Mevi Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 As the old cliche goes - 'Time heals all wounds.' Does it though? After a 6 year relationship, my ex broke up with me telling me she no longer loves me and feels nothing for me, throwing me away like trash. As if the entire relationship meant absolutely nothing to her, along with me. I know I shouldn't care or feel bad over it because she treat me so bad, and clearly she's off doing her own thing not thinking about me at all, yet I still can't shake the sadness, the emotional feelings and thinking about her constantly. It's been months now, I've been in a haze, so I'm not even sure how long - approximately 3 months, and not only has it not got better, it's getting worse. Far worse. Is this normal? Will time heal these wounds or is that just a bull**** cliche people throw around to make themselves feel better? Can someone please help, I just want to know I'm not crazy for thinking and feeling this way, I just want the pain to stop. Note: I have used strict NC throughout the breakup.
frigginlost Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 You're gonna be alright, man. I know it does not seem like it now, but yes, time will heal you. My ex wife walked out after 17 years of marriage. From the time she told me she wanted a trial separation to the divorce being final was just over 3 months. Talk about being in a fog... It took me a good year and a half of absolute agony before the fog lifted. You'll get there... 1
Author Mevi Posted September 12, 2014 Author Posted September 12, 2014 I'm sorry to hear you went through that. Thank you for your reply.
Poppyolive Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 Its gets easier friend. It's still super fresh. Everyone copes diffently. I know for me I sent the first bit in shock, in a haze... then around the 3 month mark, I felt really hurt, like I finally realised. I wouldn't worry about time, where you should be...just take care of you. It will get easier, keep healthy.
Mr Scorpio Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 It absolutely gets easier. While time is a large part of the healing, one must also actively strive to heal. Passive activities won't cut it. Movies? Television? Music? Your mind drifts and before you know it, there she is. Active activities. Things that require focus. Even things that touch on the breakup, but might offer a new insight on it (self-help books). For me, the worst was always waiting forever to fall asleep, and then waking up three hours later and thinking ("oh ****, its time to do this again already?"). That is where exercise comes in. Lots of exercise. Twice a day exercise. Spoil yourself if you have the financial means. Buy some new clothes. Buy a new toy (drone you say?). Take up new hobbies. Keep busy. Keep strong. And know that you aren't alone. You'll be able to wistfully chuckle at it someday. Richard Pryor - Broken Heart - YouTube
welsh_dolphin Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 i know how you are feeling, ive been with my husband 8 and a half years, married 6 and a half, he ended it 2 months ago and i swear im getting worse not better.
ImSoLostWithoutYou Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 Don't you worry, my friend. My ex gf of 4 years broke up with me exactly 2 weeks ago. No contact since then. She even deleted my family member from her facebook so i guess it's really over. The past couple of mornings i have dreams about her but that's fine. Yeah, i miss her because she was part of my life for the past 4 years. But i'm doing fine till now. I had a couple of days no eating/no sleeping but i'm doing just fine now. Just keep busy, start reading books, play games, do work. Adopt the mentality that if it was meant to be - it would never ends. If it ends - something better is meant to be in the future for sure!
d0nnivain Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 Think about a physical injury, even something as little as a paper cut. Initially the pain is almost unbearable. As the wound heals, the pain lessons, doesn't it? It's the same with the emotional wound of a beak up. One of the keys is to not pick at the scab & NC helps with that. 3 months v. a 6 year relationship isn't that long. Hang in there. Keep yourself busy. Rearrange your living space so there are fewer reminders of her. You can & will get through this
mightycpa Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 Not only will it get better, but it will get much better. Think of it like you got on a rollercoaster ride, and you hate rollercoasters. There will be really hard curves and bottoming out, and there will be parts of the ride that don't feel so bad, then the next thing you know, curves and twists and all that. But eventually, the ride does come to an end, and you will be back onto solid ground. Whenever you find yourself thinking about her, or looking back, take a moment to look around you, and find something to improve. This can be a piece of furniture, a car, an athletic ability, anything. The trick is to have some goals, and to train yourself to look ahead instead of looking back, and to accomplish a few things. It helps a lot.
Bella2 Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 It WILL get better. It will. You're doing great holding on to the NC. I was doing better, then got distracted by a breadcrumb, restarted communicating with him and now I feel like I'm back to day one. My own fault! But if you stick to the NC, seriously, you will get there!!!!!!
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