messymichelle Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 long story short, together 11 years 2 kids, we split 3 years ago because of his cheating. i refused to take him back and he refused to see his sons, i remained close to his mam, and family. he has been in and out of prison and has had numerous gfs, not really any of my business, ive raised our sons single handed with some help from his mam. his eldest son recently asked to see him at first he said yes then didnt show up,(his mam has said he should be ashamed of himself, she rarely sees him he only visits once every 3 months or so ) he is now back in prison and he mam has jusy discovered that his current gf of 4 months is pregnant and nearly due!!! im in bits over this, i do not want to reconcile with him at all, but how do i tell our sons,?? he has turned his back on them and has managed to get out of paying support because he is on low income etc. why am i jealous that he is having a baby??? especially when i no he is a useless dad to the 2 he has, i really need some insight into this, i mean what if he mam helps with the baby, how will i cope with seeing this child when i dint even talk to him??, i dont know this other woman she could be the nicest person on the planet so why is it hurting me ??
d0nnivain Posted September 11, 2014 Posted September 11, 2014 I don't think you're jealous for you as much as you are jealous for your kids. He doesn't see them so it makes little sense that he'd have more but babies are cute & if when he gets out of jail the baby momma is still giving him sex, he will probably spend time with the new baby & still not see our kids. Be happy that his mom is helping you. Try to make your kids' understand that their self worth shouldn't be tied to dad. I feel bad for them
Reels Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 I have no hope that he would be caring for this new kid.
Author messymichelle Posted September 12, 2014 Author Posted September 12, 2014 thanks for the replies, he just text me this evening wanting our son to ring his, he only just found out that he knows about the baby, i forgot to say he didnt tell our sons or me about the baby himself it was his mam found out through her co worker !!!!! im strugging here, our son doesnt want to speak to him at all, he says hes hurt i dont know how to handle this at all.
d0nnivain Posted September 12, 2014 Posted September 12, 2014 You do what's best for your son. If your son doesn't want to talk to his father don't force the issue. tell your EX that you will give the contact info but you won't make the kid get on the phone or call him. Perhaps when your EX gets back out of jail, you can arrange some sort of supervised visit between EX, son & grandma (so son feels comfortable but you don't have to be their). Somehow find a balance between respecting son's wishes & not forcing him but teaching him to respect his parents, even when they might not deserve it.
Author messymichelle Posted September 13, 2014 Author Posted September 13, 2014 i done that, i text him and told him his son didnt want to talk to him that he has his number if he wants to make contact he will, all i got back was a *OK*, i mean wtf, how can he not remember how our eldest felt wen we had our 2nd child??? could it be possible that he is bitter and his heart is now made of stone regarding our sons, cruel is all i can say, im resisting the urge hear to tell him to go to hell, and tell him how our sons are getting one kick in the teeth after another and being short changed by their *father*, do i ??? or just leave it at that??? im am trying to keep my head together and my opinions out of any reaction, but its so damn hard,
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