sick of the world and the people in it.........he had a brain that could run circles around any one i have ever met...appearances are deceiving.......deb
Tayken Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 people really shouldn't live in boxes of a worlds warped perception.......that includes putting people in multiple boxes....you take people as people not for what they do but who they are.....not for what they participate in......not what they know or they dont know....where they live ro dotn live....what they wear or dont wear.....or even what they believe in..... i met a man.....ragged clothes....told me he lived in cartons at the back of a deli.......he was a maths lecturer at a university...sick of the world and the people in it.........he had a brain that could run circles around any one i have ever met...appearances are deceiving.......deb Met and being with such a man are two different things....question is, would you date this man?
todreaminblue Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 (edited) Met and being with such a man are two different things....question is, would you date this man? yes......i would...for all purposes though i could not live in a cardboard box or a clothing bin with that man, i have been there and done that....i dont need to live there anymore....i would date him though...i spent quite a lot of time with him ........deb Edited September 13, 2014 by todreaminblue
Phoe Posted September 14, 2014 Posted September 14, 2014 I personally don't care about "types". All the guys ive dated have been different from the one before. If a person is a good person, that's all that matters 1
Ronni_W Posted September 15, 2014 Posted September 15, 2014 They do make awesome breakfast burritos though for a good price. So...how was (were) the super-delicious, well-priced breakfast burrito(s) that you've no doubt partaken of since your quoted post??? "Enquiring minds need to know!"
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