swati Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 I am in a relationship from last 2 n half yrs. We both were happy in our relationship.we talk to our families.n they accept our relation but my family gave me some time to think again as dis is d matter of my life.. Few days back I found that I got pregnant.we went 3 times to d hosptl to abord but we didn't.we both want d baby.we didn't want to kill him bcoz of our mistakes.my bf said he is always with me n nobody is going to blame u for anything..he want d baby n want to marry me..den we told to our families about all this..his family get ready for our marriage also but it create a very bad impression on my family n my parents forced me for abortion..or they gave me an option to chose between my parents or my bf.I luv my parents n I already hurt them so much..I can't leave them..bt I also luv my bf..I m getting so much emotional ly attached with my baby also..bt under d pressure of my parents I take d decision to abord..against my bf wish. After abortion our relationship also affects..when I talk to my bf about dis den he said i accept that i had done a mistake n i am very sorry for it.n I luv u so much..n I m not blaming u fr anything.I still want to marry u..bt I never forgive ur parents. They killed my child..n after marriage I didn't make any relations wid ur parents..I never treat them as my parents.u can go to ur parents home bt I never attend any functions or went to any occasions related to ur family.. I tried to convince him not to do these stupid things bt he didn't understand me I am so confused..my parents are not talking to me.I know I hurt my parents so much..bt I can't live without dem.on d contrary I luv my bf also..I can understand his feelings also..bt none of dem understand my fellings. Pls suggest me what should I do...whom does I chose between my bf and my parents???
Mr. Lucky Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 I talk to my bf about dis den he said i accept that i had done a mistake n i am very sorry for it.n I luv u so much..n I m not blaming u fr anything.I still want to marry u.. No judgement but, if it's your goal to get feedback, you'll get a lot more responses by dropping "text" speak. Hard to read... Mr. Lucky 2
d0nnivain Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 You are in a very difficult situation. I would recommend you make the choice that is best for your unborn baby & I urge you to consider adoption. Your baby gets a good home & you are not burdened by responsibilities you aren't ready for yet. With this choice your parents will most likely begin to see you as a responsible adult capable of making intelligent choices. At the very least if you decide to have the baby don't rush into marriage. Wait until after the baby is born & make sure marriage is the best choice for everyone. Rash decisions lead to trouble.
Mr. Lucky Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 You are in a very difficult situation. I would recommend you make the choice that is best for your unborn baby & I urge you to consider adoption. Your baby gets a good home & you are not burdened by responsibilities you aren't ready for yet. Hard to decipher but I think she's already had an abortion... Mr. Lucky
todreaminblue Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 I am sorry that you aborted your baby...you should not have been put under pressure to do such a thing especially from people who love you.......your bf has every right to be upset as the baby was his as well......i feel that the law is skewed on this side.....i know it is a woman's choice to abort....by law....i believe it should be mutually decided upon......when a couple are together......adoption is always an option ..... in saying that....i feel for you....if you truly love a guy and your parents are forcing you to choose between them and the guy, as they forced you to choose basically, an abortion.....go for the guy who cares for you and would support your decision not the parents who force you to bend to their will because what they did ...was take away yoru rights to choose.....you can love yrou parents.......you dotn have to stop loving them.......you were planning on marrying him the marriage was set ....i dont understand the parents forcing you to get an abortion....i just dont understand it....i stop abortions as a parent.......i went against my exes wishes and supported my daughter in having a baby out of wedlock...even though i agree with marriage before sex.....i had a massive fight with the father of my daughter and i did not back down...now my ex has a granddaughter who he adores and loves....my daughter si still with the father of her child and planning to marry,......albeit arguments and life aside....they are together... seeing how your bf didnt want the abortion that is going to take some serious counselling to keep your relationship together....you both sound pretty young or you do..... can i enquire how old you are.............deb
Author swati Posted September 13, 2014 Author Posted September 13, 2014 I am 25 n my bf is 28 yrs old
Citizen Erased Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 Your parents wanted you to abort your baby, you did, and they're still not talking to you? Seems like it was worth it. Your boyfriend's reaction is not stupid, I can't believe he would still want anything to do with you, let alone your parents. 2
todreaminblue Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 I am 25 n my bf is 28 yrs old you are both adults now you need to make your own decisions.....listen to your parents advice but make your own choices.....your parents need to see you as an adult....be strong .....i wish you well...deb
atreides Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 (edited) OP, my story is a different but the same topic. I decided to date a beautiful woman from Guatemala. When i dated her, i brought her around very rarely to my parents as they are the fulcrum of bigotry... my mother could write the sequel to mein kampf, with all her genetic bull sheet she spoke about. My now wife, went through a living hell... being called every name in the book and especially my mother trying to sabotage everything. My wife and I decided to get married and i had no idea if my parents were going to show, nor did i care in the context that my soon to be wife then was going to be my wife come hell or high water or if it meant never seeing my parents again. They showed up... but the hell was not over... we lived 1 year until the brink... my wife went over to my parents without me knowing and gave them hell... a quality in her i love so much is her bravery when she did so... as she knew i literally went to war with my family every other day. The day after my mother was scared... for the first time... she was shaking... I laid down the law that day... that my parents either find a way to remove their hate and accept us or they will lose the objects of their hate... they would lose me. They capitulated... i use that word specifically... as when my first son was born... my mother's true colors showed themselves once more. She walked in to the hospital room, ignored all the guests we had... demanded she see the color of her grandson's hair and stormed out afterwards as it did not meet with her "genetic approval." I skipped over a lot but after my first son was born, i issued my last ultimatum...as my wife is more forgiving than i as she wanted our kids to have grandparents... i could have cared less after what happened. Today... you would not be able to tell all the hell that took place... i am thankful for that... however, my point is that i was ready and really already had cut ties with my parents for their actions... it was going to be ME living my life and not my parents living my life for me. Edited September 13, 2014 by atreides
No Limit Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 Your life doesn't depend on your parents. I know placing the people who brought you through your earliest life stages isn't easy, but when they pressure you into killing your own child and afterwards still behave like a pissed off audience, you really have a lot of thinking to do. And your BF's actions are NOT stupid. He must really love you if he even considers marrying you despite taking his child's life.
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