GF and I broke up before going to college & got a new BF quickly...

[APGHD]

My ex and I have just entered different colleges that are very far apart. We began dating 4 months ago, and we agreed to break up before going away because we knew that the distance would be a challenge, among the transitions in our lives.

 

As much as we knew this time was going to come, leaving each other was extremely difficult. We didn't realize how hard it was to say goodbye... Despite the time-limit on our relationship we loved each other more than we expected, and constantly told each other how we felt about each other. We had that high-school sweetheart vibe, we had so much in common and she was my best friend, my confidant, and my world. We would have definitely stayed together if our situation was different. We were each other's firsts in many ways, including loves, and in the relationship we both grew, and I noticed her become a more confident and beautiful person the longer I was with her...

 

I questioned the idea of long distance, but my gut said that it would be too difficult for me being in college in all. But now that I'm here, I realized I still want to be with her... only thing is she has a new boyfriend already. We were saying how we loved each other not even two weeks, how much we missed each other, and now she is already with someone else. She expressed how much she missed me when we first arrived, but over time jealousy arose and arguments ensued, and by the time I realized my mistake she had already found someone else.

 

She seems happy, and I don't know who this guy is, but it really destroys me to see her move on so quickly. I didn't expect it, being her first love and all, she used to be somewhat needy towards me and now she's gone. I know that long-distance relationships don't usually work (especially in college?) but I still want to be with her, but I realize I might have to move on... so I've been going NC and told her it was too difficult for me... I want to be with her again but it probably won't happen...

 

Is NC better than staying friends? I'm scared that she's going to forget me especially when she already found a new relationship, and it almost feels like our relationship was discredited when she found a new bf so quickly.. She still wants to be friends, but I feel like we shouldn't. Any advice is really appreciated.

[d0nnivain]

NC is better than staying friends. You don't need a front row seat to her new life.

 

Instead of worrying about her, go explore your new school. Make new friends & possibly get yourself a new GF.

[Chi townD]

I agree, you don't need to see anything that's happening in her life. I strongly suggest that you start a strict NC program. This is to include Blocking her on facebook.

 

 

Time to heal and move on, dude.

[Strength in Healing]

If she wants to be with you my friend she will come back of her own volition.

 

If you choose to be friends with her, she won't need to come back -- you've voluntarily surrendered and there's nothing for her to miss.

Edited September 11, 2014 by Strength in Healing

[lauri]

Honestly dude, how dare she even suggest you two be friends? That is so selfish of her - regardless of your history / short time period together. What are you two going to talk about now anyways? Her new boyfriend? Forget it man - pull the cord and start to move on. She knows you still have feelings for her.

 

I can promise you that your ex will never forget you if you do what we all should have done right away, go NC. She will have more respect for you for doing it as you stood up for yourself and did what was best for you. One day you two may end up together but you cannot waste your time and energy hoping for it.

 

Start full NC - delete her from FB, Instagram and do not respond to any of her messages / attempts to contact you. Wish you all the best.

[y993]

It hurts so much when they move on so quickly! It makes you feel really low, I had the same issue, 3 yrs together and knew eachother from 5yrs before in school and then she gets her first flush of the student life and leaves me for some idiot! and people say university is the best time in ones life... Ye... right. DO you really want to have the image of her with the new guy every time she texts you or when you talk. Or be the guy who texts her while she is on a date with him and then become the third wheel. It is a bitter pill to swallow but the sooner you do it the better, it took me months to finally just say ''do you know what! I have had it!''. If you guys are meant to be, somehow you will end up together, but it is really unfair when someone just disregards the past like that and moves on, if anything the past is what you fight for, that is where all the memories that the two of you formed came from. If she disregards that, then being her ''friend'' will be a very difficult experience for you.

Stay strong!