OffRail Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 Why would dumper check on dumpee's social media / blog / etc ? Especially since you supposedly don't care for them anymore, and never did. What is the psychology behind this sort of behaviour ? Thanks for your feedback / opinion.
d0nnivain Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 Some people develop sort of a dumper's remorse. They miss the good times. Others check to ease their own conscience. They want to assure themselves that the other person is OK, not devastated. Or they want to boost their egos to see that the other person is still in pain. It almost never means that they want to get back together. 1
Zzyxx Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 In the pov of a dumper, it's probably cause they're curious to see how you're doing, since they did once know you and probably spent a lot of time with you. If they are mean people, it's probably also an ego stroke for them if you're not doing so well, or if they really did care about you as a friend, maybe they want to make sure you're doing ok. Online stuff like that makes it really easy to check up on people anonymously, and people get curious. I think it's just the nature of people being nosy. I have people I'm facebook friends with that I'm not really even friendly with in real life, but either their lives are entertaining or dramatic enough for me to do some online stalking when I'm bored. My ex deleted me off of facebook even though she's the one that dumped me, so what can I say, people get weird about that kind of thing.
Lernaean_Hydra Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 It can be anything from guilt to regret to simply natural human curiosity. It's not hard to imagine why someone might occasionally want to take a peak in on someone they once shared a significant portion of their lives with - no matter how it ended or who by. Rarely is it worth reading into. 1
imsooooconfused Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 What if the dumper is checking to regularly through the day to see if dumpee is online? And sometimes at 3-4am? And. If the dumper is uploading photos with meaning to the relationship?
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 What if the dumper is checking to regularly through the day to see if dumpee is online? And sometimes at 3-4am? And. If the dumper is uploading photos with meaning to the relationship? How would you know this?
imsooooconfused Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 How would you know this? The facebook thing is a trick to see when they open your message. It lets them know when you were last online and I already know he did that before we broke up. Uploading photos - well I can see them. And they are fairly personal photos of a good day we had together. And he uploaded one of them with a big smiley face - strange for a professional website. Yes, I am stalking... I am my own worst enemy. Haven't messaged him though! Sigh.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 The facebook thing is a tricking see when they open your message. It lets them know when you were last online and I already know he did that before we broke up. Uploading photos - well I can see them. And they are fairly personal photos of a good day we had together. And he uploaded one of them with a big smiley face - strange for a professional website. Yes, I am stalking... I am my own worst enemy. Haven't messaged him though! Sigh. You are reading WAY too much into this. Like WAY too much. Pump the brakes a bit here. Could be 900 reasons and usually none of them mean anything other than being nosey. 2
imsooooconfused Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 You are reading WAY too much into this. Like WAY too much. Pump the brakes a bit here. Could be 900 reasons and usually none of them mean anything other than being nosey. Yes I know. What about the photos? I mean, to add a big smiley face to the title seems... odd. Knowing that I follow him on that website (I mean, it comes up in my newsfeed for it).
NopeNah Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 Yes I know. What about the photos? I mean, to add a big smiley face to the title seems... odd. Knowing that I follow him on that website (I mean, it comes up in my newsfeed for it). Probably a moment of weakness on his part. This is why you should not be in contact with him. Gives you false hope. 1
Author OffRail Posted September 13, 2014 Author Posted September 13, 2014 Some people develop sort of a dumper's remorse. They miss the good times. Others check to ease their own conscience. They want to assure themselves that the other person is OK, not devastated. Or they want to boost their egos to see that the other person is still in pain. It almost never means that they want to get back together. How can we say this for sure ?
mightycpa Posted September 13, 2014 Posted September 13, 2014 How can we say this for sure ?Too bad there's not a way to count the stories of who didn't get back together, who did, and how long it lasted. D0nnivain is right, according to my informal impression.
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