bluefairy812 Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 (edited) If a guy who you have been involved with for a year (feelings present, not relationship. we were getting to know each other and about to date but things happened, both my fault and his) tells you he is too busy for a relationship, but also tells you he is talking to another girl (he says it's not serious, they talk every once in a while) and by NO circumstances can be friends because he still has feelings, but doesn't mind keeping in contact? I asked him what would he do if he saw me with someone else and he said he wouldn't mind and would be happy for me. I, on the other hand, cannot see him with someone else because it will hurt me. What do I do? No contact rule? He has big dreams, wants to move to D.C. next Spring after he graduates with his master's degree. when discussing removing each other from social media, he even joked I didn't have to worry about seeing anything that would hurt me until April, and by then, I will be "long gone". Perfect example - we talked and got things straightened out on Monday. I decide I will no longer speak to him for my own good, I don't want to get hurt. He then texts me a picture of a name, Olivia, from a song he dedicated to me from John Mayer, my favorite artist last year when things were good. I ignored. I'm just confused and don't know what he wants from me.... just to keep me as an option? Help please. Edited September 11, 2014 by bluefairy812
mightycpa Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 I ignored. Help please. You have to do a little more than ignore, although it is a good start. You should either enlist his help by saying something like "Stop contacting me, I need lots and lots of space" and make that your last contact, or you need to go through the various forms of communication he might make and block him. It might be easier if you just ask him to leave you alone until you tell him you're ready to be a pal. 1
Author bluefairy812 Posted September 11, 2014 Author Posted September 11, 2014 you're right, I should just block him completely. not sure why i'm holding on to hope.
Author bluefairy812 Posted September 11, 2014 Author Posted September 11, 2014 yes, i know NC is for us, the ones who get our hearts broken after WE have been broken up with. but is it really the right thing? what if the other person wants to communicate slowly or little by little is upset bc he/she is ignored bc of NC? what if he/she feels NC is immature and we should be adults? please provide your thoughts. i'm having a relapse moment.
rosycheeks Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 If the other person is upset that you want to initiate NC. They aren't respectful of your feelings. They broke up with you and should allow you time to heal meaning to LEAVE you alone. Unless they realize they made a mistake in breaking up with you and want to work things out. Then I could see it as being flexible. Other than that NC is important to YOUR healing.
mightycpa Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 yes, i know NC is for us, the ones who get our hearts broken after WE have been broken up with. but is it really the right thing? what if the other person wants to communicate slowly or little by little is upset bc he/she is ignored bc of NC? what if he/she feels NC is immature and we should be adults? please provide your thoughts. i'm having a relapse moment. We who have initiated NC are trying to train ourselves that it doesn't matter what they think anymore.
Author bluefairy812 Posted September 11, 2014 Author Posted September 11, 2014 I didn't give a warning. I'm just doing it. Because it was established we can't be friends nor can we be together. The only option I have is moving on.
rosycheeks Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 I didn't give a warning. I'm just doing it. Because it was established we can't be friends nor can we be together. The only option I have is moving on. And then so be it. Move on. Tell your ex that, that is the best option for YOU and your emotional well being. If they get upset about it. Honestly, oh well. They shouldn't have broken up with you and think they could expect you to still be there talking like nothing ever happened.
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