Xiang Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 Broke up over a year ago. Talked every now and then, NC for less then half a year. I still think of everytime before i go to sleep and when i wake up she is the first thing to cross my mind. I went 1 day without thinking of her in the MORNING, was a surprise, but then i went back to normal. I can't seem to get over my ex at all, work, hobbies or whatnot. Ofc she has moved on, i found out she has someone else wich get me very anxious, actual chest pain, happens often wich is not healthy. How long can this take? This obssesion i am having. And if anyone went through something similar, maybe never get over someone?:\
True Gent Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 How long is a piece of string? Everyone is different, and everyone's circumstances are individual. What steps are you actively taking to move on? What are you passionate about?
Author Xiang Posted September 12, 2014 Author Posted September 12, 2014 Not passionate about anything or idk, answered that in another thread, sorry. What i am actively doing is... Working :\ and spend free time with family friends other chores so i don't think of her. NC is the only step i have taken, not talking to her. But i still get info on her from mutual friends, or hear them talk, wich is how i know some things. I sometimes can't even keep her out of my head when with friends. I just see something, or some other couple kiss, and i space out thinking of her. Everything reminds me...
Justaguy30 Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 I went through the same exact thing. Thought about everything that had happened thousands of times. Thought about her all day every single day. She was the first thing I thought of when I woke up then all day while at work or even while I was having conversations with people sometimes. Nothing and I mean nothing made it better. Its the only thing I could think about. What has helped is every time I think about something I tell myself in my head that it doesn't matter or she is horrible or fuc her or so on. That has really helped a lot. Its been about 8 months and I still think about stuff but the physical pain has gone away and the idea of her being with someone else doesn't really bother me anymore. Another thing that helps is telling yourself that you don't love her anymore and you actually don't. You just miss her. Think about it this way, could you get back together with her after she has been in love with someone else and what not. Think about things logically and then convince yourself its over and you can do better and you can. It was so bad the first two months I couldn't even watch tv. I still avoid certain shows and restaurants and seeing her. Another thing is you have to stop finding out things about her because its just making it worse. I had to know myself and I found out everything I wanted to know but it just made me hurt way way worse!!!!!! I started telling myself i was obsessed and had to stop when I started thinking about things which actually made a huge difference. You have to realize that you don't love her you are just obsessed with her! Try reading, I also suggest valerian root which will help calm you. The physical pain you are feeling is from Anxiety which you could treat with Valium or something but try organic options first. There is also a flower oil that I use that really helps a lot. I forget what its called but if you are interested ill find the bottle and let you know. I am so sorry you are going through this!!! I did and it was the worst time of my life, you feel crazy and it just won't stop. I cried a lot and often for 6 months, sometimes for a hour. Its the most painful horrible thing I have ever been through but it will get better!!!!!!!
Justaguy30 Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 Get on amazon and order a few books and try reading every night or when you are bored and thinking about her. That helped me a lot!!! Its all about training your mind to think about other things. If you take all of these steps I promise you things will start to change. Its all just mental and chemical in your brain. What you are thinking about isn't real anymore its all just something you are making up in your head. You could try therapy as well and an anti depressant if you are not already on one. You have to get serious about re training your brain to think about things that matter and she doesn't. Work really hard at these things everyday and it will start to get better. If you are like me you are kind of obsessed with the pain as well. With out the pain there things don't feel right. The first day I didn't think about her all day I was kind of lost haha it was very strange after months of torture.
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